A local nihilist has started a campaign against vaccinations, arguing that they force children to endure the pain and sadness of their futile existence.

Stephen Bowers, 19, has been handing out leaflets around Rochdale in the hope that more parents will avoid delaying their children’s inevitable deaths and embrace the bleak, harsh reality that we are all doomed. ‘I’m campaigning to stop parents from making the same mistake mine did’ said Bowers. ‘All of this is bullshit. Every day we wake up, go to work, take a shit, and go to bed. One more day closer to the end.’

Bowers’ campaign, despite its small size, has given many parents food for thought. ‘All this time, I just wanted the best for my son’ said Claire Johnson. ‘Now I feel that I’ve just been putting him through years of misery and existential dread. One day, he’ll learn that he’s nothing but meat. Meat that will decay and be eaten by worms.’

Bowers has continued to raise awareness on the futility of immunisation, and plans to do a talk some time in the near future.

‘Death is coming. No one is spared. He will take every one of us, and all memories of us will be lost forever. The scythe is remorseless.’