A Rochdale man has explained what happened when, on a whim, he decided to buy his wife an ironing board for her birthday and thought he had best ask which colour she would prefer.

Speaking from his mate Andy’s house, where he has been sleeping since his wife threw him out 2 nights ago, Steve Dickinson, 28, started by saying “I have no idea what I did wrong, seriously, not a bloody clue. It was going to be a nice surprise, like the saucepans I got her for Christmas, she loved those so much she had tears streaming down her face and was speechless for like 3 hours!

“Then I remembered her saying to me ‘Steve’ she said, ‘Steve, if you’ve no idea what it is I want for my birthday after 4 years of marriage then you don’t know me at all!’

“So that got me thinking, cleaning, she loves cleaning, always clearing up after me, and what goes with cleaning? Ironing right? So Bob’s your uncle, new ironing board.

“Well, I say new but I don’t really know if we have an old one to be honest, it’s not like I’d ever use the thing.

“Anyway, well chuffed with myself I was. Spoke to Andy about it even though he’s been single for years, he said ‘what’s not to like? Women love ironing boards, and vacuum cleaners and stuff. Just ask her what colour she’d like, you know, to show you care.’ ”

Steve then stated that it was when he did “the decent thing” and asked his wife what colour ironing board she would like for her birthday all hell broke lose, “She burst into tears, again, I thought I’d nailed it and she was just really happy but when she started throwing the Christmas saucepans at me I knew something was up. Then she screamed at me to get out and tried throwing the microwave I bought her last birthday, fortunately that was plugged in which gave me the chance to run here to Andy’s house, where I’ve been ever since.”

Asked if he was in touch with his wife, to try and smooth things over, Steve replied, “I’m going to let her miss me for a bit, then when I think she’s ready I’ll pop round so she can cook us dinner and we can have a chat. I’ll even let her suck my…”

Our reporter decided at this point to ask Andy how many bedrooms he had, and whether he was in need of a lodger as Steve would probably be there for a while…