Rochdale paramedics

10 injured after multi trolley pile up in dash to newly opened til at...

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Reports are coming in that there has been a serious collision at Middleton Lidl. So far emergency services have rescued 10 people, including an...

New Beer Campaign Branded ‘Tasteless’

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The British Council For Drinking More Beer (BCFDMB) rolled out their latest advertising initiative, a series of billboard posters to be prominently displayed in...
Tree lined street

Sheffield Tree-Felling Councillor Hospitalised With Irony Overdose

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It has been revealed that Clr Brian 'Hodge' Podge, the Sheffield Councillor responsible for the hugely unpopular street tree felling programme, was rushed to...
Tree lined street

Sheffield City Council issues injunction against Councillor for doing councillory things.

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In the increasing farrago that surrounds Sheffield City Council's efforts to denude the streets of lush, green, oxygen-providing, shade-giving trees - in the quest...

Buying a house is really stressful first time buyer tells bloke in queue for...

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A first time buyer has been explaining how stressful buying a house is to a man he met in a foodbank. Taylor Twyford-Twist was doing...
Writer

It’s too damn hot to write satire says satirist

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Dick Turnip, writer for the Rochdale Herald, has been left unable to write a single humorous thing commenting on, or parodying the day's news. "It's...

Gay traffic lights turn pavements to mince

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Transport for London have overstepped the mark by introducing gay traffic lights according to Rochdale father of two, Arthur Branesell. "Its outrageous! There's one with...

Dog shit bin in Rochdale park to be named after Nigel Farage in New...

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A new dog waste bin being installed in Mandale Park is to be named after Nigel Farage, according to plans allegedly leaked by a...

Gerry Anderson to Return as String Puppet

Die-hard Thunderbirds fans are celebrating the surprise announcement that Gerry Anderson is to headline the upcoming Cromer 60s Festival. North Norfolk District Council broke the...

Rochdale woman who found Hitler’s face on slice of toast converts to Nazism

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A Rochdale woman who found Hitlers face in a slice of toast has revealed she's converted to Nazism. The woman's son said, "About a week...

Rochdale trolley collector quits job, anaesthetises pigeon and cuts off let to pursue career...

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A Rochdale man has today spoken exclusively to the Herald about his short-lived career as a pirate. Captain Lidl Beard had been working as a...

Industrial Action Threatened as British Workers Jobs at Threat in Languages Row

Reports that several British workers have had their employment terminated from the world famous British sofa manufacturer Zestra, because they failed to learn Polish...
Refugees

Local man furious no refugees coming to his village

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A resident of East Lancashire village Potterby has said that he is furious that the government has ignored Potterby when allocating accommodation for Syrian...

Rochdale couple speak of leaving embarassing ‘Jacob Rees-Mogg’ phase

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Two grandparents from Rochdale have spoken about emerging from the embarrassing 'Jacob Reees-Mogg' phase of their life. Orla Board told us, "We'll look back at...

Hot Deals in Rochdale Black Friday Price Crash! – Don’t miss out!

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Rochdale is going nuts this Friday with MEGA DEALS accross the town centre. Grab a bargain, they're giving it away.  LITERALLY! -Head down to your local...

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