Following the conviction of their leaders for advanced wankery, local Britain First members today received another body blow. 

In line with a recent decision by Delta Airlines to disassociate itself with a toxic organisation by withdrawing discounts to NRA members, the Mrs Miggins Bakery Pie Shoppe chain based in Bacup has done a similar thing. 

With immediate effect, the unaccountably popular buttymongers and hawkers of pastry products will be withdrawing their existing scheme for Britain First members.

“It’s a discrace” wailed BF member Julie Rogers (26 stone).  “How will I feed the family now?” Julie sobbed over a future without a 2p per item discount on such BF-themed lines as stake beaks, sossij rolls, keesh and gammon salerd sanwidges (without the salerd).

Three of her children, Winston (10); Enoch (9 and a half) and Thatcher (9), looked beseechingly on.

“Here at Miggins’ we take our social responsibilities very seriously” said spokeswoman Krusti Pye-Phelan. “They told us they were a group trying to get British sportspeople gold medals, and we took them at face value.

“Now we realise the ugly, racist, sometimes surgically enhanced nature of those faces, it is clear our discount scheme cannot continue despite many of them buying three of our ‘Pieface Meal Deals with chips and suet drink’ three times a day. At least.”

Paul Golding was unavailable for comment as he’s only alliwed one phone call a day at the moment.

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