International News

Buckingham Palace has refused to confirm rumors that the Queen will greet Donald Trump with a narwhal tusk during his visit to the UK this week. A Palace insider told us, "You'd think there wouldn't...

Following a series of atrocities in the United States over the weekend in which more than twenty five members of the public were shot and killed the government has announced dramatic reforms to curb...

Tony Montana is set to become White House communications director following the sacking of Anthony Scaramucci today. Mr Montana was last seen toting M16A1 guns and yelling, "Say hello to my little friends" before being...

On the eve of the US Presidential Election Donald Trump has dramatically pulled out of the running. Don Trump, 58 and owner of Streamline Taxis on the Oldham Road in Rochdale, has announced that he...

The Head of the National Cutlery Association, Wayne La Cuillère, has lashed out at Donald Trump on Twitter this afternoon, after the US President made a series of controversial comments about knife crime in...

Following the news that Boris Johnson has been elected Prime Minister UK Customs officials have decided to replace all the 'Nothing to Declare' signs at UK airports and ports with signs that read 'Abandon...

Barack Obama is to narrate the Audible version of US best-selling book, Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House. It's alleged that Mr Obama beat off stiff competition from Bill Clinton to land the...

Flush from the success of Brexit, the EU Commission has been swift to demonstrate what the future looks like without a good hard Brit.  Orleans the morning of 14 February, President Macron's rallying cry...

Couples who call each other Mummy and Daddy have been told by the authorities to pack it the fuck in or be faced with having their toenails removed with pliers and being fed to...

A country full of religious crackpots and nuclear weapons has condemned another country full of religious crackpots for pressing on with their nuclear programme. Hassan Rouhani, the President of Iran, has spoken to The Rochdale...

A man who owns a solid gold living room reportedly told one hundred million of his closest friends that he doesn't pay Tax in case the government squanders it. Mr Drumpf from New York has...

Donald Trump hit a new low today by disembowelling a newborn baby and eating her still beating heart like an apple after she interrupted him during a speech at a rally. The esteemed political philosopher...

2 Russians who are suspected to have poisoned Sergei Skripal and Yulia Skripal have told Russia Today that they always go on holiday and visit random housing estates. Despite always having the excuse that he...

Reports are reaching us that 2 people have been arrested in Judah on suspicion of being healthcare tourists. The pair say they are parents to the future King of Kings. A Bethlehem border guard said,...

Washington - The American military revealed one of its most closely guarded secrets this week.

POTATUS has announced that he will begin to give CNN press conferences in Saudi Embassies from now on. The announcement comes as his administration complained that reporters ask too many hard questions and rarely ask...