On the eve of the US Presidential Election Donald Trump has dramatically pulled out of the running.

Don Trump, 58 and owner of Streamline Taxis on the Oldham Road in Rochdale, has announced that he will not be standing for Chairman of the St Mary’s Primary School PTA. He apologises but says he only said he would do it when he was pissed and anyone who was in the pub with him last night should ignore anything he said.

He says it was a stupid idea and a man of his age should really just stay at home and have a glass of wine.