International News

A giant man dayglo baby who won't stop whining about somebody who said some mean things about him has declared on Twitter that he doesn't care what people think of him. "Obviously the President won't...

Israel has celebrated winning the Eurovision song contest with a massive aerial bombardment of the Gaza Strip and shooting dead some Palestinian civilians. Nine Palestinian civilians were shot dead in clashes between Palestine and heavily...

In the mid 1990's Physicist Dr Samuel Beckett blazed a trail by stepping into his Quantum Leap accelerator and vanishing. In actual fact he woke to find himself trapped in the past, facing mirror images that...

Americans across America are celebrating the fact that for the first time since the invention of calendars there have been more days in the year than mass shootings in America. "It's super! I genuinely can't...

WASHINGTON: The actual real-life US President Donald Trump has achieved a normal score on a cognitive exam and is in excellent fettle, although he could benefit from a course of worming tablets and being...

News is emerging this morning that Donald Trump has started defecating on the floor like a dog after learning that Barack Obama uses toilets. Several cleaners in the White House are reported to have resigned...

A country that has a really serious problem with deranged lunatics buying really big guns and shooting dozens of strangers has publicly said it has "no idea' how to solve the problem. "We just have...

A Turkey that was pardoned by Donald Trump for Thanksgiving has beaten him at scrabble. Traditionally a turkey is pardoned by the serving President just before Thanksgiving day. In a break with tradition President Trump...

Donald Trump has achieved the biggest turnaround in US unemployment figures ever after Twitter was forced to recruit fact checkers to fact check his tweets. The news comes at the end of a week that...

Russia today announced suprise plans to enter the Eurovision song contest tonight. The Russian entry is to be sung by Vladimir Putin and is entitled "This land is my land." The Rochdale Herald can reveal that the song...

News broke this morning that the Northern Ireland political party, the DUP, has demanded one billion euros from Angela Merkel in order to support her CDU party in the Bundestag. It's believed Ms Merkel is...

Category 4 hurricane 'Dorian' has caused devastation throughout the Bahamas this week. The hurricane has broken previous records of longest sustained category 5 status and has had winds of up to 185mph, causing catastrophic damage...

Police have arrested a small bald wizard in connection with the unsolved disappearance of six children between the ages of 8 and 15 at a fairground in 1983. The children; Hank, Eric, Bobby, Diana, Presto...

The controversial decision to hire Hugo Boss was openly discussed by The President-elect, Donald J. Trump, on Good Morning America yesterday during a catwalk segment. When asked about his favourite clothing label, Mr. Trump, apparently...

In the wake of yet another mass school shooting in the USA the National Rifle Association have suggested that the tragedy could have been prevented if children were taught basic sniper dodging tactics. Mike Ropiness,...

The FBI have reiterated that there were absolutely no clues that a bloke who bought thirty three semi-automatic rifles in one year might have been planning something. “That’s not even one a week!” Special Agent...