A Turkey that was pardoned by Donald Trump for Thanksgiving has beaten him at scrabble.

Traditionally a turkey is pardoned by the serving President just before Thanksgiving day. In a break with tradition President Trump then invited the turkey to a game of Scrabble in the Whitehouse.

Turkey Jeff said, “It was all going swimmingly. The President offered me a turkey sandwich. It was Brian, my turkey friend which was a bit upsetting so I declined on account of me not being in to cannibalism. Then he got the Scrabble out.”

One onlooker told us, “It set off badly. Jeff got “zygote”, on a triple word score. Trump put ‘sad’ down. It went further down hill when Trump wasn’t allowed to play “Noel”. They were about at loggerheads when he played “covfefe.”

Another witness said, “Somehow Jeff managed to get the words,” worst”, “president” and “ever” on the board. There was a tense moment when Jeff played “ax” as well. Trump was convinced you can’t have it. In the end we had to remove Jeff. It’s interesting because even though he’s only a bird he still managed to avoid soiling the White House as much as Trump.”

It’s understood that next year the President will play golf with either the turkey he pardons, Vladimir Putin or his fellow prisoners depending on how the next 12 months go.

President Trump tweeted, “Obama never played Scrabble with the turkey’s he pardoned. Jeff’s Scrabble score not as good as mine. Sad.”

Later on he said, “I have the best words. All the words I have. Triple word scores. CNN say that I was beaten by a turkey. Fake news. Can you believe the size of the victory I won.”

It’s understood that Jeff is either now in hiding or in line to be the next White House press secretary.

SHARE

Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra’s favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.*

*Not all of these necessarily true.