Prize boffin apparently unaware of weather
The winner of this year's Dyson James Dyson Boffin Admired By Dyson's James Dyson Award, is Isis.
No, not the naughty middle eastern twerps, a...
Home Office to open Job Centre and Benefits Office in Migrant Calais Jungle
There was outrage in the editorial bunker at The Rochdale Herald after one of the editorial team accidentally read an article in the Telegraph.
"It...
Specsavers Official Sponsors Of WWIII
Specsavers has announced it has signed a two-year deal as official sponsors of the forthcoming World War Three, with effect from mid November. The company...
Russian-branded Emperor’s new memo wallets causing security concerns
Two mysterious Russian stationery salesmen are coming under scrutiny tonight as memo wallets they supplied to government departments may not be all they are...
Donald Trump calls for a ban on schools after latest US school shooting
So-called 'President' and full-time Twitter troll Donald Trump wants a 'total and complete shutdown' of schools in the US after the Florida School shooting earlier...
Obama speech on Trump: untwist your knickers, it’ll be alright
Soon to be former-president, Barrack "Bazzer" Obama has said that nobody ever said that democracy was supposed to be easy and "it's harder than...
Moron who called moron a moron fired by moron
In a completely expected turn of events, a moron has fired the moron who called him a moron and replaced him with, presumably, another...
Head of worlds largest global paedophile network spotted in Dublin
The leader of a global paedophile network has arrived in Ireland as he begins touring the country today.
Pope Francis flew into Dublin Airport and was...
Tribute band ‘The White Supremes’ enjoying huge boost in bookings
The rising tensions in America have led to violent clashes in the streets of late, which has caused the tragic loss of life. The...
English All Xenophobic Wankers – says Nicola Sturgeon without Hint of Irony
Nicola Sturgeon will today claim that “Godless English Imperial filth” are using Brexit as a “licence for xenophobia” and that the English “are secretly working to not be considered Wankers by absolutely everyone.”
The Australian Federal Opposition has called for a Royal Commission into Royal Commissions
In an extraordinary turn of events in Australia Opposition Immigration Minister Aidan Androyd has declared the "necessity for this Royal Commission."
"Well, I tried to...
ISIS Second In Command Killed Again
The Daily Express has reported for the eighth time this month the death of so called Islamic State's second in command.
"He was killed by...
Syrians praying for UK dog owners tonight
People across Syria are united in prayer tonight as Britain is bombarded with heavy rounds of fireworks, the worst we've seen in weeks.
"It's horrendous"...
Bellend backs International Women’s Day by stopping sexist jokes for 24 Hours
A Rochdale man has received praise worldwide for the noble idea of celebrating International Women's Day by boldly telling no sexist jokes for the...
Thank God it was a lone wolf with mental issues and not a terrorist...
More than 50 people have been killed and over 200 injured in a gun attack in Las Vegas, Nevada, today.
It has become the...
Adolf tops list of most popular baby names for boys in USA in 2017
For the first time in almost fifty years the name Adolf is topping the lists for most popular baby names in the United States...
