Quackpot fundamentalist and friend of dictators finally canonised by paedophiles

1
Mother Theresa of Calcutta became Saint Theresa yesterday in a small ceremony in the Vatican. Saint Theresa, who passed through Rochdale on her way...
FBI

There was nothing to tip us off about that bloke who bought 33 guns...

1
The FBI have reiterated that there were absolutely no clues that a bloke who bought thirty three semi-automatic rifles in one year might have...
Donald Trump

Actor playing Donald Trump forgets stage directions

0
Due to White House budget cuts, an experienced but cheap actor was selected for the part. Bit part "character actor" Rowle Player is best...

New American National Anthem Unveiled As ‘Donald Donald Uber Alles’

0
The United States is getting a new national anthem, it has been announced. An executive order has been signed replacing the old anthem, The...

Trump nothing like Hitler. Hitler wasn’t fat and bald say experts

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Historian's have said that Donald Trump is nothing like Hitler as Hitler wasn't fat and bald. Stan Still said, "A lot of people have been...

Greta Thunberg urges politicians to think of the planet they are leaving for Keith...

0
Greta Thunberg has urged politicians to consider the planet they are leaving for Keith Richards when making policies that affect the climate. Speaking just before...

Ryanair cancels all flights to Russia

0
Ryanair have announced today that it is cancelling all flights to Russia in 2018. The move that will be affecting almost no Irish passengers between...
Kim Jong Un

Kim Jong-un claims North Korea ‘now a Hurricane Power’ after successful Atlantic test

0
North Korean leader Kim Jong-un praised the "perfect success" of the country's third and largest Hurricane test and urged further weather development. According to state...
Gigantic Sky Penis

US Navy confirms gigantic sky penis ‘not aimed at any particular President’

US Navy officials have said that the penis drawn in the sky by one of their pilots using a fighter jet's contrails was absolutely...

Director of CIA asks Jason Bourne to drop in on Trump for a ‘quiet...

11
The Director of The CIA, John O'Brennan, asked Jason Bourne to pop over to Trump Tower. Following allegations Donald Trump made about the US intelligence...
White House

It’s too soon since last mass shooting and not long enough before next to...

0
In the wake of the latest mass shooting in a school in Florida that has claimed the lives of at least 14 people The White House...
Fuck

Seriously?

0
I mean, just....Fuck,  Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck.  A spokesman for minorities everywhere said; "Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck...

U.S transgender community ‘relieved’ they will not die fighting for Trump

0
As President Trump, leader of the free world, announced that transgender citizens would no longer be allowed to serve the U.S. Armed forces in...
Arab men laughing

Historic ruling means Saudi men finally allowed to make women driver jokes

7
Equality campaigners were today celebrating as Saudi Arabia made a long-overdue change to its oppressive rules which prevent men from making jokes about women's...
Putin MAGA

Putin has confirmed he will run for second term as President of United States

0
After his self proclaimed "success with that bloated orange puppet" Vladimir Putin has announced that he will seek to control him in a second...
Donald Trump

Trump tells CNN all future press conferences will be held in Saudi Embassy

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POTATUS has announced that he will begin to give CNN press conferences in Saudi Embassies from now on. The announcement comes as his administration complained...

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