Spain apologises to Catalonia saying I’m sorry you made me hit you
THE SPANISH GOVERNMENT'S representative in Catalonia has, sort of, apologised to those injured by the Iberian Stasi during Sunday's independence referendum.
Enric Millo, playing the...
Rock Scaramucci crawled out from under refuses to take him back
Having been unceremoniously sacked as President Trump's director of communications after only ten days and divorced by his wife, Anthony Scaramucci has now suffered...
Theresa May demands Trial by Combat to avoid EU trade negotiations
Theresa May has taken the unusual decision to demand a trial by combat rather than face the EU over the table at trade negotiations.
She...
Emergency services called after Bob Geldof disappears up his own arse
Two fire engines along with police and ambulance crews were called to the centre of Dublin after reports came in that a man had...
Ireland elects first openly sober prime minister
Leo Varadkar made history yesterday by winning the leadership election of the Fine Gael Party to become the first openly sober Taoiseach (Prime Minister) in Irish history.
Leaked memo from US Embassy in London written in Crayon
There has been shock amongst diplomatic circles this morning after a leaked memo written in crayon from the US Ambassador in London revealed that...
China celebrates start of the year of the rat with a plague
China is marking the start of the year of the rat with a global plague outbreak.
As spokesman told us, "We wanted a way of...
RAF successfully destroy evidence of UK chemicals exports
Targeted strikes destroy invoices, with only minor collateral damage to Syrian accountants.
RAF Bomber Command confirmed the series of raids sanctioned by the May government...
Merkel Pulls Out of EU Security Council Talks as There’s No German Word for...
Angela Merkel broke off talks with the EU's British Security Commissioner this week that were about the worsening crisis affecting the free movement of people.
Donald Trump is a hoax, says Global Warming
Global Warming, the phenomenon by which mankind is fucking up the environment, has confirmed on Twitter today that Donald Trump is in fact a...
Theresa May summons devil to discuss Syria
The prime minister has summoned the devil to discuss the government's response to a suspected chemical weapons attack in Syria.
They are expected to discuss...
Obama calls for ban on rapists and racists from entering public office
In a shock move Barack Obama has called for a total ban on racist narcissists, rapists and tax evaders from entering public office until he can figure out "what the hell is going on."
Latest theory on the structure of the Gregorian calendar revealed.
Following alleged intense research on the part of our Ace reporter, The Rochdale Herald is able to reveal the latest acadamic theory surrounding the...
Missile strike in Syria; mass outpouring of grief from OneDirection fans
Following the disastrous US missile strike in Syria yesterday which claimed the lives of 57 civilians including 11 children, teenagers and young adults around...
Trump nothing like Hitler. Hitler wasn’t fat and bald say experts
Historian's have said that Donald Trump is nothing like Hitler as Hitler wasn't fat and bald.
Stan Still said, "A lot of people have been...
Vladimir Putin invites world leaders ’round to mine for drinks and nibbles’
Vladimir Putin has today appealed for calm amid the escalating tension between Russia and the rest of the world, and has invited all current...
