Britain To Close Controversial Island Refugee Centre

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Britain's oldest island refugee centre, Australia, is to be closed following reports of inhumane conditions and bonkers management. The centre, set up in 1770, has...

Sex Workers to sue Daily Mail for comparing them to Melania Trump

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Millions of sex workers are suing right wing rag, The Daily Mail, after they referred to Melania Trump as a "former sex worker" in...
Donald Trump

Germany to face sanctions for failing to help US during D-Day landings

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Donald Trump has today announced a huge package of far reaching sanctions against Germany after discovering that Germany failed to help the US during...

Denmark offers to buy America from Russia

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Mette Frederiksen, the Prime Minister of Denmark has reportedly expressed an interest in buying the Russian controlled territory of the United States of America. Rich...

Trump to celebrate Father’s Day by bathing in the tears of abducted child immigrants

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US President Donald Trump is to celebrate his second Father's Day in the White House by having a bath filled with the tears of...
Dumpster Fire

Dumpster fires unhappy about comparisons to US Democracy

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Skip fires around the world have declared they are unhappy with being compared to the US democratic process.

Malaysian PM offers Greg Wallace out for a scrap over “crispy” rendang remark

Chef John Torode and "diner" Greg Wallace, presenters of BBC's Masterchef, managed to piss the populations of two countries off this week by criticising...

Trump Spokesman Revealed As Black Knight

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The Herald can exclusively reveal today that the Trump campaign aide, Michael Cohen, is the mysterious Black Knight.   The secretive warrior and guard to stuff...
Golden eagle

Birds of Prey sue rock band the Eagles

In a landmark case the popular American rock band The Eagles are being sued by a flock of birds for use of the band's...
Trump

Donald Trump fails to mention the length of his penis in speech defending western...

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Donald Trump left an eager crowd shocked in Poland today when he failed to mention the length of his schlong once during a rousing...

God outs Gay Gay-Hate preacher with biblical punitive flood

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Pastor Tony Perkins, President of the Family Research Council and a particularly lamentable human being, has been hoist by his own petard and "outed"...

Robert E Lee statue replaced by bronze of obese man in pickup truck holding...

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The move comes in order to calm social tensions enraged over the weekend when the savage alt-left attacked a group of peaceful demonstrators merely having a walk with some torches and flags to highlight the importance of freedom of speech.

Donald Trump thrilled Belfast is throwing a parade for him

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Donald Trump has taken time out of his busy schedule to tell reporters that he is thrilled that the people of Belfast have held...

Toymaker confesses he made Melania Trump to keep Pinocchio company

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A Tuscan toymaker has ended days of speculation by confessing he made a new female doll to keep his infamous, lying, long nosed boy...

Conspiracy theorists concerned nobody might be in charge after all

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American conspiracy theorists heads are exploding at an alarming rate as the two main presidential candidates get more and more terrible. "Up until yesterday I was...

First shipment of thoughts and prayers for mass shooting victims arrive in California

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It's all better in California now after a much needed vital shipment of thoughts and prayers arrived in Gilroy following today's mass shooting. "Yeah, we're...

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