Man-child chickens out of UK visit because people said mean things about him

Man-child and completely stable genius Donald Trump has reportedly cancelled his planned visit to the UK next month, according to the White House. Trump was due to visit London in February to open the new...
A delighted Sun Reader

Sun says Trump not nonce as he checks girls teeth before ‘dating’ 

Sun Readers thrilled Donald Trump acquitted of raping 13 year old after convincing judge she "had teeth of 21 year old."

UKIP leader calls for Theresa May to resign

UKIP's leader, Vladimir Putin has called on Theresa May to call a General Election to ensure a Government is elected that will push Brexit through. The President of the United States took time out from...

Melania Trump was definitely not a prostitute says Melania Trump & Daily Mail

Slovenian "model" and "wife" of "human being" Donald Trump has lashed out at allegations in The Daily Mail that she was a sex worker who had sex with horrible old men for money. What a...

Argentina offers to invade Falklands Islands for £1B if that will help May?

A man claiming to represent Argentina has allegedly phoned the British prime minister and said for £1 billion they will pretend to invade the Islas Malvinas, if that will help Theresa May stay prime...

Thoughts and prayers shortages in US reaching crisis point

Shortages of thoughts and prayers for the victims of gun violence is said to be reaching crisis point this morning with many dead people in El Paso yet to receive them.

Idiot dies in Karmic Avalanche

An idiot died in an avalanche of Karma in the town of Teruel in Aragon, Spain, yesterday. Victor Barrio (29), having spent the last 9 years of his adult life torturing large animals for fun...

President Trump to ‘grab May by the pussy’

Donald Trump may touch the UK prime minister's vagina in their first private meeting, the president has tweeted. The straw-haired misogynist wrote, "Excited to meet the UK's PM today. We're going to talk about a...

I’m nothing like Steve Bannon – says Darth Vader

Darth Vader took to Twitter today to distance himself from "that evil bastard" Steve Bannon after Bannon compared himself to Darth Vader, Thomas Cromwell, Dick Cheney and Satan.

Oscar winning director Jonathan Demme dies aged 73

Oscar winning director Jonathan Demme has died aged 73. Filmmaker Jonathan Demme, whose Oscar-winning thriller "The Silence of the Lambs" terrified audiences and introduced one of the most indelible villains in movie history, has...

Mike Pence attends Broadway musical by mistake

Vice-President elect Mike Pence was roundly booed after he attended a performance of Broadway musical ‘Hamilton’ entirely by accident.

Senate approve plans for naughty corner in Oval Office

A White House insider has revealed plans to redesign the Oval Office to help Donald Trump, cope with the rigours of his job. The actions of POTATUS have generated so much concern that staff have...

Barack Obama to narrate Audible version of Fire and Fury

Barack Obama is to narrate the Audible version of US best-selling book, Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House. It's alleged that Mr Obama beat off stiff competition from Bill Clinton to land the...

UK “unsafe” says Trump as British Armed Police “Worst in the World”

Donald Trump has declared Britain "unsafe for US Citizens" as the UK Armed Police have been named the worst in the World on the influential Slager Scale. Named after Michael Slager - the fat,...
Donald Trump

Germany to face sanctions for failing to help US during D-Day landings

Donald Trump has today announced a huge package of far reaching sanctions against Germany after discovering that Germany failed to help the US during the D-Day landings. The sanctions will take effect on...

I don’t need no intelligence, I got this far without none says Trump

Donald Trump confounded satirists again this week after sensationally declaring that he doesn't need intelligence as he has managed to get this far without it.

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