EU offers bribe of better UK weather if we remain
The European Union, desperate for the UK to remain, have said that the proposed European Standard Weather system due to come into operation early...
Governor of Puerto Rico seeks Theresa May’s advice on how to rule an island...
The Governor of Puerto Rico, Jorge Aliouet sent an urgent appeal to Prime Minotaur Theresa May tonight.
The island of Puerto Rico has been devastated...
Trump nominates Bill Cosby for US Supreme Court
Bill Cosby has been elected to the US Supreme Court after being sentenced for sex assault.
Cosby, who today received a 10 year sentence for...
Argentina offers to invade Falklands Islands for £1B if that will help May?
A man claiming to represent Argentina has allegedly phoned the British prime minister and said for £1 billion they will pretend to invade the...
Theresa May’s Rituals
"Theresa May is signalling distress." Dr. Maca Damia comments, viewing photos of the Prime Minister kneeling by the road just inside Wales.
"Do you see...
Italians face criticism over construction.
The Italian government had come under severe criticism today for the standards of its building construction in the 1600's. This comes in the wake...
Trump tells reporters that he’s cured Megadeth
POTATUS, Donald Trump has made a sensational claim that he's cured Megadeth today.
In a rambling 4 hour speech Trump said, "You know what's amazing?...
“The Cheesemakers?”
Archaeologists near Jerusalem have discovered what is believed to be a missing page from the Old Testament.
If genuine it belongs at the beginning of...
G20 Crisis as Trump eats hot dogs in Hamburg.
President Donald Trump caused outrage in Hamburg, Germany today, eating hot dogs and apple pie and drinking root beer all flown in with him...
Donald Trump insists the song “You’re so vain” was written about him
The President of the United States, Donald Trump attended a party in the exclusive Hamptons recently and apparently walked in like he was walking...
Donald Trump to join list of ‘self-aware’ animals after recognising himself in a mirror
US President Donald Trump joined the list of animals capable of self-awareness yesterday, following reports that he may have finally recognised himself in a...
Trump voters deface Police posters with Trump stickers
Police Officers in Bumshart Nebrahoma were furious to discover that recruitment posters around the town had been defaced with pictures of Donald Trump.
The multi-million...
Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump to measure micro-willies at summit
Thin-skinned, narcissistic, alternative-reality dwelling clown Donald Trump and "Nuclear" lunatic Kim-Jong Un are to make history by meeting later in the year to engage...
Kim Jong Un opens Pyonyang’s first fish and chip shop ‘Fission Chips’ to critical...
The world famous entrepreneur and basketball star, Kim Jong Un, has today opened the first fish and chip shop in North Korea.
The chippy, named...
RAF successfully destroy evidence of UK chemicals exports
Targeted strikes destroy invoices, with only minor collateral damage to Syrian accountants.
RAF Bomber Command confirmed the series of raids sanctioned by the May government...
Cheap Nutella latest in long list of things French will riot about
Sweetened hazelnut cocoa spread joins all the other things the frogs are hopping mad about
News broke this week that the French, yes, that lot...




















































