Bellend backs International Women’s Day by stopping sexist jokes for 24 Hours
A Rochdale man has received praise worldwide for the noble idea of celebrating International Women's Day by boldly telling no sexist jokes for the...
“We’re looking forward to getting out” say nuclear weapons.
Nuclear weapons all over the world are today looking forward to their upcoming launch as an opportunity to stretch their legs.
With launch codes about...
Vladimir Putin wins Great Russian Bake-off after other contestants fall ill
Vladimir Putin has won the Russian version of Celebrity Great British Bake-off after all the other contestants sadly died in tragic but mysterious circumstances.
Mr...
Emergency ‘Thoughts and Prayers’ cabinets to be installed in every American classroom by 2020
The US Department of Education has revealed plans to install emergency 'Thoughts and Prayers' cabinets in every school classroom by the year 2020.
The announcement...
President Trump’s hairpiece flown over Korean peninsula in B-1 bomber
It was reported this evening that President Donald Trump’s golden hairpiece has been flown over the Korean peninsula in a B-1 Bomber as a...
Facebook Year in Review video reinforces depressed lonely man’s belief that his friendless existence...
Retired upholsterer, Brian Mould, was thrilled to see a bespoke video of his 2016 appear on his Facebook newsfeed earlier this week.
Filled with anticipation...
Katie Hopkins killed and eaten by starving migrants
Mail Online columnist Katie Hopkins' plan to drown migrants attempting to cross the Mediterranean to prevent them coming to the UK has been put...
Trump and Putin fail to beat each other in two hour long rock, paper,...
Presidents Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin met face to face for the first time in public yesterday and went for each other in a...
For 50p a day you can sponsor an American Border Child
New Charity is hoping to help the children Donald Trump demanded to be locked up at the US border.
A new charity has been started...
Russia to shoot down all planes in Syrian airspace, including their own
This morning Russia released an announcement stating that any and all aircraft entering Syrian airspace will be immediately shot down without warning.
This, apparently,...
I don’t care what UK Ambassador thinks of me, says dickhead who won’t shut...
A giant man dayglo baby who won't stop whining about somebody who said some mean things about him has declared on Twitter that he...
All your medals belong to us – Says China
As the country basks in the glory of Team GB's second place in the Olympic medal table, China released a press statement saying,
"The People's...
Trump tells G7 steel tariffs will ensure weapons used for mass slaughter will be...
Donald Trump has announced that steel and aluminium import tariffs will mitigate concerns that the Assault Rifles used in mass shootings recently have not...
Car bombs not as bad as nicking stationery insists Martin ‘I’m a politician’ McGuiness
Former number three in the Irish presidential election Seamus Martin Pointa McGuinness has resigned from his position as Deputy First Minister of Northern Ireland.
The...
IOC Vote Against New American Sport in 2020 Olympics
The USA's hopes to add another pointlessly American sport to the 2020 Olympic have been dashed by the IOC due to concerns over the...
My missile is bigger than your missile Trump tells Kim Jong Un
Donald Trump has started a Twitter row with Kim Jong Un over the size of their missiles.
Kim had yesterday claimed he possesses a missile...
