Trump rushed to John Hopkins with severe burns
Donald Trump is said to be in a stable but critical condition this morning after being rushed to hospital suffering from self inflicted third...
Trump restores American faith in Bush
Donald Trump has today been credited with restoring America's faith in Bush.
Dwayne Dwight of Alabama told the Herald "I was big into Bush in...
Coal prices spike on news of Katy Hopkins’ incineration
International coal prices have jumped to $120 a tonne, their highest since 2011, following news that a British court has sentenced Daily Mail columnist...
Trump Team Dismiss 9 Year-Old ‘Body Swap’ Claims
A spokesperson for Donald Trump has described as “absurd” claims being made by a Wisconsin couple that the President-elect is actually their 9 year-old son.
Mike and...
China celebrates start of the year of the rat with a plague
China is marking the start of the year of the rat with a global plague outbreak.
As spokesman told us, "We wanted a way of...
UKIP reveal solution to ‘Irish Problem’
Paul Nuttall revealed UKIP's Irish policy this afternoon and raised more hair than usual.
"It's clear Ireland is a problem as the United Kingdom hurtles...
Emergency services called after Bob Geldof disappears up his own arse
Two fire engines along with police and ambulance crews were called to the centre of Dublin after reports came in that a man had...
50 migrants in canoes rescued off Kent coast forced to return to UK
A search and rescue operation has recovered 50 migrants off the Kent coast, the Home Office has said.
As spokesman said the Border Force had...
Julian Assange Loses Porn Privileges
Long term squatter julian Assange has lost his internet porn privileges at the Ecuadorian Embassy, where he lives in a cupboard, The Rochdale Herald...
We tried democracy and frankly it’s not for us, Spanish government tells voters
The Prime Minister of Spain has told voters that democracy isn't for them and it refuses to recognise the result of a referendum on...
ISIS Propose Christmas Cease-Fire Kickabout
ISIS troops fighting around the city of Palmyra have suggested that hostilities be put aside for a few hours at Christmas for an informal game of football with opposing ground forces.
Worst thing to happen in America today was my hair got wet, Trump tells...
The actual real life president of the United States of America told the Future Farmers of America Convention that the worst thing to happen...
Trump wears tinfoil hat to stop Obama hearing his thoughts…
President Donald J. Trump has come up with an ingenious solution to prevent Obama from ‘spying on his thoughts’. He now wears a tinfoil...
Brexiter fury as Europe steals patented British Divide and Conquer negotiating strategy
Brexiters across this once mighty country were swearing into their fry ups this morning with the discovery the EU has a negotiating strategy.
"It's just...
Quackpot fundamentalist and friend of dictators finally canonised by paedophiles
Mother Theresa of Calcutta became Saint Theresa yesterday in a small ceremony in the Vatican. Saint Theresa, who passed through Rochdale on her way...
Turning Trump off and on again doesn’t seem to have done any good
The White House Head of IT has expressed his heightened concern that the Presidency could be heading for a critical outage.
Head of IT Maurice...
