Black people in England 8.2 times more likely to accidentally run into police truncheons...
Priti Patel today confirmed that the Black Lives Matter movement is a protest about American racism that has nothing to do with England. The...
Twitter activists shocked that hashtags haven’t eliminated police violence
More than two years after the fatal shooting of teenager Michael Brown, which led to widespread protests against police brutality across the U.S., many...
Heroic arsonist awarded posthumous bravery medal for putting out fire
A heroic self-admitted arsonist in Northern Ireland has been awarded a posthumous medal for bravery after spending half a lifetime putting out suspicious looking...
Trump Outraged To Learn of Invention of Phonograph
Taking to Twitter, So Called President Trump rounded on critics of his
administration within the media, and their underhand strategy of recording stuff.
"Edison fake American....
Spain Says ‘Direct Rule Impossible’ after Entire Catalan Population Hides
Spanish Prime-Minister Marion Rajoy has tonight been unable to suspend the Catalonian Parliament after their leader along with the rest of the population went...
Boy Scouts of America deny meeting Donald Trump
The Boy Scouts of America have issued a statement denying meeting Donald Trump.
“It never happened. It's fake news folks.” The statement begins.
“Only a sick,...
Four horsemen of the modern apocalypse revealed to be Fire, Fury, Sad and Fake
In a move designed to drag them kicking and screaming into the new era, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are to be retired...
David Cameron becomes Hero of the Russian Federation
The Kremlin announced today that David Cameron is to be recognised as a Hero of the Russian Federation, the highest honour that can be...
Not being liked by Vladimir Putin IS natural causes, confirms coroner
The UK police have admitted that perhaps they had jumped to a hasty conclusion after coroners concluded that a Russian businessman who strangled himself...
God brings Christopher Hitchens back from the dead for ‘shits and giggles’
Deceased intellectual and prominent atheist resurrected by The Almighty 'for a bit of a laugh' following hiatus.
Following what close acquaintances have described as 'a...
Conspiracy theorists concerned nobody might be in charge after all
American conspiracy theorists heads are exploding at an alarming rate as the two main presidential candidates get more and more terrible.
"Up until yesterday I was...
Trump enlists Gary Glitter to play inauguration
There are reports that Donald Trump is struggling to find top acts to perform or present at his inaugural event.
The demagogue was able to...
May to wear codpiece and alpha male pig hormone for Trump meeting
In a bid to protect from pussy grabbing and give the impression of a large penis and aura of dominance, Theresa May will today...
David Brent to sing Equality Street at Trump Inauguration
Following the shock withdrawal of Bruce Springsteen tribute band the B-Street Band from the Trump Inauguration David Brent is thrilled to announce that his band Foregone Conclusion have agreed terms to perform.
We tried democracy and Franco-ly it’s not for us, Spanish government tells voters
The Prime Minister of Spain has told voters that democracy isn't for them and it refuses to recognise the result of a referendum on...
Playboy Bunnies surprised to find Hugh Hefner stiffer than usual
Notorious Bachelor and soft core pornographer Hugh Hefner was pronounced dead this morning at his home, the Playboy Mansion, Los Angeles.
Early reports indicate that...
