I married him for rugged good looks and winning personality claims Melania Trump

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Melania Trump has gone on the record to tell the world that she married Donald Trump not for his money but his rugged good looks, winning personality and his open minded views on immigration.

Just £3 a month will pay for cocaine and child prostitutes for an Oxfam...

A new fundraising campaign from Oxfam appealing to the better nature of child abusers is asking for just £3 a month to pay for...

Yemenis Grateful That Britain Tidying Up Arms Deals

 Ordinary Yemenis have taken a break from being killed by British and American bombs and weapons to thank the British Government for tightening up...

Father Ted to use toy cow to explain perspective to Donald Trump

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It’s hoped that repeatedly asking Donald Trump to examine both the toy cow and the cows visible at varying distances outside of the caravan will cause a lightbulb moment in the dark and empty space that serves as a brain for Donald, but no one is getting their hopes up.

Home Office to open Job Centre and Benefits Office in Migrant Calais Jungle

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There was outrage in the editorial bunker at The Rochdale Herald after one of the editorial team accidentally read an article in the Telegraph. "It...
Scared Office Worker

Stop calling people cocks you dick, White House HR Department tells Anthony Scaramucci

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The White House HR Department has asked their latest recruit Anthony Scaramucci, the new White House Communications Director, to please, please, please stop calling...

Patriotic Brexiteer spends £60M on Singapore homes after saving £60M in UK Corporation Tax

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Patriotic billionaire Brexiteer, Singapore resident and tax exile James Dyson has just bought a £26M bungalow in Singapore weeks after buying a Penthouse in...
Trump Atos

Atos and DWP pronounce Trump unfit for work

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A physical and mental health Atos assessment on US President, Donald J Trump, has conclusively found that he is unfit for work, the DWP...

Trump disappointed Agrabah is nothing like it is in the movie

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The POTUS sent a series of Tweets earlier about his visit to Saudi Arabia, after securing a $110 billion arms deal. The leader of the notoriously...

Emperor Trump appoints frog-faced racist as UK ambassador to US

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In a bold show of complete disregard for the sovereignty of British Parliament, his highness emperor Trump has appointed a well-known and unelected frog-faced...

Melania Trump is nothing like Eva Braun, she didn’t get tits out for money...

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Sean Spicer has put his foot in mouth again today by accidentally drawing comparisons between Hitler's wife, Eva Braun, and the First Lady, Melania...
Christmas

Only 350 High School Shootings left until Christmas

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Children across the United States of America were very excited to learn this morning that it's now officially only 350 school shootings until Christmas. With...
Donald Trump

President Trump’s hairpiece flown over Korean peninsula in B-1 bomber

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It was reported this evening that President Donald Trump’s golden hairpiece has been flown over the Korean peninsula in a B-1 Bomber as a...

Trump Introduces 2020 Presidential Campaign Mascot

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President Trump took to the stage in Nuremberg, Florida, on Saturday in front of a crowd seen from space, to unveil his mascot for...

Americans horrified to learn what the word ‘amendment’ means

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As hillbillies, rednecks and evangelical Christian right wing crackpots continue to celebrate the last thrashings of America's hold on reality with their ongoing support...
Sorry Trump

Donald Trump ‘very sorry’ for accidentally nuking North Carolina

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As the world looked on with intrigue and anticipation at the spat between the USA and North Korea, a horrifying incident occurred. With the...

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