If everyone had nukes we’d all be safe, says Kim Jong-un
Following the awful Las Vegas massacre, the Great Leader of North Korea has barrelled into the ensuing gun control debate. His message came through...
Mary forced to give birth on stable floor after health insurance refuses to cover...
A woman that claims she's about to give birth to the son of God has told the Herald, about how she is being forced...
Donald Trump awarded prestigious Time Magazine Dickhead of the Year Award
Donald Trump has been awarded the Time Magazine prestigious Hitler of the Year Award and is said to be "honoured" by the accolade.
Donald Trump denies allegations he has rigged erections
The allegation was made by Anthony "Fandango" Scaramucci following his removal from post.
The President's former tiny-right-hand man lashed out indiscriminately at his former...
12th Doctor Who to Run for French Presidency
Peter Capaldi AKA The Doctor has expressed an interest in becoming the French President at the next election. The current Timelord who is also...
Crazy bastard calls crazy bastard a crazy bastard
A crazy bastard who works in the White House has accused a former employee of being a crazy bastard.
The crazy bastard apparently "disavowed' the...
US Police Departments to consider offering black suspects running start before shooting them
Following several nights of violence and riots across the United States in response to the death of George Floyd US police departments are said...
Theresa May demands Trial by Combat to avoid EU trade negotiations
Theresa May has taken the unusual decision to demand a trial by combat rather than face the EU over the table at trade negotiations.
She...
UKIP leader calls for Theresa May to resign
UKIP's leader, Vladimir Putin has called on Theresa May to call a General Election to ensure a Government is elected that will push Brexit...
Oh,For f*ck’s Sake Most Commonly Used Phrase Of 2016
Oh, for fuck’s sake said everyone this morning, following reports of more people dying at the hands of total arseholes.
After news broke of the...
Trump defuses “alt facts” row by appointing Humpty Dumpty as Secretary of State for...
US President Donald Trump today moved to defuse the smouldering row over the 'alternative facts' presented by his media counsellor Kellyanne Conway, by appointing fictional Alice-Through-the-Looking-Glass...
We did have a Kermit at protest insist violent alt-left anti-Nazi protestors
The anti-Nazi protestors who were in Charlottesville over the weekend have responded furiously to Donald Trump's remarks this morning releasing a statement which read.
"We...
Trump and Putin fail to beat each other in two hour long rock, paper,...
Presidents Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin met face to face for the first time in public yesterday and went for each other in a...
Trump says crying widow knew what she was getting into when she answered phone
President Donald Trump has responded to criticism that he mishandled a phone call with the grieving widow of an American serviceman killed in an...
Anyone actively calling for a war to be automatically drafted to the front line
Anybody saying there should be a war may be required to put their money where their mouth is in future.
In a new bid to...
I married him for rugged good looks and winning personality claims Melania Trump
Melania Trump has gone on the record to tell the world that she married Donald Trump not for his money but his rugged good looks, winning personality and his open minded views on immigration.
