Trump University launches alternative science course
Donald Trump has announced the launch of a new science course that will be taught at Trump University from September.
The course will feature subject matter...
All your medals belong to us – Says China
As the country basks in the glory of Team GB's second place in the Olympic medal table, China released a press statement saying,
"The People's...
English All Xenophobic Wankers – says Nicola Sturgeon without Hint of Irony
Nicola Sturgeon will today claim that “Godless English Imperial filth” are using Brexit as a “licence for xenophobia” and that the English “are secretly working to not be considered Wankers by absolutely everyone.”
Everybody is an expert all of a sudden, complains Norn Iron
Unusual moment of unity sweeps province.
“Yous, yous only gives a shite if it affects yous,” a spokeswoman said today. “Unless something happens on the...
Campaign to move Calais Jungle migrant Camp to Southend dubbed inhumane
Plans to move the makeshift refugee camp in Calais to Southend were quashed today after a cross party committee called the plans inhumane.
Refugees from...
Putin has confirmed he will run for second term as President of United States
After his self proclaimed "success with that bloated orange puppet" Vladimir Putin has announced that he will seek to control him in a second...
We tried democracy and frankly it’s not for us, Spanish government tells voters
The Prime Minister of Spain has told voters that democracy isn't for them and it refuses to recognise the result of a referendum on...
Teaching children to Zig Zag best way to avoid school shooting fatalities, say NRA
In the wake of yet another mass school shooting in the USA the National Rifle Association have suggested that the tragedy could have been...
World shocked Thailand torturing political prisoners
The world was rocked to the core today after an Amnesty International report revealed that Thailand's military junta, otherwise known as "the government", tortures...
Mike Pence attends Broadway musical by mistake
Vice-President elect Mike Pence was roundly booed after he attended a performance of Broadway musical ‘Hamilton’ entirely by accident.
UN convene emergency meeting over Ant and Dec crisis
The UN is to convene an extraordinary meeting in Geneva later today to discuss the situation following events which unfolded in the UK recently.
The...
NATO leaders issue declaration of unity against Donald Trump
NATO leaders have issued a statement of unity aimed at preserving the alliance against Donald Trump.
One spokesman said, "It may seem strange that we're...
It’s not nepotism it’s just a coincidence he’s my son-in-law says Trump
World breathes a collective sigh of relief as journalist who met Jared Kuschner claims “he should make you feel more comfortable”.
Chilcot stuns world with news that Pope is catholic
Sir John Chilcot has stunned the world by stating again that the Pope is catholic and so it seems is Britain's greatest wartime leader...
Whitehouse denies denying things that were denied last week
The Whitehouse press corps was today left totally baffled by the latest denial issued by a Whitehouse press spokesperson.
The denial was in response to...
Barclays customer sent to Guantanamo after overdraft complaint
A Rochdale man has been kidnapped by US intelligence services and sent to Guantanamo Bay after he complained to his local Barclays Bank about...
