Scandal as Trump attempts to circumvent physical laws
In his bid to become master of the universe, Donald Trump has postulated a new set of axioms about the physical universe as we...
Wales celebrates after spectacular 2016 Darwin Award victory
The population of Wales has been awarded a collective 2016 Darwin Award for its staggering act of self immolation in last year's referendum on...
Pound Hits New High of “20 Bundles of Corn” as USA Adopts Barter System
The US Dollar has been abandoned and the Barter System adopted following Donald Trump's victory in the 2016 US Presidential Election. Fort Knox are...
Nigel farage to accept Russian Government lifetime achievement award in person
Nigel Farage MP (just kidding) is alleged to be thrilled at being awarded the Russian Government's lifetime achievement award.
Zoya Feedosev, Russian envoy to...
Vladimir Putin invites world leaders ’round to mine for drinks and nibbles’
Vladimir Putin has today appealed for calm amid the escalating tension between Russia and the rest of the world, and has invited all current...
Lego let go of Trump
It has been revealed this week that toy manufacturing giants Lego will not produce a figure of president elect Donald Trump.
Many have regarded this...
?Kim Jong Un invents universal cure
The secretive state of North Korea has managed to cure most illnesses from the common cold to cancer, it has been revealed.
Ishit Yu Not,...
Four horsemen of the modern apocalypse revealed to be Fire, Fury, Sad and Fake
In a move designed to drag them kicking and screaming into the new era, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are to be retired...
Canada and Mexico to build border walls if World Bank will fund a lid
The governments of Canada and Mexico reached an historic agreement today to build 50 foot tall walls along their borders with the US on the proviso that the World Bank lends them the money for a lid.
UKIP reveal solution to ‘Irish Problem’
Paul Nuttall revealed UKIP's Irish policy this afternoon and raised more hair than usual.
"It's clear Ireland is a problem as the United Kingdom hurtles...
Mary forced to give birth on stable floor after health insurance refuses to cover...
A woman that claims she's about to give birth to the son of God has told the Herald, about how she is being forced...
Trump demands to see soldier’s long form death certificate
Donald Trump has demanded that the widow of Sgt La David Johnson release his long form death certificate following a row about whether or...
Trump furious to learn Farage isn’t ‘King of England’
President-elect, Donald Trump, learned that Nigel Farage is not the King of England and that the monarch is in fact a female, on an...
Trump recorded saying “Trump Supporters are fat, racist white trash”
‘Rumours that Donald Trump described his legions of supporters as "obese trailer park trash" and "uneducated fucking idiots" are yet to be confirmed.
Children excited it’s only three US defence secretaries until Christmas
Children all across America are giddy with excitement that it is now officially only three US defence secretaries until Christmas morning.
The news comes after...
Half of Trump Supporters Gullible Obese Idiots and the other Half deplorable Racist A-holes...
In the wake of the "scandal" surrounding Hillary Clinton's comments describing half of Trump supporters as a "basket of deplorables", The Rochdale Herald commissioned...




















































