Pathetic spoilt lying child learns lying works both ways

2
A nursery class somewhere in the US was reportedly in turmoil yesterday.  The usual relative calm was shattered by a screaming blubber-baby having a foot...
Angela Merkel

Merkel Pulls Out of EU Security Council Talks as There’s No German Word for...

0
Angela Merkel broke off talks with the EU's British Security Commissioner this week that were about the worsening crisis affecting the free movement of people.

Aung San Suu Kyi surrenders Freedom of Dublin refusing to share the honour with...

0
Burmese leader Aung San Suu Kyi has given up her Freedom of the city of Dublin in protest at sharing the distinction with Bono,...
Trump Idiotic

I thought they would be white, sighs Trump

President Trump incensed at travelling half way round the world to meet hostages that were not even white Donald Trump has spoken today of his...
Beekeeper

Beekeeper stung to death after Danish Police force him to remove veil

3
Denmark was in shock today after a Danish beekeeper was stung to death in a tragic apiculture accident in Denmark. The news comes just days...

Intrepid British journalists discover tribe of foreigners who don’t let each other die in...

0
The British media world was stunned today by the discovery of a tribe of non-British humans who actually attempt to save each other after...
Dumpster Fire

Dumpster fires unhappy about comparisons to US Democracy

13
Skip fires around the world have declared they are unhappy with being compared to the US democratic process.

Self-proclaimed ‘bestest dealmaker’ fails to do deal with Bruce Springsteen cover band

0
Idiots across America who voted for Trump because he told them he was really good at doing deals are surprised by the news he hasn't been able to do a deal with a Bruce Springsteen tribute band.
Leopard print shoes

Hard Core Fans Dismayed as PJ Harvey Admires Theresa May’s Shoes

Hardcore fans of uncompromising musician Polly Jean (PJ) Harvey have reacted angrily to their musical idol expressing admiration for Prime Minister Theresa Mary May's...

US celebrates after number of days so far this year overtakes number of mass...

0
Americans across America are celebrating the fact that for the first time since the invention of calendars there have been more days in the...

May to appeal to Supreme Court ruling at European Court of Justice

5
In a move that has thoroughly confused political observers, Theresa May has instructed the Attorney General to appeal today's Supreme Court judgement on Article...
Donald Trump

Trump to remove all right-wing terrorists from FBI watch-list in Operation Anti-Schindler

0
Donald Trump had been criticised by many for not denouncing the actions of the right-wing protests in Charlottesville. Then he declared there were people...

US Closes Wardrobe Border Travel Bans on Narnians and Radical Followers of Aslan

1
President Donald Trump last night signed an Executive Order immediately banning "followers of Aslan" from entering the US.  This will instantly affect talking beavers, centaurs...
Nuttall

Paul Nuttall admits to FBI he passed US nuclear secrets to Russia

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Paul Nuttall has sensationally admitted to the FBI that he passed US military secrets to Russia. In a statement to the FBI Mr Nuttall admitted delivering...

Outrage in Rochdale as taxi drivers no longer legally required to speak English

Rochdale residents will have to scrub up their language skills because as of Friday taxi drivers in the city are no longer legally required...
Dinosaur Meteor

Dinosaurs deny existence of meteorite impact assessment

0
The dinosaurs today issued a statement in response to the challenge that they release their assessment on what would happen if the planet was...

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