Angela Merkel to meet Theresa May to tell her to fuck off in person
Following historic meetings with world leaders such as Carwyn Jones and Nicola Sturgeon during her first week as British Prime Minister Theresa is set...
Kavanaugh to celebrate Supreme Court confirmation with White House keg party
Newly-appointed Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh will celebrate his confirmation later today by throwing a massive kegger at the White House, sources have confirmed.
Kavanaugh, whose nomination...
Donald Trump thrilled Belfast is throwing a parade for him
Donald Trump has taken time out of his busy schedule to tell reporters that he is thrilled that the people of Belfast have held...
Vladimir Putin wins Great Russian Bake-off after other contestants fall ill
Vladimir Putin has won the Russian version of Celebrity Great British Bake-off after all the other contestants sadly died in tragic but mysterious circumstances.
Mr...
President of The United States looking forward to meeting Donald Trump
Russian officials have confirmed that Vladimir Putin is looking forward to meeting Donald Trump in Helsinki next month.
One told us, "The President is looking...
ISIS narrowly beats Halloween and Presidential election in annual scary competition
This year's annual scary competition is still a 3 horsemen of the apocalypse race in it's closing stages.
Gun reform fever sweeps America after social media backing for ELC mandatory insurance bill
After millions of tweets by gun lobbyists, alt righters and other winners at life, Congress has responded with draft gun reform proposals.
Some...
Concern mounts that US teachers are stockpiling weapons of maths instruction
Deliverable weapons of maths instruction in the hands of a school or tuition network, or the two working together constitutes as grave a threat...
Theresa May admits using ‘BREXOMATHICS’ to calculate number of overstaying foreign students
"It's so simple, you take a real number and keep doubling it until everyone's eyes light up," explained May pointing out that it worked...
Terrorists ‘disappointed’ to be rewarded with 72 vegans in heaven
Typographical error blamed for afterlife reward mix-up
The five jihadists involved in last Saturday's Spanish terror attack have expressed 'disappointment' upon receiving the heavenly reward...
Putin sacks head of US State Department Rex Tillerson
WASHINGTON - The leader of the United States, President Vladimir Putin, announced Tuesday morning that he had fired his Secretary State Rex Tillerson and...
ISIS win the war by leaving passports at home
America, Russia and the United Nations admitted defeat earlier today and proclaimed ISIS the winners of the global holy war.
President elect Trump has already...
Patriotic Brexiteer spends £60M on Singapore homes after saving £60M in UK Corporation Tax
Patriotic billionaire Brexiteer, Singapore resident and tax exile James Dyson has just bought a £26M bungalow in Singapore weeks after buying a Penthouse in...
Elon Musk offers POTUS a ticket to ride his rocket
Sources close to the White House have revealed that Elon Musk has today offered Donald Trump a ride on the next Falcon Heavy rocket.
The...
Trump Introduces 2020 Presidential Campaign Mascot
President Trump took to the stage in Nuremberg, Florida, on Saturday in front of a crowd seen from space, to unveil his mascot for...
Lego let go of Trump
It has been revealed this week that toy manufacturing giants Lego will not produce a figure of president elect Donald Trump.
Many have regarded this...
