Barack Obama to narrate Audible version of Fire and Fury

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Barack Obama is to narrate the Audible version of US best-selling book, Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House. It's alleged that Mr Obama...

Monkey spanking decriminalised in Italy

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A man known only as Pietro L was charged with a public disorder offence earlier this year after being caught choking his chorizo on...
Donald Genius Trump

Fat bottomed ape learns to mimic human sounds

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Washington DC - A seventy year primitive primate that can mimic human words such as hello, bigly, braggadocios, and covfefe is thought to be...

Donald Trump is a twat, confirm G6 leaders

Leader's of the G6 have agreed on the text of a communique officially declaring that Donald Trump is a twat. One spokesperson said, "It's been...

Election Was Rigged Claims Trump – Recount Demanded

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Donald Trump has sensationally claimed that the 2016 US Presidential Election was rigged and he is demanding a recount.
Golden eagle

Birds of Prey sue rock band the Eagles

In a landmark case the popular American rock band The Eagles are being sued by a flock of birds for use of the band's...
Boris Johnson

Britain threatens Russia with visit from Boris Johnson

There were extraordinary scenes in Parliament today as Boris Johnson spoke about the suspected poisoning of Sergei Skripal. Mr Johnson said, "If Russian involvement is...
Putin

Vladimir Putin wins Great Russian Bake-off after other contestants fall ill

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Vladimir Putin has won the Russian version of Celebrity Great British Bake-off after all the other contestants sadly died in tragic but mysterious circumstances. Mr...

Gassing orphans is wrong says woman who prefers to starve them

Theresa May's regime has roundly condemned the Assad Regime's actions in Syria by saying it was wrong to use Sarin Gas on orphaned children. "It...
Man with shocked face

Trump appoints David Duke to head Black Lives Don’t Matter initiative

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Dr David Duke, former Grand Dragon of the Ku Klux Klan, Senate hopeful and all American Nazi Screwball, has accepted President Elect Donald Trump’s offer of a key advisory role in his new government.
Nuclear Bomb

Only a good guy with a nuclear weapon can stop a bad guy with...

The only way to stop a bad guy with a nuclear weapon is a good guy with a nuclear weapon. That's according to the...

Russian spies were visiting world famous Dutch ski resorts

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A group of alleged Russian spies who were apprehended in Holland have said they were there learning to ski on the world famous Dutch...

Abu Hamza to be welcomed back to the UK with State Visit

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Hate preacher Abu Hamza has been invited to a State Visit after Number 10 revealed that they are widening the scope of the unsavoury...

Colombia fears double dip recession following death of Tara Palmer-Tomkinson

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Government officials in Colombia have issued warnings of a double dip recession following the death of former "it girl" Tara Palmer-Tomkinson. Former socialite and...

12th Doctor Who to Run for French Presidency 

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Peter Capaldi AKA The Doctor has expressed an interest in becoming the French President at the next election. The current Timelord who is also...

Oh,For f*ck’s Sake Most Commonly Used Phrase Of 2016

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Oh, for fuck’s sake said everyone this morning, following reports of more people dying at the hands of total arseholes.  After news broke of the...

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