Quantum Leap

Dr Samuel Beckett stuck in 2016 after failing to ‘put right what once went...

15
In the mid 1990's Physicist Dr Samuel Beckett blazed a trail by stepping into his Quantum Leap accelerator and vanishing. In actual fact he woke to...
Police

US Police Report Record Start to Season After “Glorious Twelfth”

0
US Police are have reported a record start to the Season after the traditional start to the Civilian Shooting Season with Tulsa leading the...

Latin America overdoses on Irony as CIA complains Russia rigged US election

1
Thousands of people are feared dead in Central and Latin America this week after literally laughing their heads off at the news that the...

Father Ted to use toy cow to explain perspective to Donald Trump

0
It’s hoped that repeatedly asking Donald Trump to examine both the toy cow and the cows visible at varying distances outside of the caravan will cause a lightbulb moment in the dark and empty space that serves as a brain for Donald, but no one is getting their hopes up.

Trump University launches alternative science course

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Donald Trump has announced the launch of a new science course that will be taught at Trump University from September. The course will feature subject matter...

Americans relieved to learn shooter was atheist

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Concerned Americans were today relieved to hear that the Texas shooting was carried out by a human rights supporting atheist. Initially, US citizens were horrified...

Trump rage over #takeafinger protests

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Donald Trump has demanded "they fire these sons of bitches" over the growing #takeafinger protests. A woman pictured raising her middle finger toward Trump's motorcade...

Trump Team Dismiss 9 Year-Old ‘Body Swap’ Claims

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A spokesperson for Donald Trump has described as “absurd” claims being made by a Wisconsin couple that the President-elect is actually their 9 year-old son.  Mike and...
Wayne La Pierre

Only a good guy with a knife can stop a bad guy with a...

0
The Head of the National Cutlery Association, Wayne La Cuillère, has lashed out at Donald Trump on Twitter this afternoon, after the US President...

Confederates, KKK and slave owners outraged by Appointment of Jeff Sessions to Attorney General

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Confederates, slave owners and prominent members of the Ku Klux Klan have taken to Facebook to condemn Trump's nomination of Jeff Sessions to the office of Attorney General.
Obi Wan Kenobi

‘What happened on Alderaan was terrible but I condemn the violence done by all...

7
Obi Wan Kenobi, under pressure from Yoda and other members of the ghost Jedi Council to condemn the destruction of Alderaan, has issued a...

Expat Moans About EU Citizens in UK

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A British expat has hailed Parliament's rejection of EU citizens' right to stay in the UK post Brexit. Speaking from beside his swimming pool at...

Denmark offers to buy America from Russia

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Mette Frederiksen, the Prime Minister of Denmark has reportedly expressed an interest in buying the Russian controlled territory of the United States of America. Rich...
FBI

There was nothing to tip us off about that bloke who bought 33 guns...

1
The FBI have reiterated that there were absolutely no clues that a bloke who bought thirty three semi-automatic rifles in one year might have...
Trump Supporters

Trump recorded saying “Trump Supporters are fat, racist white trash”

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‘Rumours that Donald Trump described his legions of supporters as "obese trailer park trash" and "uneducated fucking idiots" are yet to be confirmed.

Robert E Lee statue replaced by bronze of obese man on mobility scooter holding...

2
“How would you stage a cavalry charge with a bunch of trucks?” Prof A Lither of Charlottesville wanted to know. “You’d have whiny little left wing cuckold snowflake hippy vegetarians complaining about the damage to the grass before you so much as made it across the field and into the unarmed ranks of the alt-left fanatics.

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