It’s not nepotism it’s just a coincidence he’s my son-in-law says Trump

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World breathes a collective sigh of relief as journalist who met Jared Kuschner claims “he should make you feel more comfortable”.

A country full of religious crackpots shouldn’t have nuclear weapons, says country full of...

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A country full of religious crackpots and nuclear weapons has condemned another country full of religious crackpots for pressing on with their nuclear programme. Hassan Rouhani, the President of Iran, has spoken to The Rochdale...
Donald Trump

Trump attends Paris Armistice commemoration after hearing there is a golf course nearby

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POTATUS has attended an Armistice commemoration in Paris a day after demonstrating the sort of spirit that has earned him the nickname, Cadet Bone Spurs. POTATUS failed to attend a commemoration for US war dead...

May to wear codpiece and alpha male pig hormone for Trump meeting

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In a bid to protect from pussy grabbing and give the impression of a large penis and aura of dominance, Theresa May will today be dressing to impress. Heads will certainly roll, turn I mean...

Robert E Lee statue replaced by bronze of obese man in pickup truck holding...

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The move comes in order to calm social tensions enraged over the weekend when the savage alt-left attacked a group of peaceful demonstrators merely having a walk with some torches and flags to highlight the importance of freedom of speech.

Terrorists ‘disappointed’ to be rewarded with 72 vegans in heaven

Typographical error blamed for afterlife reward mix-up The five jihadists involved in last Saturday's Spanish terror attack have expressed 'disappointment' upon receiving the heavenly reward of their heroic martyrdom of 72 vegans upon entering paradise...

Kennedy files reveal he is definitely dead

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The publication of nearly 3,000 previously classified files relating to the assassination of John F Kennedy in 1963 reveals that the former US President is definitely dead. You can read the newly released documents here. The...

Donald Trump hires Hugo Boss to design new ‘Cabinet Uniform’

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The controversial decision to hire Hugo Boss was openly discussed by The President-elect, Donald J. Trump, on Good Morning America yesterday during a catwalk segment. When asked about his favourite clothing label, Mr. Trump, apparently...

President Trump’s half-brother assassinated in Kuala Lumpur

In a shocking announcement from Malayasia, official sources have revealed that President Donald Trump's half-brother has been assassinated at Kuala Lumpur Airport. According to local TV reports, Mr Trump's older brother, Fred, was killed at the airport by...
Cyclist in rain

Prize boffin apparently unaware of weather

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The winner of this year's Dyson James Dyson Boffin Admired By Dyson's James Dyson Award, is Isis. No, not the naughty middle eastern twerps, a boffin whose name is Isis Schiffer. Ira, sorry I mean Isis,...

UK border agency given right to conduct posthumous deportations

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The UK border agency has been given the green light to start deporting the interred remains of people not born in the UK, a spokesman for the Agency confirmed to the Rochdale Herald Monday. The...

Theresa May summons devil to discuss Syria

The prime minister has summoned the devil to discuss the government's response to a suspected chemical weapons attack in Syria. They are expected to discuss the options for military action being considered by America and...

Having dodgy dealings with corrupt foreign dictators is only bad when Hillary does it,...

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Having Dodgy dealings with corrupt foreign dictators is only a bad thing when it is done by the likes of Hillary Clinton, Fox News announced today. In their official statement, Fox News stated categorically that...

Trump presidency result of Putin prank phone call

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Russian President and superstar house elf, Vladimir Putin, has revealed that the whole Trump/Russia thing is a prank that went too far. "Trump come to us and say I spy for you and you win...
Sorry Trump

Trump condemns dead soldier for not standing during national anthem

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President Donald Trump has rebuked allegations of inappropriate comments made by the grieving widow of a US soldier today by pointing out her husband didn’t stand for the national anthem. Myeshia Johnson, widow of Sgt...

Texas commemorates first mass shooting by giving students guns to take to school

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To celebrate the 50th anniversary of the world's inaugural mass shooting event at the University of Austin in Texas law makers have passed a very special law to mark the occasion. On August 2nd 1966...

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