Trump Toilet Seat

President Trump ‘leaves toilet seat up’ claims explosive new book

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Washington has been shocked by a controversial new book which claims that, on occasion, President Trump forgets to put the toilet seat down. The...
Gun held in front of American flag

Fatal logic feedback loop kills five more Americans

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America has once again been proved right as yet another mass shooting takes place in shopping mall and nobody armed inside could shoot the...

Theresa May says alcohol and poor judgement to blame for Trump state visit

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Theresa May has been responding to calls to cancel the Trump state visit during a press conference today. Responding to criticism that the invitation for...

Donald Trump appoints Doogie Howser M.D. Coronavirus Czar

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POTAUS Donald Trump has announced the creation of a Coronavirus Czar charged with coordinating the US's response to Coronavirus. He revealed that Doogie Howser...
Nuclear Bomb

Only a good guy with a nuclear weapon can stop a bad guy with...

The only way to stop a bad guy with a nuclear weapon is a good guy with a nuclear weapon. That's according to the...
Tony Montana

Tony Montana to become new White House communications director

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Tony Montana is set to become White House communications director following the sacking of Anthony Scaramucci today. Mr Montana was last seen toting M16A1 guns...

Netanyahu accidentally condemns use of phosphorous based weapons on children

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This week video footage of a possible chemical weapons attack on civilians, including children has emerged.  The footage shows men and children frothing at the mouth, whilst...

Gun reform fever sweeps America after social media backing for ELC mandatory insurance bill

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After millions of tweets by gun lobbyists, alt righters and other winners at life, Congress has responded with draft gun reform proposals. Some...
Angry Man

UK to mobilise army of “social media warriors” to protect Gibraltar

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With no aircraft carriers and military resources already overstretched in Afghanistan, the Ministry of Defence has announced that it is calling up the UK's "third force"...
Donald Trump

Trump tells CNN all future press conferences will be held in Saudi Embassy

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POTATUS has announced that he will begin to give CNN press conferences in Saudi Embassies from now on. The announcement comes as his administration complained...
@bluebeany

UK Customs replace “Nothing to declare” signs with “Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter...

Following the news that Boris Johnson has been elected Prime Minister UK Customs officials have decided to replace all the 'Nothing to Declare' signs...

Over-exaggerating totally different to lying your arse off

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Swimmer and US gold medal winning bullshitter, Ryan Lochte, has sort of apologised for making things up. The lying git said that his description of...

People attending reading of Hefner’s last will only doing so for the articles

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Various well known public figures, and nobodies, have announced today they intend to be at the reading of Hugh Hefner’s last will and testament,...
Dinosaur Meteor

Dinosaurs deny existence of meteorite impact assessment

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The dinosaurs today issued a statement in response to the challenge that they release their assessment on what would happen if the planet was...
Donald Trump Wig

‘News media so fake’ says perma-tanned, toupee-wearing septuagenarian

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The world's favourite orange leader has been ranting about his pet hate once again. The issue of so-called “Fake news” is now well within...
Christmas

Only 350 High School Shootings left until Christmas

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Children across the United States of America were very excited to learn this morning that it's now officially only 350 school shootings until Christmas. With...

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