Sinn Fein election observer confirms Venezuelan blowjobs, cocaine and elections are best in world
"I've had my share of blowjobs," confirms Jarry Odoms, mouthpiece of Sinn Fein. "But nobody does erections, I mean elections, like the Venezuelans. Now...
Donald Trump Is Disappearing Up His Own Arse
American scientists confirmed last night that US President, Donald Trump, is close to completely disappearing up his own arse.
Professor Steven Sigmoid...
OJ Simpson appointed White House press secretary
Tongues are wagging in Washington today over what seems too convenient for coincidence as OJ Simpson is rumoured about to be appointed as Sean...
Putin sacks head of US State Department Rex Tillerson
WASHINGTON - The leader of the United States, President Vladimir Putin, announced Tuesday morning that he had fired his Secretary State Rex Tillerson and...
Election Was Rigged Claims Trump – Recount Demanded
Donald Trump has sensationally claimed that the 2016 US Presidential Election was rigged and he is demanding a recount.
Trump All Mexicans To Do Pinata National Service
US President Donald Trump has signed an Executive Order forcing all US Mexican citizens to be Piñata at white children's Birthday Parties.
The "Piñata National...
Worst thing to happen in America today was my hair got wet, Trump tells...
The actual real life president of the United States of America told the Future Farmers of America Convention that the worst thing to happen...
ISIS withdraw from Iraq after Blair’s return to politics announcement
Tony Blair yesterday announced that he intended to fill a massive hole and that after that he'd return to British politics.
In an interview he...
Fat People Rejoice as America Turns Into a Parody of Itself
Scenes of wild jubilation, gunfire and a surfeit of 'Go Large Burgers with Extra Fries' greeted the overnight transformation of the United States of...
Melania did not have sex with horrible old men for money admits Daily Mail
The Daily Mail have gone on the record today to say that Melania Trump did not and never has had sex with any horrible...
Trump to celebrate Father’s Day by bathing in the tears of abducted child immigrants
US President Donald Trump is to celebrate his second Father's Day in the White House by having a bath filled with the tears of...
Argentina offers to invade Falklands Islands for £1B if that will help May?
A man claiming to represent Argentina has allegedly phoned the British prime minister and said for £1 billion they will pretend to invade the...
Canadian Diver Finds America’s Lost “Self Respect”
A commercial diver may have discovered the lost & decommissioned US “Self Respect” off the coast of Canada.
I married him for rugged good looks and winning personality claims Melania Trump
Melania Trump has gone on the record to tell the world that she married Donald Trump not for his money but his rugged good looks, winning personality and his open minded views on immigration.
Russian presidential candidates have families safely returned in wake of Putin’s re-election
The families of all seven Russian Presidential candidates have been returned safely after the totally unexpected landslide victory for Vladimir Putin.
Today Vladimir Putin has...
UK Customs replace “Nothing to declare” signs with “Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter...
Following the news that Boris Johnson has been elected Prime Minister UK Customs officials have decided to replace all the 'Nothing to Declare' signs...
