Angela Merkel to meet Theresa May to tell her to piss off in person
Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor, is due to meet with Theresa May later today to spit in her face and tell her to piss...
UN convene emergency meeting over Ant and Dec crisis
The UN is to convene an extraordinary meeting in Geneva later today to discuss the situation following events which unfolded in the UK recently.
The...
You lot all look the same to me, Jeremy Hunt tells wife and Chinese...
The UK's new foreign secretary Jeremy Hunt admitted yesterday that he can't tell his wife apart from the Chinese Foreign Minister because they both...
Former military cadet fulfils lifelong ambition to visit Vietnam despite agonisingly debilitating bonespurs
A former military cadet has finally fulfilled his dream to visit Vietnam despite suffering from debilitating bonespurs.
The man, now in his seventies, is said...
Collective relief as travel ban doesn’t apply to celebrity Muslims
People across Facebook and the Twittersphere have taken a collective sigh of relief online today at the announcement Trump's travel ban from people travelling...
Trump and Steve Bannon to wrestle naked for alt-right leadership
It has emerged that President Donald Trump and Breitbart Chief Steve Bannon have apparently arranged to wrestle naked on the White House South Lawn...
UK “unsafe” says Trump as British Armed Police “Worst in the World”
Donald Trump has declared Britain "unsafe for US Citizens" as the UK Armed Police have been named the worst in the World on the...
Why does this keep happening, asks country selling guns without doing background checks
A country who sells weapons over the counter to anybody who wants one is stumped at how it can be home to so many...
Trump Team Dismiss 9 Year-Old ‘Body Swap’ Claims
A spokesperson for Donald Trump has described as “absurd” claims being made by a Wisconsin couple that the President-elect is actually their 9 year-old son.
Mike and...
Biff Tannen secures Republican Party presidential nomination
The world was horrified but not terribly surprised to discover this morning that professional gambler and self-styled American oligarch Biff Tannen secured the US...
Russian Government Denies Hacking Rochdale Herald
The Russian Government has reacted angrily towards allegations that it was responsible for hacking UK news site The Rochdale Herald. The Herald, which is...
Trump condemns dead soldier for not standing during national anthem
President Donald Trump has rebuked allegations of inappropriate comments made by the grieving widow of a US soldier today by pointing out her husband...
“We’re looking forward to getting out” say nuclear weapons.
Nuclear weapons all over the world are today looking forward to their upcoming launch as an opportunity to stretch their legs.
With launch codes about...
Clinton Email Cache Found in Historic Exeter Hotel
The American election process was thrown into confusion yesterday when the FBI moved into the Royal Clarence Hotel, Exeter, in search of a hidden...
EU offers bribe of better UK weather if we remain
The European Union, desperate for the UK to remain, have said that the proposed European Standard Weather system due to come into operation early...
Merkel Pulls Out of EU Security Council Talks as There’s No German Word for...
Angela Merkel broke off talks with the EU's British Security Commissioner this week that were about the worsening crisis affecting the free movement of people.
