White Supremes

Tribute band ‘The White Supremes’ enjoying huge boost in bookings

The rising tensions in America have led to violent clashes in the streets of late, which has caused the tragic loss of life. The “Alt-right” hate-mongers and terrorists are being supported by none other...

Car bombs not as bad as nicking stationery insists Martin ‘I’m a politician’ McGuiness

Former number three in the Irish presidential election Seamus Martin Pointa McGuinness has resigned from his position as Deputy First Minister of Northern Ireland. The resignation comes after the DUP repeatedly took more than their...
Kim Jong Un Submarine

North Korea won’t be happy until someone else tests a nuclear warhead on their...

North Korea state media shouted the revelation this morning that Kim Jong-un won’t be happy until someone else tests a nuclear warhead on North Korean territory. It’s thought the revelation was made because Kim is...

Trump to surprise himself with another Trump portrait for Valentine’s Day

In another sign of his commitment to his relationship with himself Trump has commissioned another portrait of himself as a surprise Valentine's gift to himself. The painting took a while to get right. He had...

God refuses to put out Notre Dame fire until he gets 100,000 likes =...

The 14th century cathedral has already lost one of its spires and a large section of roof in the blaze after a fire broke out around 18:00 this evening. Hundreds of thousands of Catholics around...
Donald Trump

Trump turns down White House sexual harassment course because ‘I’m already pretty good at...

News broke this morning that Donald Trump has turned down an offer from the White House human resources department to attend a special course on sexual harassment citing that he is already pretty damn...
Angela Merkel

Angela Merkel to meet Theresa May to tell her to piss off in person

Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor, is due to meet with Theresa May later today to spit in her face and tell her to piss off in person. Theresa May is said to be very excited...

It’s not nepotism it’s just a coincidence he’s my son-in-law says Trump

World breathes a collective sigh of relief as journalist who met Jared Kuschner claims “he should make you feel more comfortable”.
Steve Bannon

Crazy bastard calls crazy bastard a crazy bastard

A crazy bastard who works in the White House has accused a former employee of being a crazy bastard. The crazy bastard apparently "disavowed' the crazy bastard after he was quoted in a new book...

Dyson vacuum cleaners issue blanket denial of Trump wiretap allegations

UK based vacuum cleaner and household electronics company Dyson has no involvement whatsoever in spying on US President Donald Trump, sources close to the company confirmed to The Rochdale Herald. The source categorically denied allegations...

Melania Trump faces criticism for wearing “Exterminate” t-shirt to Holocaust Memorial

Melania Trump is faces yet more criticism today after wearing a Dalek’s t-shirt during a visit to the Holocaust Memorial in Berlin.
Donald Genius Trump

Fat bottomed ape learns to mimic human sounds

Washington DC - A seventy year primitive primate that can mimic human words such as hello, bigly, braggadocios, and covfefe is thought to be the first of its kind to be elected to the...

Canada recognises the Alamo as capital of Mexico

Donald Trump has given a calm and measured response to news that Canada intends to move it's Mexican embassy to the Alamo. Just kidding. Trump was furious at the announcement by Justin Trudeau's Government that...

Beekeeper stung to death after Danish police force her to remove veil

Denmark was in shock today after a Danish beekeeper was stung to death in a tragic apiculture accident in Denmark. The news comes just days after Marie Abeille was arrested by the Secret Police for...

Police fear French blogger killed in whipped cream accident may have topped herself

The international irony reservoir was overflowing this week as news came through that French lifestyle and fitness blogger, Becky Fromage-Burger, was slain in her own kitchen. Mlle. Fromage-Burger, who is renowned for appearing on the...

Mike Pence attends Broadway musical by mistake

Vice-President elect Mike Pence was roundly booed after he attended a performance of Broadway musical ‘Hamilton’ entirely by accident.

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