International News

President Donald Trump last night signed an Executive Order immediately banning "followers of Aslan" from entering the US.  This will instantly affect talking beavers, centaurs and ice queens, though Kellyanne Conway has secured an exemption. The...

Washington - The actual real life President of the United States of America Donald J Trump has cleared up speculation over the weekend about what his middle name is. The leader of the free world...

Idiots across America who voted for Trump because he told them he was really good at doing deals are surprised by the news he hasn't been able to do a deal with a Bruce Springsteen tribute band.

Donald Trump has demanded that the widow of Sgt La David Johnson release his long form death certificate following a row about whether or not Donald believes her that her husband is actually dead. Donald,...

The President went on to suggest North Korea would be much safer if it followed the example of America and gave its citizens toys to play with and flags to wave like the patriots in Charlottesville yesterday.

Targeted strikes destroy invoices, with only minor collateral damage to Syrian accountants. RAF Bomber Command confirmed the series of raids sanctioned by the May government had achieved mission success. The hastily sanctioned mission scrambled to...

President Donald Trump took to the skies over Washington today in a giant, orange blimp. The President is believed to have made the decision in keeping with his campaign promise to never stop surprising...

Julian Assange has explained that he is happy to be awarded FSB's employee of the month for July award. The Russian secret service organisation said in a statement, "Wikileaks and Mr Assange have been most...

World leaders have rushed to hail the Dutch general election as the turning point in the history of civilisation. With the rising tide of global populism, the election of Donald Duck as United States...

The secretive state of North Korea has managed to cure most illnesses from the common cold to cancer, it has been revealed. Ishit Yu Not, a 33-year-old North Korean doctor with a gun to his...

"I've had my share of blowjobs," confirms Jarry Odoms, mouthpiece of Sinn Fein. "But nobody does erections, I mean elections, like the Venezuelans. Now Martin McGuinness, he sucked. Really sucked. But the Venezuelans are...

Australian Prime Minister, Malcolm Turnbull, has left the G20 Summit with what he called a "stupendous new deal". After much grovelling to British Prime Minister, Theresa May, Mr Turnbull stated,  "When Britain leaves the EU...

Far right stringless Thunderbird puppet and multi-millionaire Dulwich educated ex-banker and man of the people Nigel Farage reportedly bought the middle class toffees straight after the newly elected despot Donald J. Trump's controversial Tweet...

In his bid to become master of the universe, Donald Trump has postulated a new set of axioms about the physical universe as we know it. During his combined groundbreaking physics lecture and presidential...

A Rochdale man has become the first Rochdale resident to go into space. Ted Skeat, 48 achieved the feat by tailgating a Tesla car on the back of a rocket Elon Musk sent into space...