Trump finds Rory McIlroy’s head in bed after throwing Koch off Golf Course

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President-Elect Donald Trump has denied evicting the proper billionaire, libertarian gun nut and political financier behind the Tea Party, David Koch, from his exclusive...
Donald Trump

All options on table including surprise missile attack on Tuesday, Trump tells Syria on...

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Actual real-life president of the United States of America Donald Trump has tweeted that Russia and Syria should get smart and expect a surprise...

Director of CIA asks Jason Bourne to drop in on Trump for a ‘quiet...

11
The Director of The CIA, John O'Brennan, asked Jason Bourne to pop over to Trump Tower. Following allegations Donald Trump made about the US intelligence...

US announces National Police Shooting League

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Excitement is mounting in the United States ahead of the launch of the National Police Shooting League. 20,000 law enforcement agencies will be competing for...

Trump travel ban extends to Narnia

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President Donald Trump last night signed an Executive Order adding Narnia to the travel ban and immediately excluding "followers of Aslan" from entering the...
Putin Appraisal

Putin gives Trump “requires improvement” rating during annual appraisal meeting

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Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin have sought to deny allegations that President Trump has been awarded a, "requires improvement" rating during his first one...

Trump tells reporters that he’s cured Megadeth

POTATUS, Donald Trump has made a sensational claim that he's cured Megadeth today. In a rambling 4 hour speech Trump said, "You know what's amazing?...
Donald Trump

Germany to face sanctions for failing to help US during D-Day landings

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Donald Trump has today announced a huge package of far reaching sanctions against Germany after discovering that Germany failed to help the US during...

Trump’s Wall to be Made Out of Thoughts and Prayers

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The latest twist in the ongoing farcical shitshow that is the US President's attempt to build an completely pointless wall simply because he said...

NASA announce Kellyanne Conway is not of this world

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NASA has announced it will hold a press conference later this week to reveal new discoveries "of significant importance, "beyond our solar system". The agency...

Britain To Close Controversial Island Refugee Centre

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Britain's oldest island refugee centre, Australia, is to be closed following reports of inhumane conditions and bonkers management. The centre, set up in 1770, has...

The only chemicals you can kills kids with are high explosives and white phosphorus,...

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Following the outcry over the alleged chemical weapons attacks in Syria, the Pentagon have confirmed that the only legal chemicals you can use to...
TRUMP POLE DANCERS

Trump hails Polish culture saying “Pole dancers are the best, I’m a huge fan,...

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US President Donald Trump Thursday attempted to cement US-Polish relations in a speech delivered in the Polish capital Warsaw on the first day of...

Theresa May offers Germany Sunderland

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Theresa May was left visibly irritated this morning when a generous offer to Germany was rejected out of hand. May’s sincere offer, to hand Sunderland over...

US Government admits covering up red alert over imminent asteroid impact

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Scientists and Government sources have confirmed that the giant asteroid, 2016-FI is on course to strike the Northern Hemisphere after initial uncertainty about it's...
Pepe the frog

Meme Jihadis Trump Clinton

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Pepe the frog has admitted today that he was behind the success of Donald Trump in the recent US presidential elections. "Presidential? Fix-a-dential more like!...

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