Trump orders Fabergé selfie-stick for inauguration
In preparation for his inauguration ceremony, President elect Trump has commissioned Fabergé, the esteemed and historic jewellery makers to the Russian emperors, to craft...
Macron wants UK to give him head in return for Bayeux tapestry
Monarchists were today outraged by the suggestion by Emmanuel Macron, President of France, that the severed heads of the British royal family would be...
Sponsorship deal agreed for new Emirates Notre Dame Cathedral
Following the destruction of popular prayer centre Notre Dame Cathedral, the Pope and President Macron jointly announced today that the gothic edifice would be...
Only a good guy with a knife can stop a bad guy with a...
The Head of the National Cutlery Association, Wayne La Cuillère, has lashed out at Donald Trump on Twitter this afternoon, after the US President...
Department of Justice confirms that Trump will be tried as an adult
The Department of Justice has confirmed that if and when Donald Trump is indicted for colluding with Russia during the 2016 Presidential election he...
Concern mounts that US teachers are stockpiling weapons of maths instruction
Deliverable weapons of maths instruction in the hands of a school or tuition network, or the two working together constitutes as grave a threat...
Trump Replaces White House With Blimp
President Donald Trump took to the skies over Washington today in a giant, orange blimp.
The President is believed to have made the decision...
People of Aleppo not quite white enough
European leaders have come together to stress how upset they are that the people of Aleppo have ever so slightly funny coloured skin and...
NASA announce Kellyanne Conway is not of this world
NASA has announced it will hold a press conference later this week to reveal new discoveries "of significant importance, "beyond our solar system".
The agency...
Nuclear Football replaced with state of the art 1979 Speak and Spell
The Secret Service and senior members of the National Security Council have taken drastic steps to toughen US Nuclear launch protocols during Donald Trump's presidency by replacing the Nuclear Football with 1979 Speak and Spell.
Trump voters deface Police posters with Trump stickers
Police Officers in Bumshart Nebrahoma were furious to discover that recruitment posters around the town had been defaced with pictures of Donald Trump.
The multi-million...
Macron roasts Le Swan
Emmanuel Macron last night served up a beautifully roasted swan at his victory dinner. The new French President was celebrating his victory with close...
Trump To Build Ladder To The Moon
President Donald Trump has confirmed that America is to build the world’s first ladder to the Moon.
At a White House press conference Trump stated...
Everybody is an expert all of a sudden, complains Norn Iron
Unusual moment of unity sweeps province.
“Yous, yous only gives a shite if it affects yous,” a spokeswoman said today. “Unless something happens on the...
Notre Dame Cathedral fire caused by unattended Chip pan in bell tower
Parisian fire fighters are currently battling a roaring fire at the Notre Dame cathedral.
The fire has caused one of the medieval spires and a...
Trump enlists Gary Glitter to play inauguration
There are reports that Donald Trump is struggling to find top acts to perform or present at his inaugural event.
The demagogue was able to...
