People of Aleppo not quite white enough

0
European leaders have come together to stress how upset they are that the people of Aleppo have ever so slightly funny coloured skin and...

Liam Fox Seeks Trade Deal With ISIS

International Trade Secretary Liam Fox will fly into Iraq later today in the hope of securing a trade deal with the so-called 'Islamic State'. Fox...

Governor of Puerto Rico seeks Theresa May’s advice on how to rule an island...

6
The Governor of Puerto Rico, Jorge Aliouet sent an urgent appeal to Prime Minotaur Theresa May tonight. The island of Puerto Rico has been devastated...

President Trump to ‘grab May by the pussy’

6
Donald Trump may touch the UK prime minister's vagina in their first private meeting, the president has tweeted. The straw-haired misogynist wrote, "Excited to meet...
Fuck

Seriously?

0
I mean, just....Fuck,  Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck.  A spokesman for minorities everywhere said; "Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck...
Kim Jong-un

Russia and China back UN call for Kim Jong Un to be sent to...

10
The UN has finally received the backing of both Mummy and Daddy as Russia and China backed the call for serious punishment to be...
water cannon

German Police deploy hydration wagons to cool off crowd outside G20 summit

14
Police in Hamburg Germany have deployed Mobile Hydration Wagons in an effort to cool down overheated and thirsty crowds gathered out side the G20...

Malaysian PM offers Greg Wallace out for a scrap over “crispy” rendang remark

Chef John Torode and "diner" Greg Wallace, presenters of BBC's Masterchef, managed to piss the populations of two countries off this week by criticising...

Madame Tussauds new Trump wax work backs out of inauguration

0
Madame Tussauds have declined to exhibit their new Trump wax work at the impending inauguration on Friday. Simon Wick, a spokesman for Tussauds said; "Its nothing...

Twitter activists shocked that hashtags haven’t eliminated police violence

0
More than two years after the fatal shooting of teenager Michael Brown, which led to widespread protests against police brutality across the U.S., many...
Kim Jong Un Submarine

M.A.S.H. theme “Suicide is Painless” to be covered in gangnam style by Kim Jong-un

0
State media sources inside The Democratic People’s Republic of North Korea shouted the news this morning that Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un is to release...

Trump threatens N. Korea with Fire, Fury, Trouser Snake and six other American Gladiators

Following Kim Jong Il's threat to carry out missile strike on US territory, President Trump counters with threat of onslaught by mid-90s kick-ass TV...

Scotch and Revolver sales jump 30,000% during Trump’s inaugural speech

11
Scotch Whiskey and revolver salesman all over the world are in buoyant mood this afternoon after a huge windfall sales extravaganza during President Trump's inaugural address.
Angry

Everybody is an expert all of a sudden, complains Norn Iron

Unusual moment of unity sweeps province. “Yous, yous only gives a shite if it affects yous,” a spokeswoman said today. “Unless something happens on the...

Trump finds Rory McIlroy’s head in bed after throwing Koch off Golf Course

8
President-Elect Donald Trump has denied evicting the proper billionaire, libertarian gun nut and political financier behind the Tea Party, David Koch, from his exclusive...
Donald Trump Jr

Fire at Trump Tower definitely not Donald Trump Jr burning Russia dossier, confirms Donald...

0
New York - There has been more fire and fury today as a blaze at the top of Trump Tower in New York left...

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