White House confirms all its press staff do coke

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The White House has admitted today that all its press staff do coke. The admission comes after the latest mouthpiece for President Trump, Mr Scaramucci,...
Santa

Scandinavian ‘Too Drunk To Stand’ Following Drunk-Sleighing Arrest

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Rochdale magistrates heard how a visitor from Lapland, Mr Nicholas Saint (1,747) created havoc in Rochdale with his erratic control over his team of excitable reindeer pulling a bright red sleigh.

Cheap Nutella latest in long list of things French will riot about

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Sweetened hazelnut cocoa spread joins all the other things the frogs are hopping mad about News broke this week that the French, yes, that lot...

Mike Pence unhappy ‘in transition’

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Vice-President elect Mike Pence is expected to ask Donald Trump to move him to another area after becoming unhappy as part of the incoming Republican’s transition...

Snap Poll Identifies Lee Harvey Oswald As Most Missed American

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A poll conducted worldwide today reveals that over 3.9 billion people named Lee Harvey Oswald as the American they most wish was alive today.  He...

Ryanair cancels all flights to Russia

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Ryanair have announced today that it is cancelling all flights to Russia in 2018. The move that will be affecting almost no Irish passengers between...
Trump Airplane

Carolinians told to evacuate to avoid category 4 Trump visit

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Residents of the US State of Carolina have been warned to evacuate due to the threat of a category 4 visit from Donald Trump. State Governor,...
Home Office

Home Office To Issue Migrants With Wearable Documentation

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EU nationals currently living in the UK will require documents confirming their right to remain in the country post-Brexit, the Home Office has announced. Speaking...
Nuclear Bomb

Only a good guy with a nuclear weapon can stop a bad guy with...

The only way to stop a bad guy with a nuclear weapon is a good guy with a nuclear weapon. That's according to the...
Soldier

U.S. military buys Viagra after being told troops need to “be hard”

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It has emerged this week that the U.S. military spend approximately £63 million annually on the popular medication which aids erectile dysfunction. This baffling...

Specsavers Official Sponsors Of WWIII

Specsavers has announced it has signed a two-year deal as official sponsors of the forthcoming World War Three, with effect from mid November. The company...

Michael Moore to release new ‘Bowling for Bowling Green’ documentary

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The renowned liberal film maker made the announcement on his Facebook page earlier today, stating; "After the huge success of my 2002 film, Bowling for...

Trump’s presidency is ‘metaphorical, not literal’, says Spicer

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Following unsubstantiated wiretapping allegations, president Trump’s press secretary, Sean Spicer, has argued that Trump is the metaphorical president and leader of the free world,...
Putin Appraisal

Trump to meet Putin in Osaka for annual appraisal

The US and Russian Governments have confirmed that Donald Trump's annual appraisal will be held in Helsinki this year on the 28th of June. The...
Freddie Mercury and Brian May

Britain First drop ‘We Will Rock You’ theme on learning Freddie Mercury’s Indian heritage

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In a documentary about the life and death of Freddie Mercury, which recently aired on the biffer TV network, Channel 5, it was pointed out...
Children Running

Teaching children to Zig Zag best way to avoid school shooting fatalities, say NRA

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In the wake of yet another mass school shooting in the USA the National Rifle Association have suggested that the tragedy could have been...

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