Donald Trump ‘very sorry’ for accidentally nuking North Carolina
As the world looked on with intrigue and anticipation at the spat between the USA and North Korea, a horrifying incident occurred.
With the...
Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump to measure micro-willies at summit
Thin-skinned, narcissistic, alternative-reality dwelling clown Donald Trump and "Nuclear" lunatic Kim-Jong Un are to make history by meeting later in the year to engage...
Latin America overdoses on Irony as CIA complains Russia rigged US election
Thousands of people are feared dead in Central and Latin America this week after literally laughing their heads off at the news that the...
Susan Boyle to sing Dead Kennedys ‘Too Drunk To F*ck’ at Trump Inauguration
In a last ditch attempt to find a "celebrity" to perform at Trump's Inauguration Scottish songstress and Britain's Got Talent sensation Susan Boyle (aka...
Latest theory on the structure of the Gregorian calendar revealed.
Following alleged intense research on the part of our Ace reporter, The Rochdale Herald is able to reveal the latest acadamic theory surrounding the...
Trump demands to see soldier’s long form death certificate
Donald Trump has demanded that the widow of Sgt La David Johnson release his long form death certificate following a row about whether or...
Gove calls for post-Brexit legalisation of cannibalism
Former Tory minister and leading Brexit campaigner Michael Gove has called on the government to slash EU regulations on cannibalism which he claims have...
FBI reveals to Trump evidence of a golf course at Chernobyl
The FBI have allegedly revealed the location of a secret golf course in Chernobyl to Donald Trump today.
One FBI spokesman said, "POTATUS was on...
David Cameron becomes Hero of the Russian Federation
The Kremlin announced today that David Cameron is to be recognised as a Hero of the Russian Federation, the highest honour that can be...
Donald Trump calls for a ban on schools after latest US school shooting
So-called 'President' and full-time Twitter troll Donald Trump wants a 'total and complete shutdown' of schools in the US after the Florida School shooting earlier...
Trump insists the audience for his resignation speech will be bigger than Sean Spicers
Donald Trump has insisted that the audience for Sean Spicers resignation speech will be miniscule compared to his own.
Trump tweeted that, "Spicer was a...
Emergency ‘Thoughts and Prayers’ cabinets to be installed in every American classroom by 2020
The US Department of Education has revealed plans to install emergency 'Thoughts and Prayers' cabinets in every school classroom by the year 2020.
The announcement...
Alex Jones discusses the Trump presidency
Good evening. Today I am speaking to Radio host and Bacofoil and batshit salesman, Alex Jones.
Good afternoon, Alex. How are you feeling after Trump's rather...
Outrage as Trump BBQ ruins White House lawn
White House officials were said to be furious today after Trump supporters burned a cross on the South Lawn last night.
The BBQ, which was...
EU offers bribe of better UK weather if we remain
The European Union, desperate for the UK to remain, have said that the proposed European Standard Weather system due to come into operation early...
Lord Lucan, Pol Pot, Martin Borman ,Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi and Boko Haram emerge from...
An entire top shelf of global mass murderers have signalled they plan to emerge from hiding following the announcement by US president Donald trump...
