Space Rocket

Audi driver becomes first in space after tailgating Tesla into orbit

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A Rochdale man has become the first Rochdale resident to go into space. Ted Skeat, 48 achieved the feat by tailgating a Tesla car on...

The United States to allow Guns to be purchased from Vending Machines

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United States, Washington DC - A new bill has been passed in the United States, to allow firearms to be sold from Vending Machines....
Independence Day

Trump leads Independence day celebrations by honouring Goldblum and Smith

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It's the 4th of July national holiday, the anniversary of Independence day in the United States of America. A day when the patriotic celebrate...
Theresa may Trump

Racist right wing nut-job to meet racist right wing nut-job at Downing Street on...

A racist right wing whack-job will meet a racist right wing nut-job when he visits the UK for bilateral talks on July 13th, Downing...

Area 51 to Close Aliens Expelled – Trump Conversation with Galactic Emperor ‘Worst...

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Donald Trump has ordered the closure of Area 51 and the immediate expulsion of all aliens.  During a turbulent conversation with The Galactic Emperor, which...

Awkward moment for Joseph as Jesus gets Ancestry UK DNA testing kit for Christmas

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In what has been described as the most awkward Christmas gift ever; Jesus has been given an Ancestry UK DNA testing kit for Christmas. One...

IOC Vote Against New American Sport in 2020 Olympics

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The USA's hopes to add another pointlessly American sport to the 2020 Olympic have been dashed by the IOC due to concerns over the...

Hammond to Create National Hoard

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In advance of Brexit negotiations Phillip Hammond is to bury all of the country's wealth in a hole in the ground. The hole, believed to...

Barclays customer sent to Guantanamo after overdraft complaint

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A Rochdale man has been kidnapped by US intelligence services and sent to Guantanamo Bay after he complained to his local Barclays Bank about...

Kennedy files reveal he is definitely dead

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The publication of nearly 3,000 previously classified files relating to the assassination of John F Kennedy in 1963 reveals that the former US President...
Trump

People no longer surprised when Trump acts like a dick again

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The repeated outbursts of hatemongering, sabre-rattling or just plain stupidity, emanating from the lips, press statements or usually the tweets, of Donald Trump, have...

Terrorists ‘disappointed’ to be rewarded with 72 vegans in heaven

Typographical error blamed for afterlife reward mix-up The five jihadists involved in last Saturday's Spanish terror attack have expressed 'disappointment' upon receiving the heavenly reward...

Bands line up to celebrate Trump’s impeachment

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The Rochdale Herald can exclusively reveal the star studded line up already in place for celebrating the impeachment of Donald Trump, expected to take...

Malaysian PM offers Greg Wallace out for a scrap over “crispy” rendang remark

Chef John Torode and "diner" Greg Wallace, presenters of BBC's Masterchef, managed to piss the populations of two countries off this week by criticising...
Donald Trump

Dictator of country full of gullible starving peasants to meet Kim Jong Un

The ludicrous dictator of a crackpot banana republic full of gullible half starved peasants is to meet with the leader of North Korea, it...
Trump

Trump is said to be fuhrerious over comparisons with Adolf Hitler

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Today the Trump Administration has struck back over comments alluding to Donald Trump resembling something of a 21st Century Hitler. There has been outrage...

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