US police to swear allegiance directly to Trump and be called the Orange Shirts
In a bold new democracy-busting move, Emperor Trump has decreed the police will now swear an oath of allegiance directly to the person of...
Donald Trump insists the song “You’re so vain” was written about him
The President of the United States, Donald Trump attended a party in the exclusive Hamptons recently and apparently walked in like he was walking...
Donald Trump denies links to Donald Trump Jnr
Donald Trump has denied ever meeting Donald Trump Jr. The denial comes after it was revealed by Trump Jr that he had met Russian Natalia...
OJ Simpson appointed White House press secretary
Tongues are wagging in Washington today over what seems too convenient for coincidence as OJ Simpson is rumoured about to be appointed as Sean...
Trump Named Person of the Year by Shit Hair Magazine
In an unpresidented turn of events, one of Donald Trump's tweets was proven to be correct today after Shit Hair Magazine declared him person...
Kim and Kanye arrive at White House to plead for Melania’s freedom
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are reported to be heading to the White House in order to plead for Melania Trump's freedom.
A press officer...
Trump appoints Rochdale Herald editor chief of intelligence
More details have been emerging of the structure of the Trump elected new administration which is taking shape.
Amid the circulating rumours of secret talks...
Biff Tannen secures Republican Party presidential nomination
The world was horrified but not terribly surprised to discover this morning that professional gambler and self-styled American oligarch Biff Tannen secured the US...
Trump threatens N. Korea with Fire, Fury, Trouser Snake and six other American Gladiators
Following Kim Jong Il's threat to carry out missile strike on US territory, President Trump counters with threat of onslaught by mid-90s kick-ass TV...
Ernst Stavro Blofeld a serious contender for Head of FBI
The White House has announced this morning that Blofeld is on the shortlist for the next head of the FBI following Comey's sacking yesterday.
Virginia to ban books instead of burning them
Parents from the Virginia School District have called for an immediate ban on all novels that contain the n-word.
To Kill a Mockingbird, Of Mice...
Tommy Robinson begins campaign to have himself deported from Spain
Tommy Robinson has told the Spanish Government that he should be thrown out of Spain as he's a foreign criminal unable to speak Spanish.
A...
Trump appoints David Duke to head Black Lives Don’t Matter initiative
Dr David Duke, former Grand Dragon of the Ku Klux Klan, Senate hopeful and all American Nazi Screwball, has accepted President Elect Donald Trump’s offer of a key advisory role in his new government.
Hurricane Harvey considered least destructive 2020 presidential candidate
In an attempt to win back votes from the orange-painted tweeting shitangutan, the Democrats have turned to Hurricane Harvey to stand as their candidate...
Leave campaigner forced to abandon argument after forgetting what Brexit means
Panic today as vocal anti-EU campaigner, Dennis Pigwater, forgot a crucial piece of his argument during an online debate.
Dennis, 58, from Rochdale, was engaged...
Area 51 to Close Aliens Expelled – Trump Conversation with Galactic Emperor ‘Worst...
Donald Trump has ordered the closure of Area 51 and the immediate expulsion of all aliens.
During a turbulent conversation with The Galactic Emperor, which...
