Donald Trump to join list of ‘self-aware’ animals after recognising himself in a mirror
US President Donald Trump joined the list of animals capable of self-awareness yesterday, following reports that he may have finally recognised himself in a...
Donald Trump fails to mention the length of his penis in speech defending western...
Donald Trump left an eager crowd shocked in Poland today when he failed to mention the length of his schlong once during a rousing...
North Korea won’t be happy until someone else tests a nuclear warhead on their...
North Korea state media shouted the revelation this morning that Kim Jong-un won’t be happy until someone else tests a nuclear warhead on North...
National Association of C#nts sue Florida for asking murderers to wait a bit to...
The National Association of Massive Cunts filed a lawsuit in federal court Friday in an attempt to block a Florida law to make murderous...
Trump: tinfoil a good defence against mind control rays
President-elect Donald J Trump has announced a groundbreaking and cutting edge technology to combat the growing menace of conspiracies facing the US.
He is well...
David Cameron becomes Hero of the Russian Federation
The Kremlin announced today that David Cameron is to be recognised as a Hero of the Russian Federation, the highest honour that can be...
Trump says he believes Melania’s explanation that she didn’t only marry him for his...
Donald Trump has said that he believes that Melania Trump married him for his rugged good looks, sublime conversation and attentive tenderness as a...
Spain Says ‘Direct Rule Impossible’ after Entire Catalan Population Hides
Spanish Prime-Minister Marion Rajoy has tonight been unable to suspend the Catalonian Parliament after their leader along with the rest of the population went...
Only a good guy with a nuclear weapon can stop a bad guy with...
The only way to stop a bad guy with a nuclear weapon is a good guy with a nuclear weapon. That's according to the...
President of corrupt shithole country to meet President of Nigeria Muhammadu Buhari
Nigerian President Muhammadu Buhari will become the first leader from sub-Saharan Africa to be received by the President of the corrupt North American tin...
Moron who called moron a moron fired by moron
In a completely expected turn of events, a moron has fired the moron who called him a moron and replaced him with, presumably, another...
Pathetic spoilt lying child learns lying works both ways
A nursery class somewhere in the US was reportedly in turmoil yesterday.
The usual relative calm was shattered by a screaming blubber-baby having a foot...
Angela Merkel to meet Theresa May to tell her to piss off in person
Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor, is due to meet with Theresa May later today to spit in her face and tell her to piss...
Am I Mexican? Ask Trump voters after he says USA will pay for Wall
The recently announced decision that the wall between Mexico and the USA will be built using American taxpayers money under a piece of legislation...
Boris Johnson launches ‘Free Robert Mugabe’ campaign
The campaign is headed up by Boris Johnson who is thought to believe that if it's successful he could be the leader of Zanu...
Trump to play 25 rounds of golf in honour of Texan dead
Donald Trump has defended a decision to play 25 rounds of golf in Japan saying it's in honour of the dead in Texas.
The gesture...
