Vladimir

Plucky underdog wins Russian Presidential election against all odds

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Vladimir 'Don't call this a comeback, I've been here before' Putin has surprised not only the people but himself by winning the race to...

Trump Introduces 2020 Presidential Campaign Mascot

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President Trump took to the stage in Nuremberg, Florida, on Saturday in front of a crowd seen from space, to unveil his mascot for...

I’m nothing like Steve Bannon – says Darth Vader

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Darth Vader took to Twitter today to distance himself from "that evil bastard" Steve Bannon after Bannon compared himself to Darth Vader, Thomas Cromwell, Dick Cheney and Satan.
Toffee pennies

Campaign to send 58 million toffee pennies to Syria

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Overseas aid charity, Feed the World, has launched a campaign to collect everyone's unwanted Christmas 'treats' and send them to Syria and other war-torn...
Sandy Hook

We’re doing just fine says President of country whose hobbies include shooting children at...

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The so-called President of a country that lists shooting children at school amongst its most popular hobbies has told the UK Prime Minster to...
Putin MAGA

Putin has confirmed he will run for second term as President of United States

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After his self proclaimed "success with that bloated orange puppet" Vladimir Putin has announced that he will seek to control him in a second...
Imortan Joe with Trump's face

Mad Max: Fury Road found to be future documentary sent back as a warning

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"Mad Max:Fury Road" has been found to be a future documentary, sent back as a warning. The documentary, originally titled 'Trump's Legacy' was hastily thrown...
hand written notes

Trump apologises for misreading email.

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President Donald J. Trump has apologised for misreading an email which has led to some bizarre policy announcements in the last few days. The President was...
Time Magazine

Trump joins Time Magazine “Person of the Year” club

In a move in keeping with the utter shit show that has been 2016, Time Magazine has named the orange baboon Donald Trump "Person...
France

France admits the French Language was created to avoid speaking to other Countries

It has been rumored for years. Now it is official, France finally stops the lies. Confesses they only created the French language to avoid...

Madame Tussauds new Trump wax work backs out of inauguration

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Madame Tussauds have declined to exhibit their new Trump wax work at the impending inauguration on Friday. Simon Wick, a spokesman for Tussauds said; "Its nothing...

Shortcake is nuttier than fruitcake – Parliamentary Inquiry finds

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In another extraordinary turn of events in Australian, "She'll be right mate" politics, opposition leader, William Shortcake has been ridiculed in a Parliamentary Inquiry...
A delighted Sun Reader

Sun says Trump not nonce as he checks girls teeth before ‘dating’ 

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Sun Readers thrilled Donald Trump acquitted of raping 13 year old after convincing judge she "had teeth of 21 year old."
Venezuela

Sinn Fein election observer confirms Venezuelan blowjobs, cocaine and elections are best in world

"I've had my share of blowjobs," confirms Jarry Odoms, mouthpiece of Sinn Fein. "But nobody does erections, I mean elections, like the Venezuelans. Now...
Santa

Scandinavian ‘Too Drunk To Stand’ Following Drunk-Sleighing Arrest

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Rochdale magistrates heard how a visitor from Lapland, Mr Nicholas Saint (1,747) created havoc in Rochdale with his erratic control over his team of excitable reindeer pulling a bright red sleigh.
Trump Air Force one

Donald Trump arrives in Germany and says ‘Ich bin ein Binliner’ Berlin agrees

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President Donald Trump landed in Germany Sunday morning to kick off the first leg of his 12-day trip to Europe. Trump held a surprise press...

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