IKEA founder funeral delayed because man won’t look at instructions
The funeral of IKEA founder Ingvar Kamprad has been delayed by several days as staff at the funeral parlour attempt to assemble his coffin....
Malaysian PM offers Greg Wallace out for a scrap over “crispy” rendang remark
Chef John Torode and "diner" Greg Wallace, presenters of BBC's Masterchef, managed to piss the populations of two countries off this week by criticising...
Rock Scaramucci crawled out from under refuses to take him back
Having been unceremoniously sacked as President Trump's director of communications after only ten days and divorced by his wife, Anthony Scaramucci has now suffered...
Australia in early fireworks embarrassment
We have heard news that fireworks have been sighted a full 12 hours before new year in Syndney Harbour, Australia.
The fireworks that were reported to...
Russia to shoot down all planes in Syrian airspace, including their own
This morning Russia released an announcement stating that any and all aircraft entering Syrian airspace will be immediately shot down without warning.
This, apparently,...
Mary forced to give birth on stable floor after health insurance refuses to cover...
A woman that claims she's about to give birth to the son of God has told the Herald, about how she is being forced...
Elon Musk offers POTUS a ticket to ride his rocket
Sources close to the White House have revealed that Elon Musk has today offered Donald Trump a ride on the next Falcon Heavy rocket.
The...
Dictator of country full of gullible starving peasants to meet Kim Jong Un
The ludicrous dictator of a crackpot banana republic full of gullible half starved peasants is to meet with the leader of North Korea, it...
May tells Merkel,”This is just a taste of what I’ve got”.
News reports this morning state that the entire city of Hannover is to be evacuated following the discovery of numerous unexploded WW2 bombs.
Apparently, Theresa...
Revealed! What ‘Brexit’ means.
After months of denying that 'Brexit' could be defined in terms of anything other than being 'Brexit', the Government has finally announced what, in...
Campaign to move Calais Jungle migrant Camp to Southend dubbed inhumane
Plans to move the makeshift refugee camp in Calais to Southend were quashed today after a cross party committee called the plans inhumane.
Refugees from...
Trump tells reporters that he’s cured Megadeth
POTATUS, Donald Trump has made a sensational claim that he's cured Megadeth today.
In a rambling 4 hour speech Trump said, "You know what's amazing?...
Man with record of making unproveable and unsubstantiated claims claims something unproveable and unsubstantiated
Serial unproveable and unsubstantiated claim maker Anthony Gilberthorpe, 54, has come to the defence of serial gropist Donald Trump.
Kim Jong Un can’t dance, that brother ain’t got no Seoul
“Kim Jong Un? He can’t dance, that brother ain’t got no Seoul. You know I put the rump into Trump babycakes. When I slut drop you know it’s going to be fire and fury on the dance floor.”
Germany to face sanctions for failing to help US during D-Day landings
Donald Trump has today announced a huge package of far reaching sanctions against Germany after discovering that Germany failed to help the US during...
The ‘J’ is for Genius, confirms Donald J Trump
Washington - The actual real life President of the United States of America Donald J Trump has cleared up speculation over the weekend about...
