Da Vinci’s ‘My Spunky Pantaloons’ sells for £45m

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A previously unknown Leonardo da Vinci work "My Spunky Pantaloons" has been bought bought by Charles Saatchi for £45m. The jizzy kecks will be...

Obama calls for ban on rapists and racists from entering public office

In a shock move Barack Obama has called for a total ban on racist narcissists, rapists and tax evaders from entering public office until he can figure out "what the hell is going on."
FBI

There was nothing to tip us off about that bloke who bought 33 guns...

1
The FBI have reiterated that there were absolutely no clues that a bloke who bought thirty three semi-automatic rifles in one year might have...

RAF successfully destroy evidence of UK chemicals exports

Targeted strikes destroy invoices, with only minor collateral damage to Syrian accountants. RAF Bomber Command confirmed the series of raids sanctioned by the May government...

Putin admits attack on Skripal start of ‘War on Dubstep’

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After repeated denials of involvement in the Skripal affair, Vladimir Putin has finally been moved to admit it was a deliberate attack. Putin...
White Lives Matter

Bravery of white lives matter protesters saluted after US march

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I was born white and as such I face discrimination on a daily basis. Only the other day I was told I couldn't have a job in Starbucks because I have a swastika tattoo on my face. Apparently it may offend customers. It's because I'm white.

Deadly brain eating microbe starves to death in Texas water supply

Brain eating microbes in the water supply in Lake Jackson Texas have been found either starved to death or suffering from extreme malnutrition.  Tests have...

British Fascists upset that UK Government won’t appease Foreign Fascist Dictator

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A wealthy British Fascist today took to criticising the British Government for refusing to appease the United States' first elected authoritarian fascist dictator by appointing renowned fascist Nigel Farage as British Ambassador to the US.

Pathetic snowflake cries over claim less guests at his party than other

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Little spoilt toddler Donald again could be heard from across Washington today, as he wailed and screamed about other children having more guests at...
UFO

Aliens land on earth, demand under no circumstances to be taken to our leaders

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It has been confirmed that aliens have landed on earth over the festive period. Their large red craft, powered by nine outlying vaguely reindeer-shaped...

Trump abandons plans to build wall, resolves to plant Leylandii hedge on Mexican border

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Donald Trump has announced that he's no longer going to demand money to build a wall at the border between the United States and...

Wright brothers blamed for rise in immigration

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Criticism has been placed upon two American inventors for the dramatic rise in immigration, it has been confirmed. Brothers Orville and Wilbur Wright, who are...

ISIS claim responsibility for self-service checkouts

So called 'Islamic State'  have claimed responsibility for supermarket self service checkouts. A statement released by ISIS said they came up with the idea after...
Trump

Donald Trump is a hoax, says Global Warming

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Global Warming, the phenomenon by which mankind is fucking up the environment, has confirmed on Twitter today that Donald Trump is in fact a...
Good Friday Agreement

Good Friday Agreement to be replaced by Stupid Friday Agreement

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The Good Friday agreement of 1998 has been replaced by the Stupid Friday Agreement of 2017. Prime Minister Theresa Mayhem has asked Northern Irish Democratic...
Donald Trump

Too soon since last mass shooting and not long enough before next one to...

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In the wake of the latest mass shooting in a bar in Ohio that has claimed the lives of at least 9 people The White...

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