Western leaders have suggested that nothing could possibly go wrong by attacking Syria and this time will definitely be different to Iraq, Afghanistan and Libya because, you know, reasons.

Politicians are completely sure that bombing stuff and picking sides in really complex civil wars that nobody really understands without thinking things through is probably the best course of action this time.

Theresa May said “It’s a great plan. What could possibly go wrong? All we’re going to do is create a power vacuum in failing state full of armed factions who’ve been killing each other for a decade.”

“The plan is to drop some bombs and hope for the best. We’ve tried this a few times before and fundamentally it’s not a terrible plan. I think the last couple genocides and humanitarian catastrophes were down to rotten luck.”

“Success is down to visualisation and a positive mental attitude. In the past I think our failures when it came to regime change was that we didn’t really think it would work.”

“This time we’ve all got a really positive mental attitude and last time we didn’t cross our fingers. This time we’ve crossed our fingers, toes AND legs.”

“It’s definitely going to work out really well this time.”

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.