Rothschilds ‘surprised’ by Trump victory but pleased they invested in wall building company in 2015

The Rothschild family are set for a huge windfall following Donald Trump’s ‘surprise’ success in the US election.

“You could have blown me down with a feather” said the billionaire investor Baron Amschell Rothschild.

“We just bought all of America’s concrete and steel rebar factories for an absolute song because construction is on its arse. And then Trump gets elected and wants to build a 2,300 mile long concrete and steel rebar wall. We’re just lucky I guess.”

The wall which will be mostly a three foot hire chicken wire fence and a painted line on the desert floor will feature some wall.

“Even some wall is going to cost a fortune. Hundreds of billions of dollars of concrete and steel rebar. We’re going to make a killing. These things keep happening, I just made a packet betting against Sterling during the referendum and bam! Brexit. If I was a suspicious man I’d say these elections were rigged.”

N M Rothschild’s bank was founded near Rochdale in Manchester in 1798.

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.