There was fresh controversy in the Trump camp this morning as allegations emerged of cheating in the All-Valley Karate Championships.

In a blow to the personal ambitions of both Sensei Trump and his teenage heart-throb karate prodigy, Eric, the Trump Dojo has been banned from future competitions after allegations of bullying, extreme violence, doping and cheating in the under-18’s category.

Eric Trump, who resembles every bully from every 1980’s teen flick ever made, is already facing a lifetime ban from the sport after breaking the leg of a fellow competitor, Daniel Larusso, on the orders of Sensei Trump in last year’s championship.

A spokesman for the Trump Dojo said;

“We do not train to be merciful here. Mercy is for the weak. Here, in the streets, in competition: A man confronts you, he is the enemy. An enemy deserves no mercy.”

Parents of children who thought they were sending their children to karate classes to learn discipline and restraint are said to be mortified by the allegations.

More on this as it breaks.

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.