Donald Trump shits on White House floor after learning Obama uses toilets
News is emerging this morning that Donald Trump has started defecating on the floor like a dog after learning that Barack Obama uses toilets.
Several...
US Closes Wardrobe Border Travel Bans on Narnians and Radical Followers of Aslan
President Donald Trump last night signed an Executive Order immediately banning "followers of Aslan" from entering the US.
This will instantly affect talking beavers, centaurs...
Online petition to impeach Trump gets 6 billion signatures in 24 hours
An online petition requesting that Donald Trump be removed from office has got 6 billion signatures from around the world within 24 hours of...
Trump vows to chisel four ‘losers’ off Mount Rushmore
President Trump has vowed to have the images of four of his predecessors chiselled off Mount Rushmore, describing them as ‘total losers’.
In a...
Trump launches intercontinental Tweet at North Korea
POTUS and orange spacehopper Donald Trump has reacted angrily to the first North Korean missile test since he took office.
The massive and overwhelming response...
Not enough guns in America according to experts
In the aftermath of the shocking shooting of children and teachers in a Florida High School, Americans have been quick to point out there...
Ethnic cleanliness next to Godliness according to the DUP
The DUP were apparently acknowledging today the new opportunities opening up to them, with some pleasure.
DUP spokesmuppet Seamus Allways said "This is orr moment...
Americans forced to drink milkshakes through AR-15 assault rifles after plastic straw ban hits...
The unjust plastic straw ban threatens the American way of life, but citizens are finding an innovative way to beat the ban.
Consuming tens of...
‘MPs Must Respect Democracy’ Demand People With Negligible Grasp Of Democracy
MPs from all parties and from all areas of Britain are being called upon by smug triumphalists to deliver a near unanimous vote in...
President Trump’s hairpiece flown over Korean peninsula in B-1 bomber
It was reported this evening that President Donald Trump’s golden hairpiece has been flown over the Korean peninsula in a B-1 Bomber as a...
Thousands of Americans in hospital after attempting microwave selfies…
Trump advisor Kellyanne Conway’s assertion that microwaves can ‘turn into cameras’ has led to thousands of Americans winding up in hospital after putting their...
Britain to join new ‘European Federation’ after Brexit
EXCLUSIVE: With Britain poised to trigger Article 50 and put the wheels irreversibly in motion to finally leave the European Union, a leaked home office...
The ‘J’ is for Genius, confirms Donald J Trump
Washington - The actual real life President of the United States of America Donald J Trump has cleared up speculation over the weekend about...
Julian Assange wins FSB employee of the month
Julian Assange has explained that he is happy to be awarded FSB's employee of the month for July award.
The Russian secret service organisation said...
When the world Trumps, you better dodge that draft
Look at him. He’s the lad you thought was a prick at school but you still went round his house because he had a decent back garden for you to leck footy in. Except he was shit at it, and had right bad hayfever.
Donald Trump could pardon himself of crime he definitely didn’t commit
Donald Trump could pardon himself of a crime he repeatedly says he hasn't committed. That's according to his lawyer, Rudy Giuliani.
Giuliani said, "It may...
