America

A country that has a really serious problem with deranged lunatics buying really big guns and shooting dozens of strangers has publicly said it has "no idea' how to solve the problem. "We just have...

Donald Trump has announced he intends to visit areas of Texas affected by flooding just as soon as the cleaning operation on Texan golf courses is complete. In a tweet Trump said, "Wow. Just had confirmation...

American conspiracy theorists heads are exploding at an alarming rate as the two main presidential candidates get more and more terrible. "Up until yesterday I was pretty convinced that the reason that Donald Trump was running...

President-elect Donald Trump revealed today that although he had expressed a preference for Nigel Farage as UK ambassador to the USA, this was a case of his "head ruling his penis".  "Although Nigel would be...

American scientists confirmed last night that US President, Donald Trump, is close to completely disappearing up his own arse. Professor Steven Sigmoid of the US Institute for Sphincteral Studies told The Rochdale...

Donald Trump has demanded "they fire these sons of bitches" over the growing #takeafinger protests. A woman pictured raising her middle finger toward Trump's motorcade has reportedly been fired from her job over the photograph. The...

The matter of immigration has often been a contentious issue within politics, particularly American politics of late. During the campaign trail, Donald Trump promised certain measures would be put in place to reduce the...

American space go-getters NASA are said to be up in arms about budget restrictions while there is still enough money available to feed some children 3 meals a day. "We're never going to put a...

The rising tensions in America have led to violent clashes in the streets of late, which has caused the tragic loss of life. The “Alt-right” hate-mongers and terrorists are being supported by none other...

America's creepiest uncle, State Department Obergruppenführer Steve 'Steve-O' Bannon confirmed today that steps were being taken to deport 'dangerous subversive' the Statue of Liberty.  "Ms Liberty is originally a French national and the French let...

In an unpresidented turn of events, one of Donald Trump's tweets was proven to be correct today after Shit Hair Magazine declared him person of the year. In previous years, the much sought after accolade...

Donald Trump has dismissed as fake news any suggestion that money that has appeared in his account is anything to do with collusion with the Russian Government. In a statement to James Comey Mr Trump...

A spokesperson for White House Security has just confirmed that the intruder apprehended today was Nigel Farage. Mr. Farage was promptly arrested after scaling the wall of the White House habitation wing carrying a rucksack. Amongst...

Secret delegations from the 50 states of the United States of America have agreed a plan to avoid the impeachment of Donald Trump as President of The United States of America, The Rochdale Herald...

The US Department of Education has revealed plans to install emergency 'Thoughts and Prayers' cabinets in every school classroom by the year 2020. The announcement comes just hours after another lunatic with an assault rifle...