America

News is emerging this morning that Donald Trump has started defecating on the floor like a dog after learning that Barack Obama uses toilets. Several cleaners in the White House are reported to have resigned...

The White House has confirmed that the new range of Trump jigsaw puzzles, commemorating the President's achievements in office, are deliberately missing several pieces. The release of the puzzles is timed to capitalise on Trump’s...

Hate preacher Abu Hamza has been invited to a State Visit after Number 10 revealed that they are widening the scope of the unsavoury extremists that can benefit from such an honour. Downing Street...

The President of the United States, Donald Trump attended a party in the exclusive Hamptons recently and apparently walked in like he was walking onto a yacht. His hat strategically dipped below one eye and...

NASA has announced it will hold a press conference later this week to reveal new discoveries "of significant importance, "beyond our solar system". The agency gave no further details however unofficial sources have suggested that the...

A country that has a really serious problem with deranged lunatics buying really big guns and shooting dozens of strangers has publicly said it has "no idea' how to solve the problem. "We just have...

North Korean media has reacted angrily after Donald Trump allegedly sent Kim Jong Un a photo of his genitalia. Spokesman for North Korea, Ban-Ki-Han-Ki said, "It was a shame because it had been a good...

America, land of the brave and home of the free as well as Donald Trump & Charles Manson, hit an important milestone this week. Mass shootings in the USA are now officially a daily...

Donald Trump has demanded that the widow of Sgt La David Johnson release his long form death certificate following a row about whether or not Donald believes her that her husband is actually dead. Donald,...

As the world looked on with intrigue and anticipation at the spat between the USA and North Korea, a horrifying incident occurred. With the talks heating up, appearing ever-more likely to end in bloodshed,...

Republicans in North Carolina deny that their voting districts were drawn up based on race. After the Supreme Court ruled 5-3 that the boundaries were gerrymandered on racial grounds, Republican Connor Cracker-Fitzgerald said the ruling...

A Rochdale couple have told the Herald that their son's release from jail in America is the best present they could have hoped for. Percy Cuted was jailed in 2011 after wishing some Americans "Merry...

Darth Vader took to Twitter today to distance himself from "that evil bastard" Steve Bannon after Bannon compared himself to Darth Vader, Thomas Cromwell, Dick Cheney and Satan.

The actual real life president of the United States of America told the Future Farmers of America Convention that the worst thing to happen in America yesterday was his hair got a bit wet. Dystopian...

POTATUS has announced that he will begin to give CNN press conferences in Saudi Embassies from now on. The announcement comes as his administration complained that reporters ask too many hard questions and rarely ask...

Hateful, racist, bigoted white supremacist Donald Trump has called on the people of the United States to unite against hate, racism, bigotry and white supremacy. Reading from a teleprompter - where the big words are...