Pastor Tony Perkins, President of the Family Research Council and a particularly lamentable human being, has been hoist by his own petard and “outed” by God as a spectacular Gay.
The LGBT-hate preacher, who has stated with clarity & certainty that natural disasters are visited upon man by God to punish him for homosexuality, today stood by and watched his house get washed away by the Louisiana flood.
Whilst it may have been “Adam & Eve not Adam & Steve” Pastor Perkins will doubtless be more concerned that there was no place for him on The Arc this time around as God cast him down with the Soddomjites. Had the ship’s manifest included the requirement for 2 Bi-Curious Christian Fundamentalist Bigots prepared to share a single bunk he may have had more joy.
Whilst the Pastor will no doubt be busying himself with finding loopholes in the notoriously hateful Old Testament he may at last have succeeded in his own hateful cause. News of his “misfortune” caused the San Francisco Pride march to be abandoned after half of the attendees laughed themselves unconscious whilst the other half crashed his Instagram feed with ironic “cock-shots.”
Pastor Perkins said that “his Faith will see him through this difficult time” despite it being clear to all that it is significantly misplaced.