Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin have sought to deny allegations that President Trump has been awarded a, “requires improvement” rating during his first one year appraisal meeting.

The pair met during a meeting of Asian leaders. An aide to President Trump, Justin Thyme said, “It didn’t get off to a good start as they were both wearing the same kimono.

They both looked like they’d been on Wheel Of Fortune and won matching pyjamas.”
It’s alleged that Mr Trump had needed to come up with 4 examples of situations where he personally had acted in Russia’s interests.

The aide told us, “Mr Putin was happy about Syria and President Trump’s role in it. He had to point out that he couldn’t use winning an election as he’d used that during his job interview. Basically, President Trump could only come up with 2 situations and the sentence,” Crooked Hillary’s book sales are dropping. Sad. I’m a way better author.”

The aide also went on to say, “Mr Putin is very upset about the allegations of Russian collusion that won’t go away. He set that as an objective for Mr Trump in January and Mr Trump has failed to achieve it. Even though Mr Trump went on a Russian Government funded training course on making fire arms injuries look like those from a car crash.”

It’s not clear what sanction President Trump will face if he doesn’t improve. However, sources within the Russian Government have said it probably involves hookers, a DVD and urine.

Nigel Farage’s appraisal with President Putin is thought to be due in December.

Elsewhere, Julian Assange is expected to to face a tough appraisal with the FSB head of HR, Ivana Dikova. It’s alleged that his lack of releasing information that damages America without damaging Russia is meaning he may require improvement. It’s alleged the sanction for this is to poison his tea.