Donald Trump has said that he believes that Melania Trump married him for his rugged good looks, sublime conversation and attentive tenderness as a lover.

POTATUS was speaking after holding one to one talks with Melania. He told us, “I spoke to Melania today about why she married me. She said it definitely wasn’t for my money. when she said that I looked her in the eye and I find her believable.”

A White House insider revealed, “Melania told him that she’d always dreamed of a day when she would meet a tall, handsome man such as Trump. One whose wit is so sharp it can pierce diamond. A man whose hands are inexplicably small. She then added that she would definitely still be with POTATUS even if he were a poor man before tearing up and coughing.”

The insider said, “It’s a good job she’d like him as a poor man. When he dies she’s going to discover the real reason he won’t reveal his tax returns.”

However, Donald Trump Jr. refused to say if he believed Melania or not. Speaking shortly after POTATUS nap time he said, “As a family we’re in a fact finding phase. Once we know all the facts we’ll determine if any of them are credible.”

He then went on to add “The media will rush in and try to make the President look bad. But we must look at the evidence and then decide. Only then can we act firmly and decisively and cut Melania out of the will.”

It’s alleged that following his conference about the issue Trump disappeared singing “If I were a rich man”.

Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.