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Putin 2

FIFA rejects World Cup draw rigging allegations after Russia selected to play against Russia

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FIFA have been forced to defend more allegations of corruption after the 2018 World Cup hosts, Russia, were selected to play against themselves in...

Euro 2020 tournament to be played on XBox, UEFA confirms

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The European Football Championship 2020 is to be played on XBox, UEFA has told The Rochdale Herald. In the wake of the Coronavirus pandemic, European...

Surprise as West Ham Fan runs 50 yards on pitch without stopping for fag...

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It has been crowned the greatest sporting achievement at the London Stadium since the 2012 Olympics. There was shock and surprise as a West Ham...
Scientist

Study finds Manchester United fans have smallest penises

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A new survey of football fans has discovered that Manchester United fans have significantly smaller penises than men who follow other teams. "It's not just...

Significantly lower brain function can lead to heading footballs, scientists reveal

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Scientists have revealed that significantly lower brain function can lead to being a footballer. Researchers said they had identified "significantly lower levels of brain function"...
Millwall Fans

Millwall football fans hail Supreme Court with bricks and bottles after Blair no criminal...

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Buoyed by the Supreme Court's ruling that there was no law of criminal aggression with which to prosecute Tony Blair, Millwall Football Club supporters...

Dogs will be allowed on the Pitch during the World Cup in Russia

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Man's best friend can now get even closer to the World Cup action. As Dogs will be allowed on the field during World Cup...

New EU rules send shock waves through the terraces

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New EU rules are set to send shock waves through the football terraces of the UK. According to sources close to the FA, the...
Christiano Ronaldo

Ronaldo vows to work the full six weeks to pay £13 million tax bill

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Many of us were shocked when top footballer, Cristiano Ronaldo was embroiled in tax evasion, especially to such a degree. The highly-regarded player, often hailed...

Vatican declares official miracle after England win on penalties

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The Vatican has tonight declared an official miracle following England's penalty shootout victory over some goat farmers from Colombia. The victory is the first...

Big penis denies any link to Romelu Lukaku

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A big penis has spoken out today to deny any attachment to Manchester United striker Romelu Lukaku. Speaking to reporters outside his home address, the...

Rooney: taking are cuntry bak

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As the second half of the Manchester derby got underway, reports were coming in that Wayne Rooney had joined Britain First. During the halftime team...

ISIS applies for FIFA membership

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The murderous psychopathic caliphate known as ISIS has applied to join the world football governing body, FIFA.  In a surprise move, they hope to be...
Referee

‘So what?’ ask arseholes in response to significant event

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Football fans across the UK went out of their way this week to prove that their point-missing dim-wittedness was ‘by far the greatest stupidity...
Bored Football Fan

Spurs reassure loyal fans with plan to be shit again by the weekend

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Tottenham Hotspur, commonly referred to simply as Tottenham, Spurs, or a word that you really can’t use in an article these days for fear...

GBBO causes football fracas

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It has been revealed that last night's violence at the London stadium was caused when West Ham fans chanted the name of the Bake...

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