Rochdale v Spurs – “New tarmac pitch should silence critics” says spokesfootballer
"I'm prepared to admit that the playing surface wasn't perhaps 110%, but Mr Pinocchio has no right to criticise another club that might not...
Study finds Manchester United fans have smallest penises
A new survey of football fans has discovered that Manchester United fans have significantly smaller penises than men who follow other teams.
"It's not just...
Does my bum look big on top of this broken ambulance?
Several women have taken to the top of ambulances in their latest quest for reassurance about their weight
Becky Donaldson, 23, is fairly confident she...
Queen gives blessing for Meghan to marry Prince Harry
The Queen has signalled her approval for Meghan Markle to marry Prince Harry Kane.
Despite her recent wedding to that "Bastard" (sic) ginger grandson of...
Poppies outraged at being hijacked by intolerable, out of touch band of Nationalists.
The prima-donna XI, also known as the England National football team, have confirmed that they will take to the pitch against Germany this Friday,...
‘So what?’ ask arseholes in response to significant event
Football fans across the UK went out of their way this week to prove that their point-missing dim-wittedness was ‘by far the greatest stupidity...
Stormzy shuts up agent after transfer confusion
Following the glaring error made by Irish newspaper, The Herald (no relation) where a picture of the grime MC was used instead of Romelu...
Lukaku leaves second best club in Liverpool for second best club in Manchester
Lukaku is thought to be worth approximately 50m but has signed for United with an additional premium unofficially known as the 'United surcharge'.
Lukaku's...
David White follows The Rochdale Herald on Twitter
The editorial team were said to be jubilant at the news this evening that former England, Leeds and Manchester City centre forward David White...
England team reveal plan to completely disappoint everyone is going smoothly
Gareth Southgate has revealed that his plan to completely disappoint loads of English people is going exactly according to plan.
At a press conference Southgate...
Moron says something moronic
A moron has uttered a statement that is totally devoid of intelligence, it has emerged.
The exact words used in this situation concerned a...
Touching scenes as Rooney reunited with hair transplant donor
Footage has been revealed of the touching scenes when Wayne Rooney was reunited with his hair donor.
The meeting took place on the rock of...
Mighty England’s thrilling World Cup opener – Yeah right!
England's opening match of the World Cup campaign was as dull as ditchwater proving that the news of Joe Hart's transfer from Man City...
Foreigners with British citizenship MUST support England in the football, IT’S THE LAW
A Brazilian woman and her South African friend, who have both recently attained British citizenship, have been reported to the authorities after announcing that...
Football team goes one point ahead in Premiership.
Fans of popular football team Chelsea Albion were agog with joy today when the team went one point ahead of arch rivals Liverpool Wanderers...
‘I moved for new challenges’ says footballer now on three quarters of a million...
Brazilian bladder-hoofer Naymar Davis Junior today explained his reasons for his £200 million move from Europe's most technically skilled, most competitive national football league...
