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Police and HMRC raid Arsenal after silver polish claim on VAT return

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More tax scandal has hit the Premier League last night after police swooped on the Arsenal stadium after they tried to claim the VAT...

Wales Seeks Independence as Gareth Bale Doubles Welsh GDP

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Carwyn Jones has changed his mind on Welsh Independence after Gareth Bale’s new contract doubled the GDP of Wales.

John Terry leaves Villa to spend more time with Wayne Bridge’s family

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John Terry has announced he's leaving Aston Villa today. Terry said he was leaving so that he could spend more time with Wayne Bridge's...

Transfer News: Surprise deal Rochdale – Man Utd

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Transfer News: In a shock late move, minnows Rochdale have thrashed out a deal with giants Manchester United. As this weekend brought an end to...

Jose mourinho assures Spain ‘money was just resting in my account’

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Jose Mourinho has sought to reassure the Spanish tax office that the £3m he is alleged to owe them in unpaid taxes has in...

Poppies outraged at being hijacked by intolerable, out of touch band of Nationalists.

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The prima-donna XI, also known as the England National football team, have confirmed that they will take to the pitch against Germany this Friday,...

Queen gives blessing for Meghan to marry Prince Harry

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The Queen has signalled her approval for Meghan Markle to marry Prince Harry Kane. Despite her recent wedding to that "Bastard" (sic) ginger grandson of...
Millwall Fans

Millwall football fans hail Supreme Court with bricks and bottles after Blair no criminal...

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Buoyed by the Supreme Court's ruling that there was no law of criminal aggression with which to prosecute Tony Blair, Millwall Football Club supporters...

EFL admits to buying its footballs from a petrol station on Rochdale

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The English Football League has admitted buying its footballs from Denny’s Auto Diesel & Spar Mini-Mart on the Bury New Road in Rochdale. The...

Rochdale Reds watch Man Utd forge ahead with Brexit plan

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Members of the Rochdale Reds Man Utd supporters association may ask the High Court to step in over Jose Mourinho's apparent Brexit plans. United manager...
Referee

‘So what?’ ask arseholes in response to significant event

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Football fans across the UK went out of their way this week to prove that their point-missing dim-wittedness was ‘by far the greatest stupidity...

New EU rules send shock waves through the terraces

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New EU rules are set to send shock waves through the football terraces of the UK. According to sources close to the FA, the...
Bored Football Fan

Spurs reassure loyal fans with plan to be shit again by the weekend

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Tottenham Hotspur, commonly referred to simply as Tottenham, Spurs, or a word that you really can’t use in an article these days for fear...
Wayne Rooney

Touching scenes as Rooney reunited with hair transplant donor

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Footage has been revealed of the touching scenes when Wayne Rooney was reunited with his hair donor. The meeting took place on the rock of...

Football players saving us all by not taking a pay cut

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The Professional Footballers Association have warned that a 30% cut in their members' wages would damage the NHS as it would reduce the amount...

Rooney: taking are cuntry bak

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As the second half of the Manchester derby got underway, reports were coming in that Wayne Rooney had joined Britain First. During the halftime team...

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