Poppies outraged at being hijacked by intolerable, out of touch band of Nationalists.
The prima-donna XI, also known as the England National football team, have confirmed that they will take to the pitch against Germany this Friday,...
Urinating Salford goalie earns whole side a place in England’s World Cup squad
Almost the entire Salford lineup have been selected as part of England’s squad for next year’s World Cup, it has emerged. All the English...
Rochdale v Spurs – “New tarmac pitch should silence critics” says spokesfootballer
"I'm prepared to admit that the playing surface wasn't perhaps 110%, but Mr Pinocchio has no right to criticise another club that might not...
God shows that he hates Cristiano Ronaldo and Argentina
God has revealed that he absolutely cannot stand Cristiano Ronaldo so he chose to favour Uruguay in yesterday's last 16 game.
God or, The Word...
Significantly lower brain function can lead to heading footballs, scientists reveal
Scientists have revealed that significantly lower brain function can lead to being a footballer.
Researchers said they had identified "significantly lower levels of brain function"...
Jose mourinho assures Spain ‘money was just resting in my account’
Jose Mourinho has sought to reassure the Spanish tax office that the £3m he is alleged to owe them in unpaid taxes has in...
FIFA poppy row escalates
British football fans have been advised that if they object to FIFA's stance on its national teams wearing poppies on armistice day, then they...
Raheem Sterling to start giving guided tours of his tattoo’s
England footballer, Raheem Sterling has said he's going to start offering tours of his tattoos. Sterling made the announcement when he met members of...
Donald Trump congratulates Rochdale AFC on winning Superbowl
POTATUS, Donald Trump telephoned and congratulated Rochdale AFC on winning the Superbowl on Sunday night. Much to the surprise of club officials.
A club spokesman...
Football team goes one point ahead in Premiership.
Fans of popular football team Chelsea Albion were agog with joy today when the team went one point ahead of arch rivals Liverpool Wanderers...
Lukaku leaves second best club in Liverpool for second best club in Manchester
Lukaku is thought to be worth approximately 50m but has signed for United with an additional premium unofficially known as the 'United surcharge'.
Lukaku's...
Spurs reassure loyal fans with plan to be shit again by the weekend
Tottenham Hotspur, commonly referred to simply as Tottenham, Spurs, or a word that you really can’t use in an article these days for fear...
FA launch tactical nuclear strike at semi-final of Women’s Euro 2017
The Football Association has long been implacably opposed to the rise of the women’s game. When it first got popular, the FA acted swiftly...
Rooney Returns to Everton because ‘I missed my Nan’
Overweight, red faced, former England captain Wayne Rooney is to leave Manchester United to return to his first club Everton as part of a...
Police and HMRC raid Arsenal after silver polish claim on VAT return
More tax scandal has hit the Premier League last night after police swooped on the Arsenal stadium after they tried to claim the VAT...
Study finds Manchester United fans have smallest penises
A new survey of football fans has discovered that Manchester United fans have significantly smaller penises than men who follow other teams.
"It's not just...
