Vatican declares official miracle after England win on penalties
The Vatican has tonight declared an official miracle following England's penalty shootout victory over some goat farmers from Colombia. The victory is the first...
‘I moved for new challenges’ says footballer now on three quarters of a million...
Brazilian bladder-hoofer Naymar Davis Junior today explained his reasons for his £200 million move from Europe's most technically skilled, most competitive national football league...
Football players saving us all by not taking a pay cut
The Professional Footballers Association have warned that a 30% cut in their members' wages would damage the NHS as it would reduce the amount...
Moron says something moronic
A moron has uttered a statement that is totally devoid of intelligence, it has emerged.
The exact words used in this situation concerned a...
Rooney: taking are cuntry bak
As the second half of the Manchester derby got underway, reports were coming in that Wayne Rooney had joined Britain First.
During the halftime team...
Wayne Rooney moves from second best team in Manchester to second best team in...
Thatched-roofed footballer Wayne Rooney was yesterday given away by the second best team in Manchester to the second best team in Liverpool.
He moves...
Millwall football fans hail Supreme Court with bricks and bottles after Blair no criminal...
Buoyed by the Supreme Court's ruling that there was no law of criminal aggression with which to prosecute Tony Blair, Millwall Football Club supporters...
The Beckhams ditch L.A for glorious Rochdale
Today the Herald can exclusively reveal the jaw dropping news that the world's biggest star, glamour model, fashion icon, tireless charity worker and one...
Rochdale footballer in record 198p transfer
Rochdale football star, Wayne "Chopper" Gascoigne has been transferred to Accrington Stanley for a record 198p (€1.77) and a box of steak and onion...
‘So what?’ ask arseholes in response to significant event
Football fans across the UK went out of their way this week to prove that their point-missing dim-wittedness was ‘by far the greatest stupidity...
Foreigners with British citizenship MUST support England in the football, IT’S THE LAW
A Brazilian woman and her South African friend, who have both recently attained British citizenship, have been reported to the authorities after announcing that...
BT and Sky TV will not allow Nuclear Winter Premiership break
Sky TV and BT TV have both announced that the current Premier League TV rights deal precludes top-tier football a break in the event...
Spurs reassure loyal fans with plan to be shit again by the weekend
Tottenham Hotspur, commonly referred to simply as Tottenham, Spurs, or a word that you really can’t use in an article these days for fear...
Ryan Giggs’ ex-wife confirms she now has 6 more Premier League winner’s medals than...
Dragon philanderer, Ryan Giggs’ ex-wife Stacey Giggs, spoke of her excitement today as she is finally set to be awarded half of the Giggs...
Wales Seeks Independence as Gareth Bale Doubles Welsh GDP
Carwyn Jones has changed his mind on Welsh Independence after Gareth Bale’s new contract doubled the GDP of Wales.
The Rochdale Herald’s Top Ten Tips for Real Supporters and True Football Fans
In honour of signing world famous football man Neville Southall to the Rochdale Herald, here are our top ten tips for real supporters and...
