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Wayne Rooney

Wayne Rooney moves from second best team in Manchester to second best team in...

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Thatched-roofed footballer Wayne Rooney was yesterday given away by the second best team in Manchester to the second best team in Liverpool. He moves...
Donald Trump

Moron says something moronic

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A moron has uttered a statement that is totally devoid of intelligence, it has emerged. The exact words used in this situation concerned a...

Rooney: taking are cuntry bak

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As the second half of the Manchester derby got underway, reports were coming in that Wayne Rooney had joined Britain First. During the halftime team...
Bored Football Fan

Spurs reassure loyal fans with plan to be shit again by the weekend

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Tottenham Hotspur, commonly referred to simply as Tottenham, Spurs, or a word that you really can’t use in an article these days for fear...
Goalkeeper

Urinating Salford goalie earns whole side a place in England’s World Cup squad

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Almost the entire Salford lineup have been selected as part of England’s squad for next year’s World Cup, it has emerged. All the English...

Rochdale Reds watch Man Utd forge ahead with Brexit plan

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Members of the Rochdale Reds Man Utd supporters association may ask the High Court to step in over Jose Mourinho's apparent Brexit plans. United manager...
Football Riot

Belgian football riot shows EU is hungry for UK exports says Liam Fox

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A football riot at a Belgian football match between Anderlecht and Club Brugge demonstrates the hunger for British exports according to Liam Fox. In a...

Raheem Sterling to start giving guided tours of his tattoo’s

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England footballer, Raheem Sterling has said he's going to start offering tours of his tattoos. Sterling made the announcement when he met members of...

Football players saving us all by not taking a pay cut

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The Professional Footballers Association have warned that a 30% cut in their members' wages would damage the NHS as it would reduce the amount...

Owning an IKEA loyalty card doesn’t count as Swedish heritage, disappointed Scots told

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Avid football fans across Scotland were left disappointed earlier today when it was confirmed that membership of IKEA's Family Card scheme does not count as Swedish heritage.  The news comes...

Mighty England’s thrilling World Cup opener – Yeah right!

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England's opening match of the World Cup campaign was as dull as ditchwater proving that the news of Joe Hart's transfer from Man City...

Lib Dems thrilled at prospect of fielding a football team again

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Tim Farron says he's over the moon at being able to field a full football team of MP's. Mr Farron told the Herald. "This is great....

David White follows The Rochdale Herald on Twitter

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The editorial team were said to be jubilant at the news this evening that former England, Leeds and Manchester City centre forward David White...

Wales Seeks Independence as Gareth Bale Doubles Welsh GDP

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Carwyn Jones has changed his mind on Welsh Independence after Gareth Bale’s new contract doubled the GDP of Wales.
Christiano Ronaldo

Just £300,000 a month can feed a footballer for a whole week. Please give...

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It can be harrowing, truly tragic to see, to see a young, athletic, talented man to have to survive in squalid conditions, living on...
Football

Donald Trump congratulates Rochdale AFC on winning Superbowl

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POTATUS, Donald Trump telephoned and congratulated Rochdale AFC on winning the Superbowl on Sunday night. Much to the surprise of club officials. A club spokesman...

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