Moaning Mourinho In Lip Wobble Outburst
The future of games at Old Trafford are in doubt after Manchester United Manager Jose Mourinho demanded the removal of peas from referee's whistles...
Donald Trump congratulates Rochdale AFC on winning Superbowl
POTATUS, Donald Trump telephoned and congratulated Rochdale AFC on winning the Superbowl on Sunday night. Much to the surprise of club officials.
A club spokesman...
Love Island Special – John Terry sacks Agent after he asked to join “that...
John Terry, the legendary back door man and occasional footballer, has sacked his Agent after finding himself trapped in a 1 year contract at...
Urinating Salford goalie earns whole side a place in England’s World Cup squad
Almost the entire Salford lineup have been selected as part of England’s squad for next year’s World Cup, it has emerged. All the English...
Transfer News: Surprise deal Rochdale – Man Utd
Transfer News: In a shock late move, minnows Rochdale have thrashed out a deal with giants Manchester United.
As this weekend brought an end to...
Rochdale footballer in record 198p transfer
Rochdale football star, Wayne "Chopper" Gascoigne has been transferred to Accrington Stanley for a record 198p (€1.77) and a box of steak and onion...
The Beckhams ditch L.A for glorious Rochdale
Today the Herald can exclusively reveal the jaw dropping news that the world's biggest star, glamour model, fashion icon, tireless charity worker and one...
Study finds Manchester United fans have smallest penises
A new survey of football fans has discovered that Manchester United fans have significantly smaller penises than men who follow other teams.
"It's not just...
EFL admits to buying its footballs from a petrol station on Rochdale
The English Football League has admitted buying its footballs from Denny’s Auto Diesel & Spar Mini-Mart on the Bury New Road in Rochdale.
The...
Significantly lower brain function can lead to heading footballs, scientists reveal
Scientists have revealed that significantly lower brain function can lead to being a footballer.
Researchers said they had identified "significantly lower levels of brain function"...
Touching scenes as Rooney reunited with hair transplant donor
Footage has been revealed of the touching scenes when Wayne Rooney was reunited with his hair donor.
The meeting took place on the rock of...
GBBO causes football fracas
It has been revealed that last night's violence at the London stadium was caused when West Ham fans chanted the name of the Bake...
Vatican declares official miracle after England win on penalties
The Vatican has tonight declared an official miracle following England's penalty shootout victory over some goat farmers from Colombia. The victory is the first...
Wales Seeks Independence as Gareth Bale Doubles Welsh GDP
Carwyn Jones has changed his mind on Welsh Independence after Gareth Bale’s new contract doubled the GDP of Wales.
Spurs reassure loyal fans with plan to be shit again by the weekend
Tottenham Hotspur, commonly referred to simply as Tottenham, Spurs, or a word that you really can’t use in an article these days for fear...
FA launch tactical nuclear strike at semi-final of Women’s Euro 2017
The Football Association has long been implacably opposed to the rise of the women’s game. When it first got popular, the FA acted swiftly...




















































