Home Sport Football

Football

Proper footie with a round ball and none of that sissy body armour

Foreigners with British citizenship MUST support England in the football, IT’S THE LAW

0
A Brazilian woman and her South African friend, who have both recently attained British citizenship, have been reported to the authorities after announcing that...
nuclear

FA launch tactical nuclear strike at semi-final of Women’s Euro 2017

0
The Football Association has long been implacably opposed to the rise of the women’s game. When it first got popular, the FA acted swiftly...

Newcastle United fans looking forward to renewed access to match pies and beer

0
The Toon Army are rejoicing following the news that Sports Direct Entrepreneur Sweat Shop owner, Mike Ashley, is to sell the Magpies. Realising that he...
Football Riot

Belgian football riot shows EU is hungry for UK exports says Liam Fox

0
A football riot at a Belgian football match between Anderlecht and Club Brugge demonstrates the hunger for British exports according to Liam Fox. In a...

Lib Dems thrilled at prospect of fielding a football team again

0
Tim Farron says he's over the moon at being able to field a full football team of MP's. Mr Farron told the Herald. "This is great....
England Fans

SHOCK as England fans vote 52 to 48 to LEAVE the World Cup

There is widespread shock around England today after the English voting public voted 52% to 48% for the England football team to leave the...

Significantly lower brain function can lead to heading footballs, scientists reveal

0
Scientists have revealed that significantly lower brain function can lead to being a footballer. Researchers said they had identified "significantly lower levels of brain function"...

New EU rules send shock waves through the terraces

0
New EU rules are set to send shock waves through the football terraces of the UK. According to sources close to the FA, the...

Rochdale AFC Announce Stadium Expansion

0
Rochdale's Spotland stadium is set to unveil a new corporate section "with a difference" above the Willbutts Lane stand, in honour of world famous...

Owning an IKEA loyalty card doesn’t count as Swedish heritage, disappointed Scots told

0
Avid football fans across Scotland were left disappointed earlier today when it was confirmed that membership of IKEA's Family Card scheme does not count as Swedish heritage.  The news comes...
Wayne Rooney

Rooney arrested crying into bottle of 20/20 wearing Man Utd pyjamas

0
My night of 20/20, Man Utd pyjamas and Steradent with mysterious brunette. Everton striker Wayne Rooney has been charged with drink-driving offences in the...

Norway’s female football team found in cocaine-fuelled strip club romp

17
Just hours after the Norwegian football association ruled that female footballer's pay must be brought in line with that of the men's, the entire...

Does my bum look big on top of this broken ambulance?

0
Several women have taken to the top of ambulances in their latest quest for reassurance about their weight Becky Donaldson, 23, is fairly confident she...

Moaning Mourinho In Lip Wobble Outburst

0
The future of games at Old Trafford are in doubt after Manchester United Manager Jose Mourinho demanded the removal of peas from referee's whistles...
Football

England team reveal plan to completely disappoint everyone is going smoothly

0
Gareth Southgate has revealed that his plan to completely disappoint loads of English people is going exactly according to plan. At a press conference Southgate...

Queen gives blessing for Meghan to marry Prince Harry

0
The Queen has signalled her approval for Meghan Markle to marry Prince Harry Kane. Despite her recent wedding to that "Bastard" (sic) ginger grandson of...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts