Wayne Rooney moves from second best team in Manchester to second best team in...
Thatched-roofed footballer Wayne Rooney was yesterday given away by the second best team in Manchester to the second best team in Liverpool.
He moves...
GBBO causes football fracas
It has been revealed that last night's violence at the London stadium was caused when West Ham fans chanted the name of the Bake...
Jose mourinho assures Spain ‘money was just resting in my account’
Jose Mourinho has sought to reassure the Spanish tax office that the £3m he is alleged to owe them in unpaid taxes has in...
God shows that he hates Cristiano Ronaldo and Argentina
God has revealed that he absolutely cannot stand Cristiano Ronaldo so he chose to favour Uruguay in yesterday's last 16 game.
God or, The Word...
Vatican declares official miracle after England win on penalties
The Vatican has tonight declared an official miracle following England's penalty shootout victory over some goat farmers from Colombia. The victory is the first...
Foreigners with British citizenship MUST support England in the football, IT’S THE LAW
A Brazilian woman and her South African friend, who have both recently attained British citizenship, have been reported to the authorities after announcing that...
England team reveal plan to completely disappoint everyone is going smoothly
Gareth Southgate has revealed that his plan to completely disappoint loads of English people is going exactly according to plan.
At a press conference Southgate...
EFL admits to buying its footballs from a petrol station on Rochdale
The English Football League has admitted buying its footballs from Denny’s Auto Diesel & Spar Mini-Mart on the Bury New Road in Rochdale.
The...
Euro 2020 tournament to be played on XBox, UEFA confirms
The European Football Championship 2020 is to be played on XBox, UEFA has told The Rochdale Herald.
In the wake of the Coronavirus pandemic, European...
Lib Dems thrilled at prospect of fielding a football team again
Tim Farron says he's over the moon at being able to field a full football team of MP's. Mr Farron told the Herald.
"This is great....
SHOCK as England fans vote 52 to 48 to LEAVE the World Cup
There is widespread shock around England today after the English voting public voted 52% to 48% for the England football team to leave the...
BT and Sky TV will not allow Nuclear Winter Premiership break
Sky TV and BT TV have both announced that the current Premier League TV rights deal precludes top-tier football a break in the event...
Does my bum look big on top of this broken ambulance?
Several women have taken to the top of ambulances in their latest quest for reassurance about their weight
Becky Donaldson, 23, is fairly confident she...
Mighty England’s thrilling World Cup opener – Yeah right!
England's opening match of the World Cup campaign was as dull as ditchwater proving that the news of Joe Hart's transfer from Man City...
Wales Seeks Independence as Gareth Bale Doubles Welsh GDP
Carwyn Jones has changed his mind on Welsh Independence after Gareth Bale’s new contract doubled the GDP of Wales.
Stormzy shuts up agent after transfer confusion
Following the glaring error made by Irish newspaper, The Herald (no relation) where a picture of the grime MC was used instead of Romelu...


















































