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Significantly lower brain function can lead to heading footballs, scientists reveal

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Scientists have revealed that significantly lower brain function can lead to being a footballer. Researchers said they had identified "significantly lower levels of brain function"...
Football Riot

Belgian football riot shows EU is hungry for UK exports says Liam Fox

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A football riot at a Belgian football match between Anderlecht and Club Brugge demonstrates the hunger for British exports according to Liam Fox. In a...

Rochdale v Spurs – “New tarmac pitch should silence critics” says spokesfootballer

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"I'm prepared to admit that the playing surface wasn't perhaps 110%, but Mr Pinocchio has no right to criticise another club that might not...

Angels Pulverise Shrimpers… Again!

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Rochdale beat Southend United at football yesterday. The game was played over 90 minutes with a break in the middle. Rochdale managed to kick the...

John Terry leaves Villa to spend more time with Wayne Bridge’s family

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John Terry has announced he's leaving Aston Villa today. Terry said he was leaving so that he could spend more time with Wayne Bridge's...
Burnley FC

Police eager to establish if pound coin thrown at Burnley FC player was projectile...

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A Burnley fan who threw a pound coin at Joe Hart is on the run from Police today after authorities claim he is now...
Wayne Rooney

Touching scenes as Rooney reunited with hair transplant donor

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Footage has been revealed of the touching scenes when Wayne Rooney was reunited with his hair donor. The meeting took place on the rock of...

Newcastle United fans looking forward to renewed access to match pies and beer

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The Toon Army are rejoicing following the news that Sports Direct Entrepreneur Sweat Shop owner, Mike Ashley, is to sell the Magpies. Realising that he...

Costa kicks Conte into touch

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Former Chelsea Striker Diego Costa says he did not want to leave the club on bad terms, after being dragged kicking and screaming from...

David White follows The Rochdale Herald on Twitter

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The editorial team were said to be jubilant at the news this evening that former England, Leeds and Manchester City centre forward David White...

Queen gives blessing for Meghan to marry Prince Harry

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The Queen has signalled her approval for Meghan Markle to marry Prince Harry Kane. Despite her recent wedding to that "Bastard" (sic) ginger grandson of...

Does my bum look big on top of this broken ambulance?

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Several women have taken to the top of ambulances in their latest quest for reassurance about their weight Becky Donaldson, 23, is fairly confident she...

Poppies outraged at being hijacked by intolerable, out of touch band of Nationalists.

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The prima-donna XI, also known as the England National football team, have confirmed that they will take to the pitch against Germany this Friday,...

Lukaku leaves second best club in Liverpool for second best club in Manchester

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Lukaku is thought to be worth approximately 50m but has signed for United with an additional premium unofficially known as the 'United surcharge'. Lukaku's...

God shows that he hates Cristiano Ronaldo and Argentina

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God has revealed that he absolutely cannot stand Cristiano Ronaldo so he chose to favour Uruguay in yesterday's last 16 game. God or, The Word...
Bored Football Fan

Spurs reassure loyal fans with plan to be shit again by the weekend

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Tottenham Hotspur, commonly referred to simply as Tottenham, Spurs, or a word that you really can’t use in an article these days for fear...

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