Transport

News is coming in this morning of a terrible incident in central London that has left dozens dead and many hundreds horribly wounded. Eyewitnesses have described a huge steam explosion in Westminster that authorities have...

Sir Horton Brown, head of Southern Rail’s parent Go Ahead and Govia companies is to be replaced this week by the CEO of United Airlines in a bid to improve customer relations. Lord Littleroom, the...

British Airways CEO Alex Cruising has spoken at his joy over the airline being awarded the shambolic Southern Rail Service. "We can do this." He beamed in front of reporters. "We can really utilise the...

Ryanair have today announced that they will start charging depressed passengers for bringing emotional baggage with them onto their flights. The budget airline has said many customers will no longer be able to bring their...

The leader of a country full of hungry and homeless children has pledged to deploy all possible resources to shortening commuting times between Leeds and Manchester by 15 minutes.  "Reducing the time it takes to...

Railway commuters have been told that it will now cost at least one internal organ for them to travel to work this year. Costs are said to be so high many would be better...

Great news for Rochdalians! As of October there are now 4- count em! 4- platforms at the beautiful train station! The new platform - actually a half platform half bay thing: a bayform or a platay?...

26 to 30 year old commuters were said to be jubilant today after Philip Hammond announced that from April 2018 it will be 30% to not get to work with Southern Rail. Philip Hammond told...

Jaguar Land Rover has told employees that by making them redundant they are carrying out the will of the British people. Employee Bill Board told us, "It came as a shock at first and I...

Commuters in Ormskirk were shocked today when a bus driver actually waited at a bus stop to allow a late arriving passenger to sprint down the road and catch her bus. Passengers already seated...

Ryanair's Michael O'Leary has told passengers that the airline will start offering people a punch in the face for as little as £12.99 from next month. In an announcement the airline said, "We were in...

Budget Irish airline Ryanair has fired the first salvo in it's threatened "summer fares war", but instead of cutting fares as everyone expected, CEO Michael O'Leary has surprised the industry by instead cutting the...

London's continued plans to absorb the entirety of Great Britain into the never ending tentacles of its grotesque boundaries were handed a huge boost today. Transport For London excitedly announced news of a deal...

Ryanair have announced today that it is cancelling all flights to Russia in 2018. The move that will be affecting almost no Irish passengers between June and July next year. The low-cost airline described the...

The conservative party proverbial plane has today fallen into a nose drive, falling by 10points in the polls over the weekend. The party's 3 top press correspondence officers have grabbed the emergency parachutes and have bailed out,...

The latest figures covering deaths on American commercial airlines have shown a spectacular rise of OVER 1 MILLION per cent in 2017. The 2016 figure of ZERO deaths has suffered a million per...