Daily Mail reveals that travelling on Virgin trains cures cancer

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In a surprising u-turn, The Daily Mail has reported that travelling on Virgin trains cures cancer. The report comes a week after it was reported...
Ryanair

Ryanair to charge depressed passengers for emotional baggage

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Ryanair have today announced that they will start charging depressed passengers for bringing emotional baggage with them onto their flights. The budget airline has said...

Southern Rail strike to be delayed

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A strike by Southern Rail drivers due on the 9th of January has now been put back until the 10th. "We apologise for the late...
Big Ben Spring

London residents devasted by Uber news

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The news from TFL that taxi firm Uber will lose its licence to operate in London has devastated residents of the city's popular western...
Fast Train

Petition to slow trains to Birmingham to walking pace hits 70 million signatures

A petition to slow down trains headed to Birmingham from London has hit almost 70 million signatures in under two hours today. “Why on Earth...

United Airlines passengers have it easy, complain Ryanair passengers

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Following reports of a United Airlines passenger being violently removed from an overbooked flight on Sunday, angry Ryanair passengers have demanded to know why...
Trucks

Driverless Lorries to throw bottles of piss out of windows and murder hitch-hikers by...

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In a dramatic step of unmanned vehicle technology, unmanned lorries will be distributing litter at motorway junctions and "disappear" young hitchhikers by the end...

Ryanair cancels all flights to Russia

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Ryanair have announced today that it is cancelling all flights to Russia in 2018. The move that will be affecting almost no Irish passengers between...
Ryanair

Birmingham Airport begins Windows 10 update

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Birmingham Airport officials have announced they've accidentally started a Windows 10 update. The update is alleged to have caused the air traffic control centre...
Brexiter

Daily Mail reveal United Airlines assault victim once had an overdue library book

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It has been revealed today that Dr David Dao, the passenger on a United Airlines flight who was beaten for sitting in a seat...
Range Rover

It’s the will of the people – Jaguar Land Rover tells redundant employees

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Jaguar Land Rover has told employees that by making them redundant they are carrying out the will of the British people. Employee Bill Board told...
Southern Rail

British Airways Awarded Southern Rail Franchise

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British Airways CEO Alex Cruising has spoken at his joy over the airline being awarded the shambolic Southern Rail Service. "We can do this." He...

ACEA: No U-Turn on Right-hand Drive Cars

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The European Automobile Manufacturers Association (ACEA: Association des Constructeurs Européens d'Automobiles) looks set to cease the production of right-hand drive vehicles by mid-2019. The decision...

Thomas the Tank Engine Outrage at Sodexit delay

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The normally chipper blue tank engine Thomas has turned to social media to express his outrage at perceived delays in the Island of Sodor...

Ryanair to start offering passengers a punch in the face for £12.99

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Ryanair's Michael O'Leary has told passengers that the airline will start offering people a punch in the face for as little as £12.99 from...

Dozens dead after Chris Grayling attempts to make cup of tea

News is coming in this morning of a terrible incident in central London that has left dozens dead and many hundreds horribly wounded. Eyewitnesses have...

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