Sean Spicer to be the reassuring new voice of Southern Rail

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It was reported this morning that Southern Rail are headhunting Sean Spicer to be the new, reassuring voice of the beleaguered train service. It's thought...
Traffic

Total hero uses hazard warning lights to tell cars behind that cars in front...

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Reports are coming in that a man is being described as a total hero after he used his hazard warning lights to tell the...
Southern Rail

Southern Rail hire United Airlines CEO to improve customer service

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Sir Horton Brown, head of Southern Rail’s parent Go Ahead and Govia companies is to be replaced this week by the CEO of United...

May Day, May Day, we’re going down, Conservatives nose dive in the polls.

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The conservative party proverbial plane has today fallen into a nose drive, falling by 10points in the polls over the weekend. The party's 3 top press...
Ryanair

Ryanair admit their trial of pilotless planes hasn’t gone exactly as planned

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Ryanair have admitted that their latest cost-cutting measure, planes without pilots, has not been a complete success. The airline, famed for its no-frills stance, with...
Fast Train

Petition to slow trains to Birmingham to walking pace hits 70 million signatures

A petition to slow down trains headed to Birmingham from London has hit almost 70 million signatures in under two hours today. “Why on Earth...
Ryanair

Birmingham Airport begins Windows 10 update

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Birmingham Airport officials have announced they've accidentally started a Windows 10 update. The update is alleged to have caused the air traffic control centre...

Daily Mail reveals that travelling on Virgin trains cures cancer

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In a surprising u-turn, The Daily Mail has reported that travelling on Virgin trains cures cancer. The report comes a week after it was reported...

Southern Rail offer Ryanair passengers bus replacement service for cancelled flights

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Budget pay and pray airline, Ryanair have decided to cancel flights due to staff realising their pay and conditions could be significantly improved if...
Big Ben Spring

London residents devasted by Uber news

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The news from TFL that taxi firm Uber will lose its licence to operate in London has devastated residents of the city's popular western...

TERRIFYING new data reveals DANGER of reading Trump tweets about COMMERCIAL AIRLINES.

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The latest figures covering deaths on American commercial airlines have shown a spectacular rise of OVER 1 MILLION per cent in 2017. The...

Dozens dead after Chris Grayling attempts to make cup of tea

News is coming in this morning of a terrible incident in central London that has left dozens dead and many hundreds horribly wounded. Eyewitnesses have...

Socialist FURIOUS that train strike made him late for business meeting

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A self professed "die-hard Socialist" has admitted he's a bit pissed off with railway strikes. Chris P. Bacon told us, "I support the right to...
London Underground Train

TFL confirms London Underground to be extended to Scotland by 2021

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London's continued plans to absorb the entirety of Great Britain into the never ending tentacles of its grotesque boundaries were handed a huge boost...

Theresa May fails fascist dictator litmus test after not getting trains to run on...

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For the second time this week seasonally predictable temperatures have ground the railways to a virtual halt across the south and south-east of England....

Thomas the Tank Engine Outrage at Sodexit delay

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The normally chipper blue tank engine Thomas has turned to social media to express his outrage at perceived delays in the Island of Sodor...

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