Birmingham Airport begins Windows 10 update
Birmingham Airport officials have announced they've accidentally started a Windows 10 update. The update is alleged to have caused the air traffic control centre...
Thomas the Tank Engine Outrage at Sodexit delay
The normally chipper blue tank engine Thomas has turned to social media to express his outrage at perceived delays in the Island of Sodor...
Socialist FURIOUS that train strike made him late for business meeting
A self professed "die-hard Socialist" has admitted he's a bit pissed off with railway strikes.
Chris P. Bacon told us, "I support the right to...
Southern Rail strike to be delayed
A strike by Southern Rail drivers due on the 9th of January has now been put back until the 10th.
"We apologise for the late...
It’s the will of the people – Jaguar Land Rover tells redundant employees
Jaguar Land Rover has told employees that by making them redundant they are carrying out the will of the British people.
Employee Bill Board told...
Theresa May fails fascist dictator litmus test after not getting trains to run on...
For the second time this week seasonally predictable temperatures have ground the railways to a virtual halt across the south and south-east of England....
Total hero uses hazard warning lights to tell cars behind that cars in front...
Reports are coming in that a man is being described as a total hero after he used his hazard warning lights to tell the...
Traffic chaos as ALF steal M62 cat’s eyes
The M62 was plunged into chaos last night following the removal of nearly 500 cat's eyes from the motorway at Junction 20 by the...
Railway commuters told to save money by becoming drug addicts and losing their jobs
Railway commuters have been told that it will now cost at least one internal organ for them to travel to work this year. Costs...
United Airlines passengers have it easy, complain Ryanair passengers
Following reports of a United Airlines passenger being violently removed from an overbooked flight on Sunday, angry Ryanair passengers have demanded to know why...
Ryanair cancel 18,000 flights following huge increase in customer satisfaction
Ryanair have announced the cancellation of 18,000 flights. The cancellations affect 40,000 people with many Rochdale residents hopeful they'll be affected.
A spokesman for Ryanair...
Jo Swinson to present new series of ‘Great British Railway Journeys’
The BBC has announced that Jo Swinson will replace Michael Portillo as host of the show, in much the same way as a smug...
Driverless Lorries to throw bottles of piss out of windows and murder hitch-hikers by...
In a dramatic step of unmanned vehicle technology, unmanned lorries will be distributing litter at motorway junctions and "disappear" young hitchhikers by the end...
Southern Rail passengers treated for nausea after train unexpectedly moves
Reports from south London this afternoon state there was a dramatic and disturbing experience for dozens of Southern passengers when their train actually moved.
The...
Thousands Face Having to go to Work as RMT Calls for Driver Walk-In
Hundreds of thousands of rail passengers face actually going to work as the RMT told Southern Rail employees to actually do their jobs.
Staff will...
Southern Rail whistleblower reveals driving a train ‘piece of piss’ compared to programming washer-dryer.
Following the furore over Philip Hammond's comments over female train drivers, The Rochdale Herald has been contacted by an employee of Southern Rail who...


















































