Michael O’Leary knocks doctor unconscious and drags him onto underbooked Ryanair flight

3
Ryanair CEO Michael O-Leary is in the crosshairs again today amidst allegations that he hit an asian doctor around the back of the head...

Amnesty International petition UN to halt Southern Rail human rights abuses

0
Southern announced today that the endless years of appalling service were over. "We've been building to this moment." Someguywhohatespeoplesaid. "And today I can announce that we're replacing...

Ryanair to start offering passengers a punch in the face for £12.99

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Ryanair's Michael O'Leary has told passengers that the airline will start offering people a punch in the face for as little as £12.99 from...
Ryanair

Ryanair fires first salvo in airline price war by introducing “shrinkflation” routes

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Budget Irish airline Ryanair has fired the first salvo in it's threatened "summer fares war", but instead of cutting fares as everyone expected, CEO...
Traffic

Total hero uses hazard warning lights to tell cars behind that cars in front...

0
Reports are coming in that a man is being described as a total hero after he used his hazard warning lights to tell the...

Southern Rail offer Ryanair passengers bus replacement service for cancelled flights

12
Budget pay and pray airline, Ryanair have decided to cancel flights due to staff realising their pay and conditions could be significantly improved if...

Passengers of runaway train have pointless argument over who should pretend they’re driving

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May means May Passengers on the 11:12 Eurostar return to Britain have had a pointless argument over who is driving.  The train, which is rapidly...

Thomas the Tank Engine Outrage at Sodexit delay

2
The normally chipper blue tank engine Thomas has turned to social media to express his outrage at perceived delays in the Island of Sodor...
Southern Rail

Not getting to work with Southern Rail now 30% cheaper for 27 year olds

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26 to 30 year old commuters were said to be jubilant today after Philip Hammond announced that from April 2018 it will be 30%...

Dozens dead after Chris Grayling attempts to make cup of tea

News is coming in this morning of a terrible incident in central London that has left dozens dead and many hundreds horribly wounded. Eyewitnesses have...
Ryanair

Ryanair trials passengerless planes

0
Following the success of Google's driverless car experiments, Ryanair CEO Michael O'Leary has announced plans to shift the entire airline to passengerless planes. O'Leary said...

Rail Companies to simplify process of deciding which is the worst

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Following recent criticism from the rail regulator, Train operating companies (TOCs) are to make it easier for travellers to decide which has the worst...
Southern Rail

Southern Rail To Unveil New Passengerless Trains By 2018

34
Southern Rail have announced the latest innovation to their transport, passengerless trains. Following the announcement of a move to driverless trains, bosses have decided to...
Trucks

Driverless Lorries to throw bottles of piss out of windows and murder hitch-hikers by...

0
In a dramatic step of unmanned vehicle technology, unmanned lorries will be distributing litter at motorway junctions and "disappear" young hitchhikers by the end...
Ryanair

Ryanair admit their trial of pilotless planes hasn’t gone exactly as planned

1
Ryanair have admitted that their latest cost-cutting measure, planes without pilots, has not been a complete success. The airline, famed for its no-frills stance, with...

Service improves slightly as RMT union goes on strike

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Thousands of commuters are experiencing slightly better service than normal this morning as members of the RMT union have gone on strike. "I knew my...

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