Southern Rail offer Ryanair passengers bus replacement service for cancelled flights
Budget pay and pray airline, Ryanair have decided to cancel flights due to staff realising their pay and conditions could be significantly improved if...
Service improves slightly as RMT union goes on strike
Thousands of commuters are experiencing slightly better service than normal this morning as members of the RMT union have gone on strike.
"I knew my...
Ryanair cancels all flights to Russia
Ryanair have announced today that it is cancelling all flights to Russia in 2018.
The move that will be affecting almost no Irish passengers between...
Sean Spicer to be the reassuring new voice of Southern Rail
It was reported this morning that Southern Rail are headhunting Sean Spicer to be the new, reassuring voice of the beleaguered train service.
It's thought...
Jo Swinson to present new series of ‘Great British Railway Journeys’
The BBC has announced that Jo Swinson will replace Michael Portillo as host of the show, in much the same way as a smug...
Rail Companies to simplify process of deciding which is the worst
Following recent criticism from the rail regulator, Train operating companies (TOCs) are to make it easier for travellers to decide which has the worst...
Driverless Lorries to throw bottles of piss out of windows and murder hitch-hikers by...
In a dramatic step of unmanned vehicle technology, unmanned lorries will be distributing litter at motorway junctions and "disappear" young hitchhikers by the end...
Panicked London train commuters force open doors and flee onto tracks after friendly northerner...
London commuters forced open the doors of a packed rush hour tube train yesterday bringing the train to a complete standstill and causing power...
Birmingham Airport begins Windows 10 update
Birmingham Airport officials have announced they've accidentally started a Windows 10 update. The update is alleged to have caused the air traffic control centre...
Thomas the Tank Engine Outrage at Sodexit delay
The normally chipper blue tank engine Thomas has turned to social media to express his outrage at perceived delays in the Island of Sodor...
Ryanair fires first salvo in airline price war by introducing “shrinkflation” routes
Budget Irish airline Ryanair has fired the first salvo in it's threatened "summer fares war", but instead of cutting fares as everyone expected, CEO...
Not getting to work with Southern Rail now 30% cheaper for 27 year olds
26 to 30 year old commuters were said to be jubilant today after Philip Hammond announced that from April 2018 it will be 30%...
After success with beavers in Scotland, trains to be reintroduced in South of England
Following the success of the reintroduction of beavers to Scotland, experts are planning to repeat the experiment with the rare and previously thought extinct...
British Airways Awarded Southern Rail Franchise
British Airways CEO Alex Cruising has spoken at his joy over the airline being awarded the shambolic Southern Rail Service.
"We can do this." He...
Bus driver not a bastard
Commuters in Ormskirk were shocked today when a bus driver actually waited at a bus stop to allow a late arriving passenger to sprint...
London residents devasted by Uber news
The news from TFL that taxi firm Uber will lose its licence to operate in London has devastated residents of the city's popular western...
















































