Ryanair

Ryanair to charge depressed passengers for emotional baggage

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Ryanair have today announced that they will start charging depressed passengers for bringing emotional baggage with them onto their flights. The budget airline has said...

Bus driver not a bastard

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Commuters in Ormskirk were shocked today when a bus driver actually waited at a bus stop to allow a late arriving passenger to sprint...

Thousands Face Having to go to Work as RMT Calls for Driver Walk-In

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Hundreds of thousands of rail passengers face actually going to work as the RMT told Southern Rail employees to actually do their jobs. Staff will...

ACEA: No U-Turn on Right-hand Drive Cars

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The European Automobile Manufacturers Association (ACEA: Association des Constructeurs Européens d'Automobiles) looks set to cease the production of right-hand drive vehicles by mid-2019. The decision...

Dozens dead after Chris Grayling attempts to make cup of tea

News is coming in this morning of a terrible incident in central London that has left dozens dead and many hundreds horribly wounded. Eyewitnesses have...

TERRIFYING new data reveals DANGER of reading Trump tweets about COMMERCIAL AIRLINES.

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The latest figures covering deaths on American commercial airlines have shown a spectacular rise of OVER 1 MILLION per cent in 2017. The...

New bay platform at Rochdale station opens

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Great news for Rochdalians! As of October there are now 4- count em! 4- platforms at the beautiful train station! The new platform - actually a...
Ryanair

Ryanair fires first salvo in airline price war by introducing “shrinkflation” routes

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Budget Irish airline Ryanair has fired the first salvo in it's threatened "summer fares war", but instead of cutting fares as everyone expected, CEO...
Southern Rail

Not getting to work with Southern Rail now 30% cheaper for 27 year olds

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26 to 30 year old commuters were said to be jubilant today after Philip Hammond announced that from April 2018 it will be 30%...
Range Rover

It’s the will of the people – Jaguar Land Rover tells redundant employees

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Jaguar Land Rover has told employees that by making them redundant they are carrying out the will of the British people. Employee Bill Board told...
Ryanair

Ryanair cancel 18,000 flights following huge increase in customer satisfaction

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Ryanair have announced the cancellation of 18,000 flights. The cancellations affect 40,000 people with many Rochdale residents hopeful they'll be affected. A spokesman for Ryanair...

Thomas the Tank Engine Outrage at Sodexit delay

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The normally chipper blue tank engine Thomas has turned to social media to express his outrage at perceived delays in the Island of Sodor...
Southern Rail

Southern Rail To Unveil New Passengerless Trains By 2018

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Southern Rail have announced the latest innovation to their transport, passengerless trains. Following the announcement of a move to driverless trains, bosses have decided to...
Southern Rail

British Airways Awarded Southern Rail Franchise

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British Airways CEO Alex Cruising has spoken at his joy over the airline being awarded the shambolic Southern Rail Service. "We can do this." He...
Traffic

Total hero uses hazard warning lights to tell cars behind that cars in front...

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Reports are coming in that a man is being described as a total hero after he used his hazard warning lights to tell the...
Daily Mail

“Travelling on virgin trains causes cancer” says Daily Mail

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Health experts for the Daily Mail have revealed new evidence that travelling on Virgin trains causes cancer. Daily Mail columnist, Biff Wellington told us, "We've...

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