Ryanair trials passengerless planes
Following the success of Google's driverless car experiments, Ryanair CEO Michael O'Leary has announced plans to shift the entire airline to passengerless planes.
O'Leary said...
Passengers of runaway train have pointless argument over who should pretend they’re driving
May means May
Passengers on the 11:12 Eurostar return to Britain have had a pointless argument over who is driving. The train, which is rapidly...
ACEA: No U-Turn on Right-hand Drive Cars
The European Automobile Manufacturers Association (ACEA: Association des Constructeurs Européens d'Automobiles) looks set to cease the production of right-hand drive vehicles by mid-2019.
The decision...
Railway commuters told to save money by becoming drug addicts and losing their jobs
Railway commuters have been told that it will now cost at least one internal organ for them to travel to work this year. Costs...
Southern Rail To Unveil New Passengerless Trains By 2018
Southern Rail have announced the latest innovation to their transport, passengerless trains.
Following the announcement of a move to driverless trains, bosses have decided to...
Dozens dead after Chris Grayling attempts to make cup of tea
News is coming in this morning of a terrible incident in central London that has left dozens dead and many hundreds horribly wounded.
Eyewitnesses have...
Southern Rail whistleblower reveals driving a train ‘piece of piss’ compared to programming washer-dryer.
Following the furore over Philip Hammond's comments over female train drivers, The Rochdale Herald has been contacted by an employee of Southern Rail who...
Panicked London train commuters force open doors and flee onto tracks after friendly northerner...
London commuters forced open the doors of a packed rush hour tube train yesterday bringing the train to a complete standstill and causing power...
British Airways Awarded Southern Rail Franchise
British Airways CEO Alex Cruising has spoken at his joy over the airline being awarded the shambolic Southern Rail Service.
"We can do this." He...
Southern Rail hire United Airlines CEO to improve customer service
Sir Horton Brown, head of Southern Rail’s parent Go Ahead and Govia companies is to be replaced this week by the CEO of United...
Total hero uses hazard warning lights to tell cars behind that cars in front...
Reports are coming in that a man is being described as a total hero after he used his hazard warning lights to tell the...
Michael O’Leary knocks doctor unconscious and drags him onto underbooked Ryanair flight
Ryanair CEO Michael O-Leary is in the crosshairs again today amidst allegations that he hit an asian doctor around the back of the head...
Ryanair fires first salvo in airline price war by introducing “shrinkflation” routes
Budget Irish airline Ryanair has fired the first salvo in it's threatened "summer fares war", but instead of cutting fares as everyone expected, CEO...
Southern Rail strike to be delayed
A strike by Southern Rail drivers due on the 9th of January has now been put back until the 10th.
"We apologise for the late...
Southern Rail passengers treated for nausea after train unexpectedly moves
Reports from south London this afternoon state there was a dramatic and disturbing experience for dozens of Southern passengers when their train actually moved.
The...
Theresa May fails fascist dictator litmus test after not getting trains to run on...
For the second time this week seasonally predictable temperatures have ground the railways to a virtual halt across the south and south-east of England....
