Sean Spicer to be the reassuring new voice of Southern Rail
It was reported this morning that Southern Rail are headhunting Sean Spicer to be the new, reassuring voice of the beleaguered train service.
It's thought...
Ryanair trials passengerless planes
Following the success of Google's driverless car experiments, Ryanair CEO Michael O'Leary has announced plans to shift the entire airline to passengerless planes.
O'Leary said...
Petition to slow trains to Birmingham to walking pace hits 70 million signatures
A petition to slow down trains headed to Birmingham from London has hit almost 70 million signatures in under two hours today.
“Why on Earth...
British Airways Awarded Southern Rail Franchise
British Airways CEO Alex Cruising has spoken at his joy over the airline being awarded the shambolic Southern Rail Service.
"We can do this." He...
Passengers of runaway train have pointless argument over who should pretend they’re driving
May means May
Passengers on the 11:12 Eurostar return to Britain have had a pointless argument over who is driving. The train, which is rapidly...
Amnesty International petition UN to halt Southern Rail human rights abuses
Southern announced today that the endless years of appalling service were over.
"We've been building to this moment." Someguywhohatespeoplesaid. "And today
I can announce that we're replacing...
Driverless Lorries to throw bottles of piss out of windows and murder hitch-hikers by...
In a dramatic step of unmanned vehicle technology, unmanned lorries will be distributing litter at motorway junctions and "disappear" young hitchhikers by the end...
TFL confirms London Underground to be extended to Scotland by 2021
London's continued plans to absorb the entirety of Great Britain into the never ending tentacles of its grotesque boundaries were handed a huge boost...
It’s the will of the people – Jaguar Land Rover tells redundant employees
Jaguar Land Rover has told employees that by making them redundant they are carrying out the will of the British people.
Employee Bill Board told...
Southern Rail strike to be delayed
A strike by Southern Rail drivers due on the 9th of January has now been put back until the 10th.
"We apologise for the late...
Birmingham Airport begins Windows 10 update
Birmingham Airport officials have announced they've accidentally started a Windows 10 update. The update is alleged to have caused the air traffic control centre...
Service improves slightly as RMT union goes on strike
Thousands of commuters are experiencing slightly better service than normal this morning as members of the RMT union have gone on strike.
"I knew my...
Rail Companies to simplify process of deciding which is the worst
Following recent criticism from the rail regulator, Train operating companies (TOCs) are to make it easier for travellers to decide which has the worst...
After success with beavers in Scotland, trains to be reintroduced in South of England
Following the success of the reintroduction of beavers to Scotland, experts are planning to repeat the experiment with the rare and previously thought extinct...
Southern Rail To Unveil New Passengerless Trains By 2018
Southern Rail have announced the latest innovation to their transport, passengerless trains.
Following the announcement of a move to driverless trains, bosses have decided to...
Dozens dead after Chris Grayling attempts to make cup of tea
News is coming in this morning of a terrible incident in central London that has left dozens dead and many hundreds horribly wounded.
Eyewitnesses have...
