Bus driver not a bastard
Commuters in Ormskirk were shocked today when a bus driver actually waited at a bus stop to allow a late arriving passenger to sprint...
Southern Rail offer Ryanair passengers bus replacement service for cancelled flights
Budget pay and pray airline, Ryanair have decided to cancel flights due to staff realising their pay and conditions could be significantly improved if...
Driverless Lorries to throw bottles of piss out of windows and murder hitch-hikers by...
In a dramatic step of unmanned vehicle technology, unmanned lorries will be distributing litter at motorway junctions and "disappear" young hitchhikers by the end...
Traffic chaos as ALF steal M62 cat’s eyes
The M62 was plunged into chaos last night following the removal of nearly 500 cat's eyes from the motorway at Junction 20 by the...
Panicked London train commuters force open doors and flee onto tracks after friendly northerner...
London commuters forced open the doors of a packed rush hour tube train yesterday bringing the train to a complete standstill and causing power...
New bay platform at Rochdale station opens
Great news for Rochdalians!
As of October there are now 4- count em! 4- platforms at the beautiful train station!
The new platform - actually a...
Thomas the Tank Engine Outrage at Sodexit delay
The normally chipper blue tank engine Thomas has turned to social media to express his outrage at perceived delays in the Island of Sodor...
May Day, May Day, we’re going down, Conservatives nose dive in the polls.
The conservative party proverbial plane has today fallen into a nose drive, falling by 10points in the polls over the weekend.
The party's 3 top press...
Dozens dead after Chris Grayling attempts to make cup of tea
News is coming in this morning of a terrible incident in central London that has left dozens dead and many hundreds horribly wounded.
Eyewitnesses have...
Ryanair cancel 18,000 flights following huge increase in customer satisfaction
Ryanair have announced the cancellation of 18,000 flights. The cancellations affect 40,000 people with many Rochdale residents hopeful they'll be affected.
A spokesman for Ryanair...
Not getting to work with Southern Rail now 30% cheaper for 27 year olds
26 to 30 year old commuters were said to be jubilant today after Philip Hammond announced that from April 2018 it will be 30%...
Socialist FURIOUS that train strike made him late for business meeting
A self professed "die-hard Socialist" has admitted he's a bit pissed off with railway strikes.
Chris P. Bacon told us, "I support the right to...
Total hero uses hazard warning lights to tell cars behind that cars in front...
Reports are coming in that a man is being described as a total hero after he used his hazard warning lights to tell the...
Railway commuters told to save money by becoming drug addicts and losing their jobs
Railway commuters have been told that it will now cost at least one internal organ for them to travel to work this year. Costs...
Petition to slow trains to Birmingham to walking pace hits 70 million signatures
A petition to slow down trains headed to Birmingham from London has hit almost 70 million signatures in under two hours today.
“Why on Earth...
British Airways Awarded Southern Rail Franchise
British Airways CEO Alex Cruising has spoken at his joy over the airline being awarded the shambolic Southern Rail Service.
"We can do this." He...
