Science and Technology

White heat from the Technology News team: All the latest from the Rochdale and area tech scene

Linkin Park’s poignant question answered

The question posed by Linkin Park all those years ago has been answered and people might not like the answer. According to scientists, who have been researching the question which hadn't been considered before the 90's nu...
iPhone

Rochdale iPhone owner awarded medal after not reminding everybody he has an iPhone for...

Damon McIntyre of Rochdale was awarded a gold medal by his local community this week after managing a whole week without using the phrase “my iPhone” unnecessarily. “It’s been a trying few years for everyone,”...
Theresa May

May gives UK schools education 101

0
Prime Minister Theresa May has heralded education reforms by telling UK schools that there will be "no return to the binary system of the past". The Rochdale Herald has this to say: 01000110 01110101 01100011 01101011...

People who use correct change ‘worse than Hitler’ study finds

People who pay for things using the exact change are "worse than Hitler, Stalin and Piers Morgan combined" according to new research. The study, which was carried out within the head of Rochdale man Kevin...

Man who received double hand transplant can’t wait to “trim his hedge”

The first person in the UK ever to have a double hand transplant has told The Rochdale Herald that he can't wait to get home to "trim his hedge". We bet he can't. Chris King...

1 billion Yahoo users ‘not arsed’ about forgotten Yahoo accounts being hacked

0
Ancient search engine and former email provider, Yahoo, has admitted that 1 billion of its users security has been breached. Yahoo, which was once a multi billion dollar blue chip company is now run by...

Particle physicists admit Hadron Collider has caused slow end of universe

0
It is 2 years since the upgrade and usage of the Relativistic Heavy Ion Collider (RHIC) back in Feb 2014.  Concerns were raised by non-physicists at the time that the experiment to create a quark-gluon...

Yahoo’s Head of IT Security asks Have you tried turning it off then on...

0
The Global Head of IT Security for Yahoo has moved swiftly to support customers and dispel rumours of incompetence. VP of IT Security Brian Hodgkins, a retired PE Teacher from Rochdale, has contacted every Yahoo...

Apple announce the launch of the new iPhone Glitch-delivering all of the ‘Out of...

3
Apple today announced a new generation of iPhone: The iPhone Glitch. The new iPhone Glitch will deliver today all of the update-delivered ‘enhancements’ that customers have previously had to wait for their Warranty to lapse...

Researchers reclassify idiocy as alt-intelligence

Gavin Chappie of Rochdale Community University claims to have made a discovery in the development of AI.  He told the Herald that his theory may have important repercussions in many areas, and is hoping to...

Rochdale cyclist says he’s right about earth being flat

0
A Rochdale cyclist has spent the entire week explaining to people he works with how he knows the Earth is flat. Carl Isles, cycles the ten miles to work and back everyday and still gets...

Parents ask kids to surf net to find solution to spending too much time...

Fresh fears regarding the overuse of the internet by youngsters has emerged, with experts suggesting that it should be compared to fast food. The way for parents to treat the internet when their children...

Rochdale Man wins Nobel Prize for Physics after discovering the Sun is HOT!!!

Joe Griffiths, from Rochdale, has been awarded the Nobel Prize for Physics after discovering the sun is HOT. It turns out that Isaac Newton wasn't the only one to have a scientific epiphany whilst sitting...

Microsoft worker takes Apple to court

Yesterday, a Microsoft employee allegedly got a dressing down from High Court judge, the Right Honorable Justice Antony Smyth-Tomkinson. The employee who we cannot name for legal reasons was serving on the jury in...
Snapchat

Web Removes Facebook From Xmas Card List

The World Wide Web is sulking after Facebook got its birthday wrong.  Facebook flooded feeds with celebratory posts on the 23rd of August claiming the Web was 25 years old on that date. "Bollocks! " the...
Doctor

Eating food causes cancer, says government scientist

This startling fact has now been scientifically proven and published in an official report. Restaurants will be forced to close after it was discovered that many of them actually serve food. Long term study reveals...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts