Cigar Shaped Asteroid Ouamuamua’s violent past hints he’s from Blackburn
Space - Mere months after it was revealed Om.. Oom.. that cigar shaped asteroid, was believed to have come from a distant solar system,...
Team behind the May-Bot to try turning it off and back on again
The Project May-Bot team have announced that due to recent poor performance and unexpected features being noted, they are looking into resetting the May-Bot...
Chaos on Cambridge roads after Sat Navs hold minute silence for Stephen Hawking
There has been chaos today around Cambridge today after all the Sat Navs in the town spontaneously held a minute silence in remembrance of...
Apple announce the launch of the new iPhone Glitch-delivering all of the ‘Out of...
Apple today announced a new generation of iPhone: The iPhone Glitch.
The new iPhone Glitch will deliver today all of the update-delivered ‘enhancements’ that customers...
Buzzfeed pulls ‘Which terrorist group are you?’ quiz after complaints
Entertainment website Buzzfeed has withdrawn its ‘Which terrorist group are you?’ quiz following user complaints. The website removed the quiz on Tuesday afternoon, and...
2016 still killing celebrities
Following the first few weeks of January and the continuation of celebrity deaths, alternative facts and general shitwittery we were granted an exclusive interview...
Scientist confirms it’s impossible to grow potato behind an ear
A top Agricultural scientist at Cambridge University has revealed that potatoes cannot grow behind or even in a persons earlobe. This shock news comes...
Christian groups OUTRAGED as Apple replace Christian emojis with Islamojis
The next update to Apple's iOS devices will feature almost 100 Islamic emojis, dubbed Islamojis, replacing almost all Christian iconography available on the iPhone...
Eating food causes cancer, says government scientist
This startling fact has now been scientifically proven and published in an official report. Restaurants will be forced to close after it was discovered...
Government to tackle loneliness in the elderly by converting them into WiFi hotspots
The government has announced plans to tackle social isolation in the elderly by converting them into WiFi hotspots.
The Department of Digital, Culture, Media &...
Rochdale cyclist says he’s right about earth being flat
A Rochdale cyclist has spent the entire week explaining to people he works with how he knows the Earth is flat.
Carl Isles, cycles the...
Donald Trump’s ego biggest object in known universe, says Professor Brian Cox
Science - Astronomers have the identity of the biggest object in the known universe, and it's not your average - or even above-average -...
Heat from self-righteous can power the world
Scientists at the renowned Rochdale Community University's Social Physics department announced the discovery of a new energy source today.
“We discovered that the heat radiated...
Nightmare for woman who cleans phone screen.
A woman who felt all was well in world and wasn't troubled by current media output was horrified to learn the truth today after...
‘Childhood vaccines prolonged my agonising march towards death’ claims nihilist.
A local nihilist has started a campaign against vaccinations, arguing that they force children to endure the pain and sadness of their futile existence.
Stephen...
Before the ‘Iron Age’ everything was just creased, confirm anthropologists
A team of anthropologists and archaeologists from Rochdale Community College announced their exciting revelation about our ancestors on Thursday. They have confirmed that, before...
