Local scientist proves no link between Marmite and racism
Homegrown boffin and university lecturer Professor Arthur Nidear has today Published his findings after 2 years researching whether the much-loved spread, which is also...
People who use correct change ‘worse than Hitler’ study finds
People who pay for things using the exact change are "worse than Hitler, Stalin and Piers Morgan combined" according to new research.
The study, which...
Man whose toast popped at the same time as his kettle boiled causes black...
A Welshman had a shock today when a black hole opened in his kitchen.
The man, who can't be named because his name is...
Crap internet in rural Scotland and Wales is good for the NHS says Westminster
One in five people, or 20% of the people in large areas of Scotland and Wales have not been online in the last three...
US Government admits covering up red alert over imminent asteroid impact
Scientists and Government sources have confirmed that the giant asteroid, 2016-FI is on course to strike the Northern Hemisphere after initial uncertainty about it's...
Women ‘Not Silly’ groundbreaking study reveals
Women may not be as silly as we first thought, a new study suggests.
Researchers at the Rochdale's Community University observed one hundred female humans...
Smart Energy may help me keep job – says National Grid boss
The new head of the National Grid, Nicola Shaw, has today encouraged consumers to opt for "smart energy" devices which will enable her to...
2016 still killing celebrities
Following the first few weeks of January and the continuation of celebrity deaths, alternative facts and general shitwittery we were granted an exclusive interview...
Parents ask kids to surf net to find solution to spending too much time...
Fresh fears regarding the overuse of the internet by youngsters has emerged, with experts suggesting that it should be compared to fast food. The...
London not centre of Universe say astronomers
In a shock announcement today, astronomers have come out and stated categorically that London is not the centre of the universe.
The BBC's face of...
Dolphins disappear across the globe as Trump Inauguration looms
Oceans across the globe are feeling decidedly odd today after the entire planet's population of porpoises and dolphins completely and utterly disappeared overnight.
"I really...
If we can pay for food we can pay for rockets – say NASA
American space go-getters NASA are said to be up in arms about budget restrictions while there is still enough money available to feed some...
Buzzfeed pulls ‘Which terrorist group are you?’ quiz after complaints
Entertainment website Buzzfeed has withdrawn its ‘Which terrorist group are you?’ quiz following user complaints. The website removed the quiz on Tuesday afternoon, and...
No Plans For Apple Tax to Just Rest in Irish Account
The Irish government and their opposition are in agreement that they shouldn't have to tax corporations after an EU court suggested that perhaps Ireland...
Breaking: Climate Change Inevitable Declare Scientists
A leading group of scientists in the field of climate change and politicians from all over the globe on both the left and the...
Resting Bitch Face to be renamed Resting Just Sick of Your Shit Face
It seems that testing conditions, designed to mimic working in an average open plan office space, may have coloured the subjects' results. "It wasn't that their neutral faces were 'bitchy', just that even within a short time of meeting us, they were already just sick of our shit."
