Science and Technology

Women may not be as silly as we first thought, a new study suggests. Researchers at the Rochdale's Community University observed one hundred female humans over ninety minutes and found that a 'statistically significant' number...

A Bolton man says he fears that 5 aside football pitch flood light is actually a secret 5G mast that will cause him to develop cancer. 38 year old Bill Board told us that...

Tech giant Apple has refused to comment on reports that customers will be forced to replace their own eyes if they want to use the new iPhone 9, which will be sold WITHOUT a screen.  The rumours, which come less than a month before the company...

Joe Griffiths, from Rochdale, has been awarded the Nobel Prize for Physics after discovering the sun is HOT. It turns out that Isaac Newton wasn't the only one to have a scientific epiphany whilst sitting...

Scientists at Bideford University have claimed that the recent epidemic of Veganism can be stopped if victims receive treatment in the early stages of the disease. The disease is particularly widespread in London and the...

American space go-getters NASA are said to be up in arms about budget restrictions while there is still enough money available to feed some children 3 meals a day. "We're never going to put a...

Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University's Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed, among the membership of right-wing groups. Doctor Jean Splicer, 42, has...

Scientists from the Institute For Politicised Childhoods have announced the results of extensive testing, on toddlers, in laboratories. "They're all Conservatives, by and large." Dr. Bee Levermen revealed. "We had this hypothesis and we set...

Tony Blair woke this morning to find himself in the enviable position of a second chance at his legacy with the announcement the clocks are going back not one hour, but a full twenty...

28.2E Astra2/Eurobird1 may not mean anything to most people, but it is very much in the minds of worried Rochdale residents who have recently learned that the high-tech TV satellite is expected to fall...

Gobsmacked attendees at the inaugural CES (Consumer Electronics Show) at Burnley Community Centre looked on in awe as Samsung unveiled its Galaxy S1 mobile phone to the northern town. One open-mouthed spectator, Stanley Onions,...

The new Apple iOS update is to include a new autocorrect function for words such as muslin, briton and rasict. Computer giants and tax dodging bastards Apple have confirmed that the next update for its...

19 year old student, Gary Downes, showed his Grandad Terance his new Samsung Galaxy S7 last week. "I was showing him all the latest cool features, the new camera, a few apps and the clarity...

Following the first few weeks of January and the continuation of celebrity deaths, alternative facts and general shitwittery we were granted an exclusive interview with 2017 itself. In a world first we spoke to the...

Yesterday, a Microsoft employee allegedly got a dressing down from High Court judge, the Right Honorable Justice Antony Smyth-Tomkinson. The employee who we cannot name for legal reasons was serving on the jury in...

With the ordeal of four years of President Trump looming over the horizon millions of Americans have applied to be cryogenically frozen for his term in office. “I think it's the only way I’m going to get...