NHS partner with WhatsApp to reboot IT project
In a move to reduce costs and breathe new life into the long-abandoned £11.4 billion Centralised Records System, the NHS has announced a partnership...
2016 still killing celebrities
Following the first few weeks of January and the continuation of celebrity deaths, alternative facts and general shitwittery we were granted an exclusive interview...
South African Scientist Discovers Free Non-Polluting Energy Source
Imagine the scenario: you are in a pub, when a local starts spouting racist nonsense. You have an overwhelming desire to stand up and...
NHS Test and Trace Centre discovered on Venus
A Rochdale resident has discovered the existence of an NHS Test and Trace Centre on the surface of Venus. Scientists believe that the existence...
Resting Bitch Face to be renamed Resting Just Sick of Your Shit Face
It seems that testing conditions, designed to mimic working in an average open plan office space, may have coloured the subjects' results. "It wasn't that their neutral faces were 'bitchy', just that even within a short time of meeting us, they were already just sick of our shit."
Tests prove evolution has stopped among UKIP supporters
Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University’s Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed,...
Brian Cox Announced As New President Of Flat Earth Society
Both the scientific and pseudo-scientific communities express a modicum of shock as tousle-haired synth-pop supremo and thinking housewives favourite Professor Brian Cox is sworn...
Government that can’t afford to electrify TransPennine Express announces plans for a space program
The Government has announced a vague and ill thought out plan to start a space program instead of electrifying the TransPennine Express railway line.
A...
Team behind the May-Bot to try turning it off and back on again
The Project May-Bot team have announced that due to recent poor performance and unexpected features being noted, they are looking into resetting the May-Bot...
Engineer designs pram that fits in boot of car
Rumours are circulating around the World's scientific community that the man who has designed a pram that fits in the boot of a car...
Particle physicists admit Hadron Collider has caused slow end of universe
It is 2 years since the upgrade and usage of the Relativistic Heavy Ion Collider (RHIC) back in Feb 2014.
Concerns were raised by non-physicists...
Tangled wires defy all laws of physics, confirm scientists
A study has proven that any one wire left unattended for 5 minutes, will tangle itself beyond the laws of physics.
The physics department of...
Rochdale scientists breed Christmas ‘turkberry’
Top food scientists say they are 'very close' to successfully breeding a turkey with a cranberry bush.
The new 'turkberry' hybrid bush-bird could be on...
Theresa May’s Incompetence, Like Great Wall of China, ‘now visible from the Moon’
NASA Astronauts have confirmed that Theresa May's staggering incompetence has joined the Great Wall of China as the second man-made object to be visible...
New Technology Foils Illegal Immigrants
In conjunction with the British Government-funded wall in Calais, British officials are working with maritime consultants on methods to physically prevent illegal immigrants from...
20 a day smoker worried 5G mast will give him cancer
A Bolton man says he fears that 5 aside football pitch flood light is actually a secret 5G mast that will cause him to...
