Science and Technology

There has been chaos today around Cambridge today after all the Sat Navs in the town spontaneously held a minute silence in remembrance of brilliant physicist Stephen Hawking. The traffic was particularly dreadful around junction...

The next update to Apple's iOS devices will feature almost 100 Islamic emojis, dubbed Islamojis, replacing almost all Christian iconography available on the iPhone 7. The move has been slammed by Christian critics of Apple...

A study has proven that any one wire left unattended for 5 minutes, will tangle itself beyond the laws of physics.  The physics department of Rochdale Community University under lead scientist Professor Duane Dibbley, carried...

A Bolton man says he fears that 5 aside football pitch flood light is actually a secret 5G mast that will cause him to develop cancer. 38 year old Bill Board told us that...

Amidst growing concern from the internet's top pseudo-scientists about the risks posed by mobile technology, yet another coal has been added to the fire. According to the prominent YouTuber Hope L'Scase, long-term exposure to massive...

Rochdale residents have been angered by a DNA profiling study that showed that many weren't descendants of native Rochdaleans at all. The study, run by Rochdale Community University, was attended by a large array of...

The much loved character was played by the very youthful looking 83 year old Scientist, Actor and Professor Brian Cox who sadly passed away earlier today. Cox was a genius of comedy timing and a...

Some of Britain's top scientists have issued a stark warning ahead of the long-awaited rollout of 5G mobile networks across the country. In an exclusive interview via Skype, Professor Ray D. Yates of Rochdale Community...

Wayne Cummings has beaten off stiff competition from brothers Wayne Kerr and Yiwen Kerr to slide into interim role as Bellend-in-Chief of the UK's leading far right hate group, Britain First. In the seminal 1985...

Oceans across the globe are feeling decidedly odd today after the entire planet's population of porpoises and dolphins completely and utterly disappeared overnight. "I really can't understand it," said Oceanographer at Florida's famous Sea World,...

Both the scientific and pseudo-scientific communities express a modicum of shock as tousle-haired synth-pop supremo and thinking housewives favourite Professor Brian Cox is sworn in as the new president of Flat Earth Society. Establishment figureheads...

Our foreign correspondent Miffy Bigboots reports from South London. A man at a loose end over the weekend changed his opinion on virtually everything after watching 13 hrs of YouTube videos. Village idiot John Hardwick, unemployed...

A Rochdale resident has discovered the existence of an NHS Test and Trace Centre on the surface of Venus. Scientists believe that the existence of such a centre to be linked to emissions observed...

Scientists at Bideford University have claimed that the recent epidemic of Veganism can be stopped if victims receive treatment in the early stages of the disease. The disease is particularly widespread in London and the...

Donald Trump has today given a speech suggesting that it's the 50th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln walking on Mars. A spokesman for POTATUS said, "POTATUS meant to mark 50 years since Neil Armstrong walked...

Space - Mere months after it was revealed Om.. Oom.. that cigar shaped asteroid, was believed to have come from a distant solar system, the world of science has been rocked with the news...