Science and Technology

The Daily Mail has today announced that school pupils in England should be taught anatomy using the dead bodies of their previously living teachers. In an article entitled, 'Let our teachers be heros' ...

Scientists around the World have finally conceded that the Earth is most probably not a completely flat disc after all. Research conducted at the University of Oxford has proven conclusively that a cat on a...

Some of Britain's top scientists have issued a stark warning ahead of the long-awaited rollout of 5G mobile networks across the country. In an exclusive interview via Skype, Professor Ray D. Yates of Rochdale Community...

Barbara Streizzand has used her fame as a has been screecher and ex-movie star to get Apple to alter the way Siri pronounces the old cod's name. Strezzzand, who is 104 years old, has...

Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University's Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed, among the membership of right-wing groups. Doctor Jean Splicer, 42, has...

Damon McIntyre of Rochdale was awarded a gold medal by his local community this week after managing a whole week without using the phrase “my iPhone” unnecessarily. “It’s been a trying few years for everyone,”...

Wayne Cummings has beaten off stiff competition from brothers Wayne Kerr and Yiwen Kerr to slide into interim role as Bellend-in-Chief of the UK's leading far right hate group, Britain First. In the seminal 1985...

This startling fact has now been scientifically proven and published in an official report. Restaurants will be forced to close after it was discovered that many of them actually serve food. Long term study reveals...

Rochdale residents have been angered by a DNA profiling study that showed that many weren't descendants of native Rochdaleans at all. The study, run by Rochdale Community University, was attended by a large array of...

WikiLeaks revelations that GCHQ has hacked into Samsung smart TV sets to turn them into listening devices has revealed some fascinating facts impacting on national security. A GCHQ spokesman said that operation Weeping Angel has...

The World Wide Web is sulking after Facebook got its birthday wrong.  Facebook flooded feeds with celebratory posts on the 23rd of August claiming the Web was 25 years old on that date. "Bollocks! " the...

Scientists from the University of Kiev have issued a stark warning to people all over the world about the dangers of wearing Ukrainian undercrackers.

Scientists have devised a new unit to measure inactivity that they're calling the Corbyn. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College told us, "We've been trying for some time to come up with a measure of...

In conjunction with the British Government-funded wall in Calais, British officials are working with maritime consultants on methods to physically prevent illegal immigrants from boarding ships. In the ongoing battle to protect Britain from hordes...

Oceans across the globe are feeling decidedly odd today after the entire planet's population of porpoises and dolphins completely and utterly disappeared overnight. "I really can't understand it," said Oceanographer at Florida's famous Sea World,...

The new Apple iOS update is to include a new autocorrect function for words such as muslin, briton and rasict. Computer giants and tax dodging bastards Apple have confirmed that the next update for its...