With the ordeal of four years of President Trump looming over the horizon millions of Americans have applied to be cryogenically frozen for his term in office.
“I think it’s the only way I’m going to get through the next four years,” explained Alexandra, a Clinton voter from California. “I’ve done some research into it, and although there are some minor issues remaining with it – like I might die – it is a risk I am willing to take in order to avoid the alternative.”
The alternative in question being the four year term with long-form birth certificate fan Donald Trump as President that seems increasingly likely to be dominated by divisive policy decisions curtailing the rights of anyone who isn’t white, straight, male and Christian.
“On the off chance I do survive, I’m a little scared of what I might wake up to,” Alexandra told The Rochdale Herald. “I’ve researched the 1950s, so it should be less of a shock.”
However, with an unprecedented number of applicants and only a limited number of cryogenic chambers nationwide it is unlikely that everyone looking to skip the next four years will be able to. If Alexandra is unable to secure a cryogenic chamber she has a backup plan.
“I’m just going to throw myself into a lake in Minnesota and hope for the best.”