Science and Technology

White heat from the Technology News team: All the latest from the Rochdale and area tech scene

No need for Artificial Intelligence, say robots

Robots at Rochdale Community University maintain that advancements in Artificial Intelligence (AI) are not necessary. I was invited to meet Robbie, a MK VII Hawking series robot, at the University's science lab last week.

Samsung to rebrand Galaxy as the Supernova

Samsung made a shock announcement at the weekends major technology event, TERD (Technology, Electronics RochDale), which was held at the former site of The...

Microsoft to finally stop buggering about with Windows

Microsoft have announced today that they have finally finished fannying about with Windows and Microsoft Office. The news has been met with widespread concern by...

5G spreads bullshit 10 times faster than 4G say experts

Some of Britain's top scientists have issued a stark warning ahead of the long-awaited rollout of 5G mobile networks across the country. In an exclusive...

60 million Americans explore cryogenic freezing to escape Trump

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With the ordeal of four years of President Trump looming over the horizon millions of Americans have applied to be cryogenically frozen for his term in...
Scientists

Scientists announce new Corbyn scale that measures inactivity

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Scientists have devised a new unit to measure inactivity that they're calling the Corbyn. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College told us, "We've been trying...

Trump marks 50 years since Abraham Lincoln walked on Mars

Donald Trump has today given a speech suggesting that it's the 50th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln walking on Mars. A spokesman for POTATUS said,...

Smart Energy may help me keep job – says National Grid boss

The new head of the National Grid, Nicola Shaw,  has today encouraged consumers to opt for "smart energy" devices which will enable her to...

iPhone users left feeling cheated

Thousands of iPhone users around the globe were left feeling cheated this week as they eagerly awaited news of the latest model from technology...

BBC in new accusations of bias

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Following the release of a teaser for the upcoming Star Wars VIII documentary film, the BBC has been accused of heavy bias towards the...

Atheists pilgrimage to Dawkins’ home after Darwin appears on toast

Hundreds of atheists have laid siege to the home of renowned ethnologist and evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins after he reported finding an image of...

Plans for Trident found wrapped around a portion of chips

Detailed plans of the Vanguard submarine and Trident nuclear defence system have been discovered in Haywood. It's not currently clear how the detailed specification drawings and...

Stephen Hawking hasn’t got a leg to stand on, says Jeremy Hunt

Health Secretary Jeremy C. Hunt has responded to Hawking's criticism of NHS reforms in a series of tweets, which are pompous even by Hunt's...

Climate change deniers blame solar panels for sucking all the light out of the...

Climate change deniers took to social media today to decry the damage being done by solar panels to the sun, which they blame for...

Woman killed by drinking mineral water 15 minutes older than best before date

A Rochdale resident was found dead at home today after consuming a bottle of water 15 minutes past its expiry date. Police told the Herald that...

Local scientist proves no link between Marmite and racism

Homegrown boffin and university lecturer Professor Arthur Nidear has today Published his findings after 2 years researching whether the much-loved spread, which is also...

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