Farage either ‘Innumerate’ or ‘Hypocritical Dickwad’ says Brian Cox
Nigel Farage is either blind to numbers or being a massive hypocrite, according to Professor Brian Cox, the eminent almost-Rochdale scientist.
"Farage has spent months...
Anagramologists discover Conservatives is an anagram of voters cave in
Only Theresa May can effectively negotiate Brexit, according to Tories.
"Obviously with all 27 EU nations being absolutely united and holding all the cards," explained...
Aliens call off attack due to lack of funny title for this article
Giant brain-sucking aliens from the R33-Delta 1 Q’Luurfb system have put back their planned invasion of the planet Earth we can exclusively reveal today.
The...
Rochdale residents anger as DNA test reveals some are 60% potato
Rochdale residents have been angered by a DNA profiling study that showed that many weren't descendants of native Rochdaleans at all.
The study, run by...
Two kids remember something – proves some hippy shit totally
With all the scientific rigour of a hippy Merlin with a bone through his nose, the BBC headlines recently included the assertion that the...
Fruit salad cancer risk
Fruit salads may cause cancer, top Latvian scientists have found. The study, published in Eat My Carcinoma, has sent shockwaves through fruit communities and...
Plans for Trident found wrapped around a portion of chips
Detailed plans of the Vanguard submarine and Trident nuclear defence system have been discovered in Haywood.
It's not currently clear how the detailed specification drawings and...
Before the ‘Iron Age’ everything was just creased, confirm anthropologists
A team of anthropologists and archaeologists from Rochdale Community College announced their exciting revelation about our ancestors on Thursday. They have confirmed that, before...
Buzzfeed pulls ‘Which terrorist group are you?’ quiz after complaints
Entertainment website Buzzfeed has withdrawn its ‘Which terrorist group are you?’ quiz following user complaints. The website removed the quiz on Tuesday afternoon, and...
Team behind the May-Bot to try turning it off and back on again
The Project May-Bot team have announced that due to recent poor performance and unexpected features being noted, they are looking into resetting the May-Bot...
Christians, Muslims, Satanists Opposed To Pokemon Go
Following the UK release of Pokemon Go ten days ago, several prominent spokespersons for leading UK religious organisations have spoken out, condemning the game...
Government Set to Outlaw Prime Numbers
In a surprise announcement this morning, it has emerged that the Government has released a White Paper aimed at criminalising the use of prime...
Brexit Party set for MEP gains. Scientists bring pig brains back from the dead
Early opinion polls show a likely overall victory for the Brexit Party in the upcoming European Parliament elections. Scientists have restored brain activity to...
Taking are speling back!
The new Apple iOS update is to include a new autocorrect function for words such as muslin, briton and rasict.
Computer giants and tax dodging...
Irish Garda stalk Stephen Hawking in Richard Dawkins blasphemy mix up
After the recent news that Stephen Fry is to be stoned to death by Irish authorities for calling God 'a bit of dick', the Irish...
GCHQ Samsung smart TV hack reveals threat to UK
WikiLeaks revelations that GCHQ has hacked into Samsung smart TV sets to turn them into listening devices has revealed some fascinating facts impacting on...
