‘How many roads must a man walk down before he can call himself a...
Researchers have proved that the number of roads a man must walk down before you call him a man is greater than, or equal...
Aliens call off attack due to lack of funny title for this article
Giant brain-sucking aliens from the R33-Delta 1 Q’Luurfb system have put back their planned invasion of the planet Earth we can exclusively reveal today.
The...
Rochdale residents anger as DNA test reveals some are 60% potato
Rochdale residents have been angered by a DNA profiling study that showed that many weren't descendants of native Rochdaleans at all.
The study, run by...
Being a tosser won’t stop you getting rich, scientist claims
Anders Farkenobbviarrs, head of research at the Norway Institute of Selfish Prick-like Behavior in Trondheim said “Loads of rich, successful people are total fuckers,...
Outcry as Moon to get 4G before Burnley
There was protest in East Lancashire today, as plans by Vodafone & Nokia to launch a 4G mobile network on the lunar surface from...
May gives UK schools education 101
Prime Minister Theresa May has heralded education reforms by telling UK schools that there will be "no return to the binary system of the...
Brian Cox concedes Earth is flat after spotting massive rounding error
Astrophysicists around or rather, across the world are in turmoil after Oldham-born pop-rock sensation, Professor Brian Cox today admitted that the Earth is...
Monkey With Typewriter Writes ‘Donald Trump Is An Orangutan In A Suit’
There was great excitement at the Royal Institute For Statistical Improbability today.
Beppo, one of the infinite number of monkeys with typewriters trying to type...
Cigar Shaped Asteroid Ouamuamua’s violent past hints he’s from Blackburn
Space - Mere months after it was revealed Om.. Oom.. that cigar shaped asteroid, was believed to have come from a distant solar system,...
Patriots actually just thick twats scientists prove
Scientists at Rochdale's Community University have proven conclusively that people identifying themselves on social media as "Patriots" are actually just thick twats.
Theresa May’s credibility leaves solar system
Theresa May's credibility has become the third human-made object to travel into interstellar space less than two years after her mission began.
It passed through...
Dolphins disappear across the globe as Trump Inauguration looms
Oceans across the globe are feeling decidedly odd today after the entire planet's population of porpoises and dolphins completely and utterly disappeared overnight.
"I really...
Apple to move to Battersea iStation
Apple have announced this week that they will be basing their future British tax evasion projects at South London's Battersea Power Station.
Mayor Sadiq Khan...
Supermoon is even bigger than your mum’s backside
Content creators and tabloids are celebrating this week as the Supermoon article market shows little sign of slowing.
"It's kinda the opposite of the so-called...
Women ‘Not Silly’ groundbreaking study reveals
Women may not be as silly as we first thought, a new study suggests.
Researchers at the Rochdale's Community University observed one hundred female humans...
Study finds link between hair loss and racism.
Researchers at Rochdale Community University have uncovered the first clear links between racism and hair loss among men.
In an in depth study lasting nearly...
