Science and Technology

White heat from the Technology News team: All the latest from the Rochdale and area tech scene

Breaking: Climate Change Inevitable Declare Scientists

A leading group of scientists in the field of climate change and politicians from all over the globe on both the left and the...

Physicist angry that with infinite universes, he got one with Trump in it

A failed physicist and lapsed university lecturer has lamented online about his inner anxieties.

Apple announce the launch of the new iPhone Glitch-delivering all of the ‘Out of...

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Apple today announced a new generation of iPhone: The iPhone Glitch. The new iPhone Glitch will deliver today all of the update-delivered ‘enhancements’ that customers...
Scientists

Scientist confirms it’s impossible to grow potato behind an ear

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A top Agricultural scientist at Cambridge University has revealed that potatoes cannot grow behind or even in a persons earlobe. This shock news comes...
Illegal Immigrants boarding ship

New Technology Foils Illegal Immigrants

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In conjunction with the British Government-funded wall in Calais, British officials are working with maritime consultants on methods to physically prevent illegal immigrants from...
Brian Cox

Donald Trump’s ego biggest object in known universe, says Professor Brian Cox

Science - Astronomers have the identity of the biggest object in the known universe, and it's not your average - or even above-average -...

Nobel Prize winning Physicist trying to delete U2’s album from iTunes

One of the winners of the 2019 Nobel Prize in Physics, Michel Mayor has told the Rochdale Herald that despite his award being announced...
Women research team at Rochdale's Community University

Women ‘Not Silly’ groundbreaking study reveals

Women may not be as silly as we first thought, a new study suggests. Researchers at the Rochdale's Community University observed one hundred female humans...

Stephen Hawking hasn’t got a leg to stand on, says Jeremy Hunt

Health Secretary Jeremy C. Hunt has responded to Hawking's criticism of NHS reforms in a series of tweets, which are pompous even by Hunt's...

Cats growing increasingly desperate to find cure for Coronavirus

Pet cats have announced that they're ramping up their efforts to find a cure for Coronavirus as many find they're now forced to spend...
Cave Painting

Before the ‘Iron Age’ everything was just creased, confirm anthropologists

A team of anthropologists and archaeologists from Rochdale Community College announced their exciting revelation about our ancestors on Thursday. They have confirmed that, before...

Tests prove evolution has stopped among UKIP supporters

Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University’s Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed,...

EXCLUSIVE: Apple customers will be forced to install ‘iBalls’ to use new SCREENLESS iPhone...

Tech giant Apple has refused to comment on reports that customers will be forced to replace their own eyes if they want to use the new iPhone 9, which will be sold...

Computer driven people are a menace say self-driven cars

Over the last ten years or so, humans have been becoming more and more computer-driven. Cars are speaking out against this worrying trend. In a...

Tests prove evolution has stopped among UKIP supporters

Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University's Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed,...
Scientists

Scientists announce new Corbyn scale that measures inactivity

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Scientists have devised a new unit to measure inactivity that they're calling the Corbyn. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College told us, "We've been trying...

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