Joe Griffiths, from Rochdale, has been awarded the Nobel Prize for Physics after discovering the sun is HOT.
It turns out that Isaac Newton wasn’t the only one to have a scientific epiphany whilst sitting in his garden. It’s thought this valuable insight will rewrite the laws of physics, as someone understands them.
Apparently, Joe was sitting in his garden, enjoying a beer, when he suddenly exclaimed, “Bloody hell, that sun is hot”.
Mr Griffiths explained, “Like all scientific discoveries, once something is understood, everything seems so simple and you wonder how you could have thought anything different. I was just sitting back, looking up and I went “Phew!” It was at that moment it struck me that the heat was coming from the giant shining yellow ball. It’s funny really, everyone goes around repeatedly saying “That sun is hot”, but no-one ever takes these old wives tales seriously.”
He went on to add “I am hoping my formula, explaining this discovery, Sh = It (Sun Heat = Increasing Temperatures), will become as widely known as E=MC2.”
NASA confirmed the findings, saying “We couldn’t believe it when he called and told us the Sun was HOT!. It was not in our data, or any of our literature. We’ve been to the moon and we know it is freezing there, but the fact that the Sun is HOT, who would have thought it?”
Friends of Joe were very surprised to learn he was to be awarded the Nobel Prize. Chris said “Yes, I was stunned, I had no idea he was interested in anything scientific. All he seemed interested in is motor-bike magazines.”
A popular Professor of Astrophysics said “Fuck it, you spend all your adult life trying to unravel the mysteries of the cosmos and some joker comes up with the answer to, ‘Where does all the heat come from?, while sitting in his garden drinking a beer. Well bollocks to it all, I’m off to the pub.”
Experts at CERN have claimed this is the discovery of the age and that all of their fancy equations are going to have to be rewritten.