Science and Technology

White heat from the Technology News team: All the latest from the Rochdale and area tech scene

Laptop

Laptop finishes update in time for the weekend

An office worker in Rochdale is celebrating this evening after his laptop finally finished updating just in time for the weekend. Dave Bloke from Milnrow...
Scientists

‘How many roads must a man walk down before he can call himself a...

Researchers have proved that the number of roads a man must walk down before you call him a man is greater than, or equal...

Local scientist proves no link between Marmite and racism

Homegrown boffin and university lecturer Professor Arthur Nidear has today Published his findings after 2 years researching whether the much-loved spread, which is also...
Doctor

Eating food causes cancer, says government scientist

This startling fact has now been scientifically proven and published in an official report. Restaurants will be forced to close after it was discovered...

Rochdale cyclist says he’s right about earth being flat

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A Rochdale cyclist has spent the entire week explaining to people he works with how he knows the Earth is flat. Carl Isles, cycles the...
Tangled Wires

Tangled wires defy all laws of physics, confirm scientists

A study has proven that any one wire left unattended for 5 minutes, will tangle itself beyond the laws of physics.  The physics department of...

Microsoft worker takes Apple to court

Yesterday, a Microsoft employee allegedly got a dressing down from High Court judge, the Right Honorable Justice Antony Smyth-Tomkinson. The employee who we cannot...

Samsung unveil S1 at Burnley Tech Conference along with steam iron and Flymo

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Gobsmacked attendees at the inaugural CES (Consumer Electronics Show) at Burnley Community Centre looked on in awe as Samsung unveiled its Galaxy S1 mobile...
Women research team at Rochdale's Community University

Women ‘Not Silly’ groundbreaking study reveals

Women may not be as silly as we first thought, a new study suggests. Researchers at the Rochdale's Community University observed one hundred female humans...
Brian Cox

Donald Trump’s ego biggest object in known universe, says Professor Brian Cox

Science - Astronomers have the identity of the biggest object in the known universe, and it's not your average - or even above-average -...

Plans for Trident found wrapped around a portion of chips

Detailed plans of the Vanguard submarine and Trident nuclear defence system have been discovered in Haywood. It's not currently clear how the detailed specification drawings and...

Outcry as Moon to get 4G before Burnley

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There was protest in East Lancashire today, as plans by Vodafone & Nokia to launch a 4G mobile network on the lunar surface from...
Fruit Salad

Fruit salad cancer risk

Fruit salads may cause cancer, top Latvian scientists have found. The study, published in Eat My Carcinoma, has sent shockwaves through fruit communities and...
Doctor

Veganism can be cured claim scientists

Scientists at Bideford University have claimed that the recent epidemic of Veganism can be stopped if victims receive treatment in the early stages of...
Brian Cox's Flat Earth

Brian Cox concedes Earth is flat after spotting massive rounding error

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Astrophysicists around or rather, across the world are in turmoil after Oldham-born pop-rock sensation, Professor Brian Cox today admitted that the Earth is...

BBC in new accusations of bias

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Following the release of a teaser for the upcoming Star Wars VIII documentary film, the BBC has been accused of heavy bias towards the...

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