Science and Technology

White heat from the Technology News team: All the latest from the Rochdale and area tech scene

Brian Cox

London not centre of Universe say astronomers

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In a shock announcement today, astronomers have come out and stated categorically that London is not the centre of the universe. The BBC's face of...

Rochdale Man wins Nobel Prize for Physics after discovering the Sun is HOT!!!

Joe Griffiths, from Rochdale, has been awarded the Nobel Prize for Physics after discovering the sun is HOT. It turns out that Isaac Newton wasn't...
iPhone

Rochdale iPhone owner awarded medal after not reminding everybody he has an iPhone for...

Damon McIntyre of Rochdale was awarded a gold medal by his local community this week after managing a whole week without using the phrase...
Rochdale

Rochdale residents anger as DNA test reveals some are 60% potato

Rochdale residents have been angered by a DNA profiling study that showed that many weren't descendants of native Rochdaleans at all. The study, run by...

Elderly people left speechless after discovering smart phone can make tea

19 year old student, Gary Downes, showed his Grandad Terance his new Samsung Galaxy S7 last week. "I was showing him all the latest cool...

Man whose toast popped at the same time as his kettle boiled causes black...

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A Welshman had a shock today when a black hole opened in his kitchen. The man, who can't be named because his name is...

Nobel Prize winning Physicist trying to delete U2’s album from iTunes

One of the winners of the 2019 Nobel Prize in Physics, Michel Mayor has told the Rochdale Herald that despite his award being announced...

Tests prove evolution has stopped among UKIP supporters

Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University's Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed,...

Computer driven people are a menace say self-driven cars

Over the last ten years or so, humans have been becoming more and more computer-driven. Cars are speaking out against this worrying trend. In a...

Physicist angry that with infinite universes, he got one with Trump in it

A failed physicist and lapsed university lecturer has lamented online about his inner anxieties.

Crap internet in rural Scotland and Wales is good for the NHS says Westminster

One in five people, or 20% of the people in large areas of Scotland and Wales have not been online in the last three...
Deep Space

Theresa May’s credibility leaves solar system

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Theresa May's credibility has become the third human-made object to travel into interstellar space less than two years after her mission began. It passed through...
If we can pay for food we can pay for rockets - say NASA

If we can pay for food we can pay for rockets – say NASA

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American space go-getters NASA are said to be up in arms about budget restrictions while there is still enough money available to feed some...

Buzzfeed pulls ‘Which terrorist group are you?’ quiz after complaints

Entertainment website Buzzfeed has withdrawn its ‘Which terrorist group are you?’ quiz following user complaints. The website removed the quiz on Tuesday afternoon, and...
Red and green nebula

Trump Election Due To Cosmic Emissions Says Brian Cox

Professor Brian Cox has explained the recent election of Donald Trump by pointing to a rare stellar phenomenon. The Oldham-but-not-Rochdale born scientist explained:- "On the 9th...

No Plans For Apple Tax to Just Rest in Irish Account 

The Irish government and their opposition are in agreement that they shouldn't have to tax corporations after an EU court suggested that perhaps Ireland...

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