Man whose toast popped at the same time as his kettle boiled causes black...
A Welshman had a shock today when a black hole opened in his kitchen.
The man, who can't be named because his name is...
Parents ask kids to surf net to find solution to spending too much time...
Fresh fears regarding the overuse of the internet by youngsters has emerged, with experts suggesting that it should be compared to fast food. The...
Taking are speling back!
The new Apple iOS update is to include a new autocorrect function for words such as muslin, briton and rasict.
Computer giants and tax dodging...
Rochdale scientists breed Christmas ‘turkberry’
Top food scientists say they are 'very close' to successfully breeding a turkey with a cranberry bush.
The new 'turkberry' hybrid bush-bird could be on...
Calm down love! Let me mansplain your research for you
Professor Eleanor Goodchild of the Cliff Claven Linguistics faculty at Rochdale Community University has published her findings on Male Answering Syndrome ('MAS').
The Herald's...
Aliens call off attack due to lack of funny title for this article
Giant brain-sucking aliens from the R33-Delta 1 Q’Luurfb system have put back their planned invasion of the planet Earth we can exclusively reveal today.
The...
What’s so f*cking great about sliced bread ask furious genius inventors
The wheel, the lightbulb, combustion engine, space travel, and the internet all pale in comparison to pre-sliced bread according to public opinion.
"I created the...
Physicist angry that with infinite universes, he got one with Trump in it
A failed physicist and lapsed university lecturer has lamented online about his inner anxieties.
Bad dishwasher etiquette is evidence of evolution running backwards
Anthropologists working at the University of Bath today released a study which they claim demonstrates that the human race appears to be separating into...
Scientists confirm tea tastes better when somebody else makes it
Researchers from Rochdale Community University have confirmed after years of extensive research that tea tastes loads better when somebody else has made it.
Maurice Tips,...
Theresa May’s credibility leaves solar system
Theresa May's credibility has become the third human-made object to travel into interstellar space less than two years after her mission began.
It passed through...
Local scientist proves no link between Marmite and racism
Homegrown boffin and university lecturer Professor Arthur Nidear has today Published his findings after 2 years researching whether the much-loved spread, which is also...
Only 17 more sleeps until numpties stop saying how many sleeps until Christmas
The London Sleep Clinic has today confirmed that it should only be necessary to go to bed 17 more times before everyone regains the...
London not centre of Universe say astronomers
In a shock announcement today, astronomers have come out and stated categorically that London is not the centre of the universe.
The BBC's face of...
1 billion Yahoo users ‘not arsed’ about forgotten Yahoo accounts being hacked
Ancient search engine and former email provider, Yahoo, has admitted that 1 billion of its users security has been breached.
Yahoo, which was once a...
?Kim Jong Un invents universal cure
The secretive state of North Korea has managed to cure most illnesses from the common cold to cancer, it has been revealed.
Ishit Yu Not,...
