Cigar Shaped Asteroid Ouamuamua’s violent past hints he’s from Blackburn
Space - Mere months after it was revealed Om.. Oom.. that cigar shaped asteroid, was believed to have come from a distant solar system,...
South African Scientist Discovers Free Non-Polluting Energy Source
Imagine the scenario: you are in a pub, when a local starts spouting racist nonsense. You have an overwhelming desire to stand up and...
2017 set to be hottest year on record
Experts in worldwide trends are predicting that 2017 will reach terminal levels of warmth by mid-June.
Professor Thorfin Nerfstretcherrsson, Head of Rochdale Community University's department...
Heinz announces new alphabetti spaghetti for the blind
Purveyors of fine bean and pasta based tinned goods, Heinz, announced a new product this morning.
A spokesman told The Rochdale Herald:
"It's all about equal...
Apple Sues Samsung Over ‘Shit Battery’ ?Patent Infingement
Apple is to sue Samsung after the Korean electronics giant recalled its flagship Galaxy Note 7 smartphone after the battery repeatedly blew up during...
?Kim Jong Un invents universal cure
The secretive state of North Korea has managed to cure most illnesses from the common cold to cancer, it has been revealed.
Ishit Yu Not,...
Part time Internet liberals mistake disagreeing with stuff with being offended scientist proves
Researchers at the world famous Rochdale Community University published groundbreaking research this morning proving that most of the Facebook Liberal elite don't know their arses from their elbows.
Women ‘Not Silly’ groundbreaking study reveals
Women may not be as silly as we first thought, a new study suggests.
Researchers at the Rochdale's Community University observed one hundred female humans...
Elon Musk to harness teenage angst as source of renewable energy
South African science lunatic & suspected wizard Elon Musk has turned his attentions to what he calls "mankind's greatest untapped resource".
A spokesperson for Mr...
Climate change deniers blame solar panels for sucking all the light out of the...
Climate change deniers took to social media today to decry the damage being done by solar panels to the sun, which they blame for...
Britain to stop messing about and put the clocks back twenty years this October
Tony Blair woke this morning to find himself in the enviable position of a second chance at his legacy with the announcement the clocks...
5G spreads bullshit 10 times faster than 4G say experts
Some of Britain's top scientists have issued a stark warning ahead of the long-awaited rollout of 5G mobile networks across the country.
In an exclusive...
Patriots actually just thick twats scientists prove
Scientists at Rochdale's Community University have proven conclusively that people identifying themselves on social media as "Patriots" are actually just thick twats.
NHS Test and Trace Centre discovered on Venus
A Rochdale resident has discovered the existence of an NHS Test and Trace Centre on the surface of Venus. Scientists believe that the existence...
Scientists confirm that builder’s tea is just tea
A team of scientists from Rochdale Community University have confirmed after years of extensive research that builder's tea is, in fact, just tea.
Clarence Tetley,...
Web Removes Facebook From Xmas Card List
The World Wide Web is sulking after Facebook got its birthday wrong.
Facebook flooded feeds with celebratory posts on the 23rd of August claiming the...
