A team of scientists from Rochdale Community University have confirmed after years of extensive research that builder’s tea is, in fact, just tea.

Clarence Tetley, lead beverage researcher at the University’s world famous Brew Institute, has confirmed that on a molecular level a mug of Builder’s Tea is exactly the same as the stuff the Queen drinks out of fancy cups.

He said: “We were stunned to discover that the stuff working class people are drinking out of chipped mugs on building sites is exactly the same as the stuff dead posh people drink out of fancy pants china cups and saucers.”

“I’m not sure posh people know that though. If they were to find out there might be some kind of riot, we’ve had to keep our research top secret.”

The research which has been funded by an £8 million research and development grant from the European Union has taken almost seventeen years to complete and has revealed some startling results

“We’ve drunk loads of tea. I mean literally loads of tea. You wouldn’t believe how much tea we’ve had to drink.”

“We were startled to learn that it all tastes exactly the same. Except for Earl Grey which just tastes horrible. I’m not even sure that Earl Grey is tea, I think it might be made out of ground up second hand pot pouri.”

“Builder’s tea is just tea that builder’s drink with too much sugar in it. We were shocked too.”

Clarence has applied for a grant to find out why coffee makes you need a poo.

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.