Science and Technology

Nigel Farage is either blind to numbers or being a massive hypocrite, according to Professor Brian Cox, the eminent almost-Rochdale scientist.  "Farage has spent months whining on about how political and judicial frameworks must not...

Astrophysicists around or rather, across the world are in turmoil after Oldham-born pop-rock sensation, Professor Brian Cox today admitted that the Earth is indeed flat. Prof. Cox dropped the bombshell on the scientific world...

The wheel, the lightbulb, combustion engine, space travel, and the internet all pale in comparison to pre-sliced bread according to public opinion. "I created the world wide web for fucks sake... The single most important step...

Joe Griffiths, from Rochdale, has been awarded the Nobel Prize for Physics after discovering the sun is HOT. It turns out that Isaac Newton wasn't the only one to have a scientific epiphany whilst sitting...

The much loved character was played by the very youthful looking 83 year old Scientist, Actor and Professor Brian Cox who sadly passed away earlier today. Cox was a genius of comedy timing and a...

There has been chaos today around Cambridge today after all the Sat Navs in the town spontaneously held a minute silence in remembrance of brilliant physicist Stephen Hawking. The traffic was particularly dreadful around junction...

Researchers from Rochdale Community University have confirmed after years of extensive research that tea tastes loads better when somebody else has made it. Maurice Tips, Professor of Hot Beverages at the University's world famous Brew...

Professor Eleanor Goodchild of the Cliff Claven Linguistics faculty at Rochdale Community University has published her findings on Male Answering Syndrome ('MAS'). The Herald's Baz Cordouroy tells us more. Professor Goodchild's study aims to put...

Scientists at the Laval University in Quebec have intercepted what they believe to be a message from extraterrestrials. The message was received encoded in modulations of the brightness of certain heavenly bodies and appears to...

Twitter was forced to set up thousands of new servers today after an Australian car safety campaign released pictures of Graham. Millions of original witsters tweeted "Looks a bit like my ex," or "I don't...

After 2 years of unprecedented levels of worldwide idiocy, scientists have discovered that the parallel universe where weird shit happens is this one. Popular theory states that there are an infinite number of universes...

Homegrown boffin and university lecturer Professor Arthur Nidear has today Published his findings after 2 years researching whether the much-loved spread, which is also the much hated spread, had any links at all into...

The Project May-Bot team have announced that due to recent poor performance and unexpected features being noted, they are looking into resetting the May-Bot in the time-honoured fashion of turning it off and back...

A failed physicist and lapsed university lecturer has lamented online about his inner anxieties.

The winner of this year's Dyson James Dyson Boffin Admired By Dyson's James Dyson Award, is Isis. No, not the naughty middle eastern twerps, a boffin whose name is Isis Schiffer. Ira, sorry I mean Isis,...

There was protest in East Lancashire today, as plans by Vodafone & Nokia to launch a 4G mobile network on the lunar surface from 2019 meant the Moon would be getting the network upgrade...