Trump Election Due To Cosmic Emissions Says Brian Cox
Professor Brian Cox has explained the recent election of Donald Trump by pointing to a rare stellar phenomenon. The Oldham-but-not-Rochdale born scientist explained:-
"On the 9th...
Scientists prove warm prosecco only explanation for Love Island
A scientific study has been released that shows that Love Island can only be explained by warm prosecco.
Dr Frederick Seddon of Rochdale college told...
Earth isn’t flat, cats would have pushed everything off edge by now if it...
Scientists around the World have finally conceded that the Earth is most probably not a completely flat disc after all.
Research conducted at the University...
Trident Subs: Gotta catch ’em all
Speaking at the Nato summit in Warsaw this week, David Cameron has hinted that almost £16bn ear-marked for the renewal of the Trident nuclear...
Trump: tinfoil a good defence against mind control rays
President-elect Donald J Trump has announced a groundbreaking and cutting edge technology to combat the growing menace of conspiracies facing the US.
He is well...
New Technology Foils Illegal Immigrants
In conjunction with the British Government-funded wall in Calais, British officials are working with maritime consultants on methods to physically prevent illegal immigrants from...
Scientist confirms it’s impossible to grow potato behind an ear
A top Agricultural scientist at Cambridge University has revealed that potatoes cannot grow behind or even in a persons earlobe. This shock news comes...
Laptop finishes update in time for the weekend
An office worker in Rochdale is celebrating this evening after his laptop finally finished updating just in time for the weekend.
Dave Bloke from Milnrow...
Leading Homeopath Accidentally Says Something Sensible
Writing in the lifestyle magazine 'It's A Gullible Life' Dr Pie d'Piper (currently The British Homeopathic Amalgam's Integrative Dissimulation Spokesbeing) responded to the news...
A new Pokemon Go addition announced today is the Govey
The rare Pokemon can be found near knife drawers and can be evolved from its natural Tory stage, to raging Racist Govenator stage to...
No Plans For Apple Tax to Just Rest in Irish Account
The Irish government and their opposition are in agreement that they shouldn't have to tax corporations after an EU court suggested that perhaps Ireland...
Local scientist proves no link between Marmite and racism
Homegrown boffin and university lecturer Professor Arthur Nidear has today Published his findings after 2 years researching whether the much-loved spread, which is also...
Facebook servers crash after everyone announces they’re drinking Prosecco
Facebook couldn't be logged into earlier today after millions of people updated their statuses with things like;
"The Prosecco is open! You know what that...
Computer driven people are a menace say self-driven cars
Over the last ten years or so, humans have been becoming more and more computer-driven. Cars are speaking out against this worrying trend.
In a...
The only chemicals you can kills kids with are high explosives and white phosphorus,...
Following the outcry over the alleged chemical weapons attacks in Syria, the Pentagon have confirmed that the only legal chemicals you can use to...
Patriots actually just thick twats scientists prove
Scientists at Rochdale's Community University have proven conclusively that people identifying themselves on social media as "Patriots" are actually just thick twats.
