Non-stick coating manufacturer Teflon has today announced a lucrative tie in with Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson.

The company is believed to have lined up an Ad campaign featuring the befuddled minister throwing buckets of shite over himself, only to grin like a Cheshire Cat as it slides right off leaving him spotlessly clean. The strapline is “BoJo, the only thing less sticky than our pans”.

Many have been quick to point out that the deal breaches several ministerial codes of conduct.

Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn had started to heavily criticise the foreign secretary, calling for his resignation only to give up half way through when he realised who he was talking about.

At a press conference today, Prime Minister Theresa May was asked if she would finally consider sacking him this time. The PM responded decisively by asking if anyone in the room had seen the final of Bake Off.

Boris is expected to begin promoting the squeaky clean brand after the unexpected trip he must now make to Tehran, really nailing down his current balls-up.

Before that though he has to complete his current tour of the UK, in a large bus emblazoned with the phrase “I’ve had all your mums, but they weren’t as good as your Grans!”

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High mistress of the underworld, destroyer of souls, collector of small pottery cats. Also one of the country’s premier frock enthusiasts.