Science and Technology

White heat from the Technology News team: All the latest from the Rochdale and area tech scene

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Web Removes Facebook From Xmas Card List

The World Wide Web is sulking after Facebook got its birthday wrong.  Facebook flooded feeds with celebratory posts on the 23rd of August claiming the...

Man who received double hand transplant can’t wait to “trim his hedge”

The first person in the UK ever to have a double hand transplant has told The Rochdale Herald that he can't wait to get...
homeopath

Leading Homeopath Accidentally Says Something Sensible

Writing in the lifestyle magazine 'It's A Gullible Life' Dr Pie d'Piper (currently The British Homeopathic Amalgam's Integrative Dissimulation Spokesbeing) responded to the news...

5G spreads bullshit 10 times faster than 4G say experts

Some of Britain's top scientists have issued a stark warning ahead of the long-awaited rollout of 5G mobile networks across the country. In an exclusive...
Cyclist in rain

Prize boffin apparently unaware of weather

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The winner of this year's Dyson James Dyson Boffin Admired By Dyson's James Dyson Award, is Isis. No, not the naughty middle eastern twerps, a...
Michael Gove

Impossible to see photo of Michael Gove and not say ‘Twat’ research proves

Researchers at Rochdale Community University have proven conclusively that is impossible to look at a photograph of Michael Gove with a muttering the word "twat".

British Firewall totally not about censorship and spying, says head of spying and censorship...

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GCHQ, the British spy agency that is regularly exposed for bugging our phones and nicking our online data to spy on us, has announced...

Rochdale sex romp for Ozone Day

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Friday 16th of September was World Ozone Day but residents of a care home in Rochdale have been getting hot under the collar after...

Linkin Park’s poignant question answered

The question posed by Linkin Park all those years ago has been answered and people might not like the answer. According to scientists, who have been...

Scientists confirm tea tastes better when somebody else makes it

Researchers from Rochdale Community University have confirmed after years of extensive research that tea tastes loads better when somebody else has made it. Maurice Tips,...
Scientists

Moaning about stuff easier than dealing with stuff, scientists reveal

Scientist have discovered that moaning about your problems to people is much easier than dealing them. Professor Abra Cadabra of the Universality of Rochdale concluded...
Fruit Salad

Fruit salad cancer risk

Fruit salads may cause cancer, top Latvian scientists have found. The study, published in Eat My Carcinoma, has sent shockwaves through fruit communities and...
analogue

Government digital service actually still analogue

The government’s “digital service”, a branch of the cabinet office and the one that was meant to protect the government’s computer systems against cyber...

NHS partner with WhatsApp to reboot IT project

In a move to reduce costs and breathe new life into the long-abandoned £11.4 billion Centralised Records System, the NHS has announced a partnership...

Smart Energy may help me keep job – says National Grid boss

The new head of the National Grid, Nicola Shaw,  has today encouraged consumers to opt for "smart energy" devices which will enable her to...

Buzzfeed pulls ‘Which terrorist group are you?’ quiz after complaints

Entertainment website Buzzfeed has withdrawn its ‘Which terrorist group are you?’ quiz following user complaints. The website removed the quiz on Tuesday afternoon, and...

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