Scientists announce new Corbyn scale that measures inactivity
Scientists have devised a new unit to measure inactivity that they're calling the Corbyn.
Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College told us, "We've been trying...
Scientists confirm this is the weird parallel universe
After 2 years of unprecedented levels of worldwide idiocy, scientists have discovered that the parallel universe where weird shit happens is this one.
Popular...
Elon Musk to harness teenage angst as source of renewable energy
South African science lunatic & suspected wizard Elon Musk has turned his attentions to what he calls "mankind's greatest untapped resource".
A spokesperson for Mr...
Linkin Park’s poignant question answered
The question posed by Linkin Park all those years ago has been answered and
people might not like the answer.
According to scientists, who have been...
Nobel Prize winning Physicist trying to delete U2’s album from iTunes
One of the winners of the 2019 Nobel Prize in Physics, Michel Mayor has told the Rochdale Herald that despite his award being announced...
Robots refusing cyber attack vaccine due to autism fears
The UK's robots have told the Government that they will refuse a vaccine that provides protection from computer viruses, over fears it could cause...
Nightmare for woman who cleans phone screen.
A woman who felt all was well in world and wasn't troubled by current media output was horrified to learn the truth today after...
Man whose toast popped at the same time as his kettle boiled causes black...
A Welshman had a shock today when a black hole opened in his kitchen.
The man, who can't be named because his name is...
US Government admits covering up red alert over imminent asteroid impact
Scientists and Government sources have confirmed that the giant asteroid, 2016-FI is on course to strike the Northern Hemisphere after initial uncertainty about it's...
Apple to move to Battersea iStation
Apple have announced this week that they will be basing their future British tax evasion projects at South London's Battersea Power Station.
Mayor Sadiq Khan...
Breaking: Climate Change Inevitable Declare Scientists
A leading group of scientists in the field of climate change and politicians from all over the globe on both the left and the...
Tests prove evolution has stopped among UKIP supporters
Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University’s Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed,...
Patriots actually just thick twats scientists prove
Scientists at Rochdale's Community University have proven conclusively that people identifying themselves on social media as "Patriots" are actually just thick twats.
‘How many roads must a man walk down before he can call himself a...
Researchers have proved that the number of roads a man must walk down before you call him a man is greater than, or equal...
Facebook servers crash after everyone announces they’re drinking Prosecco
Facebook couldn't be logged into earlier today after millions of people updated their statuses with things like;
"The Prosecco is open! You know what that...
Rochdale man who can’t explain what his job is tells people he’s a drug...
A Rochdale man who got tired of struggling to explain what his job is, so that people could understand what he does, now just...
