Scientists confirm tea tastes better when somebody else makes it
Researchers from Rochdale Community University have confirmed after years of extensive research that tea tastes loads better when somebody else has made it.
Maurice Tips,...
Physicist angry that with infinite universes, he got one with Trump in it
A failed physicist and lapsed university lecturer has lamented online about his inner anxieties.
If we can pay for food we can pay for rockets – say NASA
American space go-getters NASA are said to be up in arms about budget restrictions while there is still enough money available to feed some...
Scientists warn against wearing Ukrainian underpants because Chernobyl Fallout
Scientists from the University of Kiev have issued a stark warning to people all over the world about the dangers of wearing Ukrainian undercrackers.
What’s so f*cking great about sliced bread ask furious genius inventors
The wheel, the lightbulb, combustion engine, space travel, and the internet all pale in comparison to pre-sliced bread according to public opinion.
"I created the...
1 billion Yahoo users ‘not arsed’ about forgotten Yahoo accounts being hacked
Ancient search engine and former email provider, Yahoo, has admitted that 1 billion of its users security has been breached.
Yahoo, which was once a...
Web Removes Facebook From Xmas Card List
The World Wide Web is sulking after Facebook got its birthday wrong.
Facebook flooded feeds with celebratory posts on the 23rd of August claiming the...
Tests prove evolution has stopped among UKIP supporters
Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University's Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed,...
Researchers reclassify idiocy as alt-intelligence
Gavin Chappie of Rochdale Community University claims to have made a discovery in the development of AI.
He told the Herald that his theory may...
‘Childhood vaccines prolonged my agonising march towards death’ claims nihilist.
A local nihilist has started a campaign against vaccinations, arguing that they force children to endure the pain and sadness of their futile existence.
Stephen...
Elderly people left speechless after discovering smart phone can make tea
19 year old student, Gary Downes, showed his Grandad Terance his new Samsung Galaxy S7 last week.
"I was showing him all the latest cool...
Twitter Breaks Under Strain of Highly Original Wit
Twitter was forced to set up thousands of new servers today after an Australian car safety campaign released pictures of Graham.
Millions of original witsters...
Team behind the May-Bot to try turning it off and back on again
The Project May-Bot team have announced that due to recent poor performance and unexpected features being noted, they are looking into resetting the May-Bot...
Robots refusing cyber attack vaccine due to autism fears
The UK's robots have told the Government that they will refuse a vaccine that provides protection from computer viruses, over fears it could cause...
Veganism can be cured claim scientists
Scientists at Bideford University have claimed that the recent epidemic of Veganism can be stopped if victims receive treatment in the early stages of...
Woman killed by drinking mineral water 15 minutes older than best before date
A Rochdale resident was found dead at home today after consuming a bottle of water 15 minutes past its expiry date.
Police told the Herald that...
