Moaning about stuff easier than dealing with stuff, scientists reveal
Scientist have discovered that moaning about your problems to people is much easier than dealing them. Professor Abra Cadabra of the Universality of Rochdale concluded...
Left wing idiots as gullible as right wing idiots Scientists discover
Left wing idiots are are as gullible as right wing idiots scientists at Rochdale Community University Bullshit Studies Department have discovered.
Cats growing increasingly desperate to find cure for Coronavirus
Pet cats have announced that they're ramping up their efforts to find a cure for Coronavirus as many find they're now forced to spend...
Breaking: Climate Change Inevitable Declare Scientists
A leading group of scientists in the field of climate change and politicians from all over the globe on both the left and the...
‘iPhone 7 best ever’ declare vacuous self obsessed brand whores
We caught up with some douchebag in skinny jeans outside the Apple Store in the Arndale this afternoon:
"I've been queuing since Saturday!" Travelling UPVC...
No need for Artificial Intelligence, say robots
Robots at Rochdale Community University maintain that advancements in Artificial Intelligence (AI) are not necessary. I was invited to meet Robbie, a MK VII Hawking series robot, at the University's science lab last week.
Fruit salad cancer risk
Fruit salads may cause cancer, top Latvian scientists have found. The study, published in Eat My Carcinoma, has sent shockwaves through fruit communities and...
Scientists confirm tea tastes better when somebody else makes it
Researchers from Rochdale Community University have confirmed after years of extensive research that tea tastes loads better when somebody else has made it.
Maurice Tips,...
Twitter Breaks Under Strain of Highly Original Wit
Twitter was forced to set up thousands of new servers today after an Australian car safety campaign released pictures of Graham.
Millions of original witsters...
2016 still killing celebrities
Following the first few weeks of January and the continuation of celebrity deaths, alternative facts and general shitwittery we were granted an exclusive interview...
Scientists confirm that builder’s tea is just tea
A team of scientists from Rochdale Community University have confirmed after years of extensive research that builder's tea is, in fact, just tea.
Clarence Tetley,...
Britain to stop messing about and put the clocks back twenty years this October
Tony Blair woke this morning to find himself in the enviable position of a second chance at his legacy with the announcement the clocks...
Computer driven people are a menace say self-driven cars
Over the last ten years or so, humans have been becoming more and more computer-driven. Cars are speaking out against this worrying trend.
In a...
Parents ask kids to surf net to find solution to spending too much time...
Fresh fears regarding the overuse of the internet by youngsters has emerged, with experts suggesting that it should be compared to fast food. The...
Particle physicists admit Hadron Collider has caused slow end of universe
It is 2 years since the upgrade and usage of the Relativistic Heavy Ion Collider (RHIC) back in Feb 2014.
Concerns were raised by non-physicists...
60 million Americans explore cryogenic freezing to escape Trump
With the ordeal of four years of President Trump looming over the horizon millions of Americans have applied to be cryogenically frozen for his term in...
