Science and Technology

White heat from the Technology News team: All the latest from the Rochdale and area tech scene

Scientist

People with personalised number plates are knobs, according to latest research

Antisocial anthropologist Dr Alec Smartt revealed this astounding fact in his dissertation entitled "Discerning the class differentials in a post-modern classless society". Dr Smartt's...
Turkberry

Rochdale scientists breed Christmas ‘turkberry’

Top food scientists say they are 'very close' to successfully breeding a turkey with a cranberry bush. The new 'turkberry' hybrid bush-bird could be on...
Doctor

Veganism can be cured claim scientists

Scientists at Bideford University have claimed that the recent epidemic of Veganism can be stopped if victims receive treatment in the early stages of...

Rochdale in mourning as Willy Wonka actor Brian Cox dies in his sleep

The much loved character was played by the very youthful looking 83 year old Scientist, Actor and Professor Brian Cox who sadly passed away...

Heinz announces new alphabetti spaghetti for the blind

Purveyors of fine bean and pasta based tinned goods, Heinz, announced a new product this morning. A spokesman told The Rochdale Herald: "It's all about equal...

Atheists pilgrimage to Dawkins’ home after Darwin appears on toast

Hundreds of atheists have laid siege to the home of renowned ethnologist and evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins after he reported finding an image of...

Trump marks 50 years since Abraham Lincoln walked on Mars

Donald Trump has today given a speech suggesting that it's the 50th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln walking on Mars. A spokesman for POTATUS said,...
Remote pointing at TV

GCHQ Samsung smart TV hack reveals threat to UK

WikiLeaks revelations that GCHQ has hacked into Samsung smart TV sets to turn them into listening devices has revealed some fascinating facts impacting on...
Aliens

Aliens call off attack due to lack of funny title for this article

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Giant brain-sucking aliens from the R33-Delta 1 Q’Luurfb system have put back their planned invasion of the planet Earth we can exclusively reveal today. The...

Nightmare for woman who cleans phone screen.

A woman who felt all was well in world and wasn't troubled by current media output was horrified to learn the truth today after...

iPhone users left feeling cheated

Thousands of iPhone users around the globe were left feeling cheated this week as they eagerly awaited news of the latest model from technology...
Traffic Jam

Chaos on Cambridge roads after Sat Navs hold minute silence for Stephen Hawking

There has been chaos today around Cambridge today after all the Sat Navs in the town spontaneously held a minute silence in remembrance of...
Blackhole

Supermassive black hole found at the heart of the Conservative Party

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Scientists working at Rochdale university announced Monday that they have proved the existence of supermassive black hole at the heart of the Conservative Party. "Imagine...
Cigar Shaped Asteroid

Cigar Shaped Asteroid Ouamuamua’s violent past hints he’s from Blackburn

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Space - Mere months after it was revealed Om.. Oom.. that cigar shaped asteroid, was believed to have come from a distant solar system,...

Britain to stop messing about and put the clocks back twenty years this October

Tony Blair woke this morning to find himself in the enviable position of a second chance at his legacy with the announcement the clocks...

Outcry as Moon to get 4G before Burnley

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There was protest in East Lancashire today, as plans by Vodafone & Nokia to launch a 4G mobile network on the lunar surface from...

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