Microsoft have announced today that they have finally finished fannying about with Windows and Microsoft Office.

The news has been met with widespread concern by people who aren’t sure if twenty thousand different fonts in Microsoft Word is sufficient.

Speaking to a press conference in Palo Alto California Microsoft Head of Pointless Updates Kay Board said.

“Sod it that’ll do. It almost works.”

Office workers around the globe are thought to be considering legal action against Microsoft after the news that they will no longer be doing eleven pointless, arbitrary updates a week from now on.

“Members of our Union are concerned that this will really impact upon the amount of time they can spend eating biscuits on full pay.”

“Without the four hours a day Microsoft spends fannying about with your computer people will be forced to crack on with some actual work.”

Shares in Hob Nobs dropped 15% at the news.

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.