Eating food causes cancer, says government scientist
This startling fact has now been scientifically proven and published in an official report. Restaurants will be forced to close after it was discovered...
60 million Americans explore cryogenic freezing to escape Trump
With the ordeal of four years of President Trump looming over the horizon millions of Americans have applied to be cryogenically frozen for his term in...
Parents ask kids to surf net to find solution to spending too much time...
Fresh fears regarding the overuse of the internet by youngsters has emerged, with experts suggesting that it should be compared to fast food. The...
5G spreads bullshit 10 times faster than 4G say experts
Some of Britain's top scientists have issued a stark warning ahead of the long-awaited rollout of 5G mobile networks across the country.
In an exclusive...
Nobel Prize winning Physicist trying to delete U2’s album from iTunes
One of the winners of the 2019 Nobel Prize in Physics, Michel Mayor has told the Rochdale Herald that despite his award being announced...
Smart Energy may help me keep job – says National Grid boss
The new head of the National Grid, Nicola Shaw, has today encouraged consumers to opt for "smart energy" devices which will enable her to...
Laptop finishes update in time for the weekend
An office worker in Rochdale is celebrating this evening after his laptop finally finished updating just in time for the weekend.
Dave Bloke from Milnrow...
I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Hearse
The Rochdale Herald has learned that ITV plans to make drastic changes to the format of next year's 'I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of...
GCHQ Samsung smart TV hack reveals threat to UK
WikiLeaks revelations that GCHQ has hacked into Samsung smart TV sets to turn them into listening devices has revealed some fascinating facts impacting on...
Earth isn’t flat, cats would have pushed everything off edge by now if it...
Scientists around the World have finally conceded that the Earth is most probably not a completely flat disc after all.
Research conducted at the University...
Physicist angry that with infinite universes, he got one with Trump in it
A failed physicist and lapsed university lecturer has lamented online about his inner anxieties.
‘Shit dont stick to this, fam’ says Boris Johnson
Non-stick coating manufacturer Teflon has today announced a lucrative tie in with Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson.
The company is believed to have lined up an...
Theresa May’s credibility leaves solar system
Theresa May's credibility has become the third human-made object to travel into interstellar space less than two years after her mission began.
It passed through...
Monkey With Typewriter Writes ‘Donald Trump Is An Orangutan In A Suit’
There was great excitement at the Royal Institute For Statistical Improbability today.
Beppo, one of the infinite number of monkeys with typewriters trying to type...
Atheists pilgrimage to Dawkins’ home after Darwin appears on toast
Hundreds of atheists have laid siege to the home of renowned ethnologist and evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins after he reported finding an image of...
Calm down love! Let me mansplain your research for you
Professor Eleanor Goodchild of the Cliff Claven Linguistics faculty at Rochdale Community University has published her findings on Male Answering Syndrome ('MAS').
The Herald's...
