Science and Technology

White heat from the Technology News team: All the latest from the Rochdale and area tech scene

No Plans For Apple Tax to Just Rest in Irish Account 

The Irish government and their opposition are in agreement that they shouldn't have to tax corporations after an EU court suggested that perhaps Ireland...

Woman killed by drinking mineral water 15 minutes older than best before date

A Rochdale resident was found dead at home today after consuming a bottle of water 15 minutes past its expiry date. Police told the Herald that...

I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Hearse

The Rochdale Herald has learned that ITV plans to make drastic changes to the format of next year's 'I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of...

Elderly people left speechless after discovering smart phone can make tea

19 year old student, Gary Downes, showed his Grandad Terance his new Samsung Galaxy S7 last week. "I was showing him all the latest cool...
Kitten lab

Earth isn’t flat, cats would have pushed everything off edge by now if it...

Scientists around the World have finally conceded that the Earth is most probably not a completely flat disc after all. Research conducted at the University...

Streisand Needs To Pronounce Her Name Properly, Says Siri

Barbara Streizzand has used her fame as a has been screecher and ex-movie star to get Apple to alter the way Siri pronounces...

Apple Sues Samsung Over ‘Shit Battery’ ?Patent Infingement

Apple is to sue Samsung after the Korean electronics giant recalled its flagship Galaxy Note 7 smartphone after the battery repeatedly blew up during...

Tests prove evolution has stopped among UKIP supporters

Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University’s Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed,...

Farage either ‘Innumerate’ or ‘Hypocritical Dickwad’ says Brian Cox

Nigel Farage is either blind to numbers or being a massive hypocrite, according to Professor Brian Cox, the eminent almost-Rochdale scientist.  "Farage has spent months...

Heat from self-righteous can power the world

Scientists at the renowned Rochdale Community University's Social Physics department announced the discovery of a new energy source today. “We discovered that the heat radiated...

Breaking: Climate Change Inevitable Declare Scientists

A leading group of scientists in the field of climate change and politicians from all over the globe on both the left and the...

Trump marks 50 years since Abraham Lincoln walked on Mars

Donald Trump has today given a speech suggesting that it's the 50th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln walking on Mars. A spokesman for POTATUS said,...
Women research team at Rochdale's Community University

Women ‘Not Silly’ groundbreaking study reveals

Women may not be as silly as we first thought, a new study suggests. Researchers at the Rochdale's Community University observed one hundred female humans...

Shit closer to hitting fan than yesterday

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Analysts and experts of faecal matters are saying that the shit, that was yesterday quite close to the fan, is now a bit closer...

Smart Energy may help me keep job – says National Grid boss

The new head of the National Grid, Nicola Shaw,  has today encouraged consumers to opt for "smart energy" devices which will enable her to...

Robots refusing cyber attack vaccine due to autism fears

The UK's robots have told the Government that they will refuse a vaccine that provides protection from computer viruses, over fears it could cause...

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