Scientists announce new Corbyn scale that measures inactivity
Scientists have devised a new unit to measure inactivity that they're calling the Corbyn.
Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College told us, "We've been trying...
Brexit Party set for MEP gains. Scientists bring pig brains back from the dead
Early opinion polls show a likely overall victory for the Brexit Party in the upcoming European Parliament elections. Scientists have restored brain activity to...
Britain to stop messing about and put the clocks back twenty years this October
Tony Blair woke this morning to find himself in the enviable position of a second chance at his legacy with the announcement the clocks...
Aliens call off attack due to lack of funny title for this article
Giant brain-sucking aliens from the R33-Delta 1 Q’Luurfb system have put back their planned invasion of the planet Earth we can exclusively reveal today.
The...
Trump marks 50 years since Abraham Lincoln walked on Mars
Donald Trump has today given a speech suggesting that it's the 50th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln walking on Mars.
A spokesman for POTATUS said,...
Scientists confirm tea tastes better when somebody else makes it
Researchers from Rochdale Community University have confirmed after years of extensive research that tea tastes loads better when somebody else has made it.
Maurice Tips,...
NHS partner with WhatsApp to reboot IT project
In a move to reduce costs and breathe new life into the long-abandoned £11.4 billion Centralised Records System, the NHS has announced a partnership...
Scientists prove warm prosecco only explanation for Love Island
A scientific study has been released that shows that Love Island can only be explained by warm prosecco.
Dr Frederick Seddon of Rochdale college told...
Study finds link between hair loss and racism.
Researchers at Rochdale Community University have uncovered the first clear links between racism and hair loss among men.
In an in depth study lasting nearly...
2017 set to be hottest year on record
Experts in worldwide trends are predicting that 2017 will reach terminal levels of warmth by mid-June.
Professor Thorfin Nerfstretcherrsson, Head of Rochdale Community University's department...
Government digital service actually still analogue
The government’s “digital service”, a branch of the cabinet office and the one that was meant to protect the government’s computer systems against cyber...
Bad dishwasher etiquette is evidence of evolution running backwards
Anthropologists working at the University of Bath today released a study which they claim demonstrates that the human race appears to be separating into...
Patriots actually just thick twats scientists prove
Scientists at Rochdale's Community University have proven conclusively that people identifying themselves on social media as "Patriots" are actually just thick twats.
Breaking: Climate Change Inevitable Declare Scientists
A leading group of scientists in the field of climate change and politicians from all over the globe on both the left and the...
Buzzfeed pulls ‘Which terrorist group are you?’ quiz after complaints
Entertainment website Buzzfeed has withdrawn its ‘Which terrorist group are you?’ quiz following user complaints. The website removed the quiz on Tuesday afternoon, and...
Apple Sues Samsung Over ‘Shit Battery’ ?Patent Infingement
Apple is to sue Samsung after the Korean electronics giant recalled its flagship Galaxy Note 7 smartphone after the battery repeatedly blew up during...
