Being a tosser won’t stop you getting rich, scientist claims
Anders Farkenobbviarrs, head of research at the Norway Institute of Selfish Prick-like Behavior in Trondheim said “Loads of rich, successful people are total fuckers,...
Brian Cox concedes Earth is flat after spotting massive rounding error
Astrophysicists around or rather, across the world are in turmoil after Oldham-born pop-rock sensation, Professor Brian Cox today admitted that the Earth is...
The only chemicals you can kills kids with are high explosives and white phosphorus,...
Following the outcry over the alleged chemical weapons attacks in Syria, the Pentagon have confirmed that the only legal chemicals you can use to...
Samsung unveil S1 at Burnley Tech Conference along with steam iron and Flymo
Gobsmacked attendees at the inaugural CES (Consumer Electronics Show) at Burnley Community Centre looked on in awe as Samsung unveiled its Galaxy S1 mobile...
Linkin Park’s poignant question answered
The question posed by Linkin Park all those years ago has been answered and
people might not like the answer.
According to scientists, who have been...
Rochdale in mourning as Willy Wonka actor Brian Cox dies in his sleep
The much loved character was played by the very youthful looking 83 year old Scientist, Actor and Professor Brian Cox who sadly passed away...
Veganism can be cured claim scientists
Scientists at Bideford University have claimed that the recent epidemic of Veganism can be stopped if victims receive treatment in the early stages of...
1 billion Yahoo users ‘not arsed’ about forgotten Yahoo accounts being hacked
Ancient search engine and former email provider, Yahoo, has admitted that 1 billion of its users security has been breached.
Yahoo, which was once a...
Bad dishwasher etiquette is evidence of evolution running backwards
Anthropologists working at the University of Bath today released a study which they claim demonstrates that the human race appears to be separating into...
All toddlers are Tories scientists confirm
Scientists from the Institute For Politicised Childhoods have announced the results of extensive testing, on toddlers, in laboratories.
"They're all Conservatives, by and large." Dr....
EXCLUSIVE: Apple customers will be forced to install ‘iBalls’ to use new SCREENLESS iPhone...
Tech giant Apple has refused to comment on reports that customers will be forced to replace their own eyes if they want to use the new iPhone 9, which will be sold...
Before the ‘Iron Age’ everything was just creased, confirm anthropologists
A team of anthropologists and archaeologists from Rochdale Community College announced their exciting revelation about our ancestors on Thursday. They have confirmed that, before...
Study finds link between hair loss and racism.
Researchers at Rochdale Community University have uncovered the first clear links between racism and hair loss among men.
In an in depth study lasting nearly...
Anagramologists discover Conservatives is an anagram of voters cave in
Only Theresa May can effectively negotiate Brexit, according to Tories.
"Obviously with all 27 EU nations being absolutely united and holding all the cards," explained...
2017 set to be hottest year on record
Experts in worldwide trends are predicting that 2017 will reach terminal levels of warmth by mid-June.
Professor Thorfin Nerfstretcherrsson, Head of Rochdale Community University's department...
Parents ask kids to surf net to find solution to spending too much time...
Fresh fears regarding the overuse of the internet by youngsters has emerged, with experts suggesting that it should be compared to fast food. The...
