Patriots actually just thick twats scientists prove
Scientists at Rochdale's Community University have proven conclusively that people identifying themselves on social media as "Patriots" are actually just thick twats.
Veganism can be cured claim scientists
Scientists at Bideford University have claimed that the recent epidemic of Veganism can be stopped if victims receive treatment in the early stages of...
Scientist confirms it’s impossible to grow potato behind an ear
A top Agricultural scientist at Cambridge University has revealed that potatoes cannot grow behind or even in a persons earlobe. This shock news comes...
New VW Eco-Diesel Car Scraps Itself In Event Of Ecological Disaster
Volkswagen announced the launch date for the VW Plannett Fuckerr, their new eco-friendly diesel family saloon today, assuring customers that this is 'the most...
2016 still killing celebrities
Following the first few weeks of January and the continuation of celebrity deaths, alternative facts and general shitwittery we were granted an exclusive interview...
Its not Lupus.
Hypochondriacs around the UK were said to be giddy with the excitement at the prospect of a new NHS website that will encourage them...
British Firewall totally not about censorship and spying, says head of spying and censorship...
GCHQ, the British spy agency that is regularly exposed for bugging our phones and nicking our online data to spy on us, has announced...
Laptop finishes update in time for the weekend
An office worker in Rochdale is celebrating this evening after his laptop finally finished updating just in time for the weekend.
Dave Bloke from Milnrow...
Taking are speling back!
The new Apple iOS update is to include a new autocorrect function for words such as muslin, briton and rasict.
Computer giants and tax dodging...
Monkey With Typewriter Writes ‘Donald Trump Is An Orangutan In A Suit’
There was great excitement at the Royal Institute For Statistical Improbability today.
Beppo, one of the infinite number of monkeys with typewriters trying to type...
Brexit Party set for MEP gains. Scientists bring pig brains back from the dead
Early opinion polls show a likely overall victory for the Brexit Party in the upcoming European Parliament elections. Scientists have restored brain activity to...
A new Pokemon Go addition announced today is the Govey
The rare Pokemon can be found near knife drawers and can be evolved from its natural Tory stage, to raging Racist Govenator stage to...
Tangled wires defy all laws of physics, confirm scientists
A study has proven that any one wire left unattended for 5 minutes, will tangle itself beyond the laws of physics.
The physics department of...
Government that can’t afford to electrify TransPennine Express announces plans for a space program
The Government has announced a vague and ill thought out plan to start a space program instead of electrifying the TransPennine Express railway line.
A...
Microsoft to finally stop buggering about with Windows
Microsoft have announced today that they have finally finished fannying about with Windows and Microsoft Office.
The news has been met with widespread concern by...
Woman killed by drinking mineral water 15 minutes older than best before date
A Rochdale resident was found dead at home today after consuming a bottle of water 15 minutes past its expiry date.
Police told the Herald that...
