Scientist confirms it’s impossible to grow potato behind an ear
A top Agricultural scientist at Cambridge University has revealed that potatoes cannot grow behind or even in a persons earlobe. This shock news comes...
Man who received double hand transplant can’t wait to “trim his hedge”
The first person in the UK ever to have a double hand transplant has told The Rochdale Herald that he can't wait to get...
Rochdale cyclist says he’s right about earth being flat
A Rochdale cyclist has spent the entire week explaining to people he works with how he knows the Earth is flat.
Carl Isles, cycles the...
NHS partner with WhatsApp to reboot IT project
In a move to reduce costs and breathe new life into the long-abandoned £11.4 billion Centralised Records System, the NHS has announced a partnership...
‘iPhone 7 best ever’ declare vacuous self obsessed brand whores
We caught up with some douchebag in skinny jeans outside the Apple Store in the Arndale this afternoon:
"I've been queuing since Saturday!" Travelling UPVC...
Only 17 more sleeps until numpties stop saying how many sleeps until Christmas
The London Sleep Clinic has today confirmed that it should only be necessary to go to bed 17 more times before everyone regains the...
Fruit salad cancer risk
Fruit salads may cause cancer, top Latvian scientists have found. The study, published in Eat My Carcinoma, has sent shockwaves through fruit communities and...
Heat from self-righteous can power the world
Scientists at the renowned Rochdale Community University's Social Physics department announced the discovery of a new energy source today.
“We discovered that the heat radiated...
No Plans For Apple Tax to Just Rest in Irish Account
The Irish government and their opposition are in agreement that they shouldn't have to tax corporations after an EU court suggested that perhaps Ireland...
Trump marks 50 years since Abraham Lincoln walked on Mars
Donald Trump has today given a speech suggesting that it's the 50th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln walking on Mars.
A spokesman for POTATUS said,...
Brian Cox Announced As New President Of Flat Earth Society
Both the scientific and pseudo-scientific communities express a modicum of shock as tousle-haired synth-pop supremo and thinking housewives favourite Professor Brian Cox is sworn...
Stephen Hawking hasn’t got a leg to stand on, says Jeremy Hunt
Health Secretary Jeremy C. Hunt has responded to Hawking's criticism of NHS reforms in a series of tweets, which are pompous even by Hunt's...
NHS Test and Trace Centre discovered on Venus
A Rochdale resident has discovered the existence of an NHS Test and Trace Centre on the surface of Venus. Scientists believe that the existence...
Theresa May’s Incompetence, Like Great Wall of China, ‘now visible from the Moon’
NASA Astronauts have confirmed that Theresa May's staggering incompetence has joined the Great Wall of China as the second man-made object to be visible...
Nightmare for woman who cleans phone screen.
A woman who felt all was well in world and wasn't troubled by current media output was horrified to learn the truth today after...
Rochdale in mourning as Willy Wonka actor Brian Cox dies in his sleep
The much loved character was played by the very youthful looking 83 year old Scientist, Actor and Professor Brian Cox who sadly passed away...
