Fruit salad cancer risk
Fruit salads may cause cancer, top Latvian scientists have found. The study, published in Eat My Carcinoma, has sent shockwaves through fruit communities and...
Government Set to Outlaw Prime Numbers
In a surprise announcement this morning, it has emerged that the Government has released a White Paper aimed at criminalising the use of prime...
Women ‘Not Silly’ groundbreaking study reveals
Women may not be as silly as we first thought, a new study suggests.
Researchers at the Rochdale's Community University observed one hundred female humans...
Nightmare for woman who cleans phone screen.
A woman who felt all was well in world and wasn't troubled by current media output was horrified to learn the truth today after...
Bad dishwasher etiquette is evidence of evolution running backwards
Anthropologists working at the University of Bath today released a study which they claim demonstrates that the human race appears to be separating into...
All toddlers are Tories scientists confirm
Scientists from the Institute For Politicised Childhoods have announced the results of extensive testing, on toddlers, in laboratories.
"They're all Conservatives, by and large." Dr....
Prize boffin apparently unaware of weather
The winner of this year's Dyson James Dyson Boffin Admired By Dyson's James Dyson Award, is Isis.
No, not the naughty middle eastern twerps, a...
Engineer designs pram that fits in boot of car
Rumours are circulating around the World's scientific community that the man who has designed a pram that fits in the boot of a car...
Smart Energy may help me keep job – says National Grid boss
The new head of the National Grid, Nicola Shaw, has today encouraged consumers to opt for "smart energy" devices which will enable her to...
Trump marks 50 years since Abraham Lincoln walked on Mars
Donald Trump has today given a speech suggesting that it's the 50th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln walking on Mars.
A spokesman for POTATUS said,...
Calm down love! Let me mansplain your research for you
Professor Eleanor Goodchild of the Cliff Claven Linguistics faculty at Rochdale Community University has published her findings on Male Answering Syndrome ('MAS').
The Herald's...
NHS partner with WhatsApp to reboot IT project
In a move to reduce costs and breathe new life into the long-abandoned £11.4 billion Centralised Records System, the NHS has announced a partnership...
Rochdale residents anger as DNA test reveals some are 60% potato
Rochdale residents have been angered by a DNA profiling study that showed that many weren't descendants of native Rochdaleans at all.
The study, run by...
Its not Lupus.
Hypochondriacs around the UK were said to be giddy with the excitement at the prospect of a new NHS website that will encourage them...
If we can pay for food we can pay for rockets – say NASA
American space go-getters NASA are said to be up in arms about budget restrictions while there is still enough money available to feed some...
Impossible to see photo of Michael Gove and not say ‘Twat’ research proves
Researchers at Rochdale Community University have proven conclusively that is impossible to look at a photograph of Michael Gove with a muttering the word "twat".
