Science and Technology

A top Agricultural scientist at Cambridge University has revealed that potatoes cannot grow behind or even in a persons earlobe. This shock news comes...

Wayne Cummings has beaten off stiff competition from brothers Wayne Kerr and Yiwen Kerr to slide into interim role as Bellend-in-Chief of the UK's...

Following the outcry over the alleged chemical weapons attacks in Syria, the Pentagon have confirmed that the only legal chemicals you can use to...

Scientists from the University of Kiev have issued a stark warning to people all over the world about the dangers of wearing Ukrainian undercrackers.

Apple have announced this week that they will be basing their future British tax evasion projects at South London's Battersea Power Station. Mayor Sadiq Khan...

In a move to reduce costs and breathe new life into the long-abandoned £11.4 billion Centralised Records System, the NHS has announced a partnership...

Anthropologists working at the University of Bath today released a study which they claim demonstrates that the human race appears to be separating into...

Analysts and experts of faecal matters are saying that the shit, that was yesterday quite close to the fan, is now a bit closer...

A local nihilist has started a campaign against vaccinations, arguing that they force children to endure the pain and sadness of their futile existence. Stephen...

Tony Blair woke this morning to find himself in the enviable position of a second chance at his legacy with the announcement the clocks...

Detailed plans of the Vanguard submarine and Trident nuclear defence system have been discovered in Haywood. It's not currently clear how the detailed specification drawings and...

Twitter was forced to set up thousands of new servers today after an Australian car safety campaign released pictures of Graham. Millions of original witsters...

Oceans across the globe are feeling decidedly odd today after the entire planet's population of porpoises and dolphins completely and utterly disappeared overnight. "I really...

A study has proven that any one wire left unattended for 5 minutes, will tangle itself beyond the laws of physics.  The physics department of...

Experts in worldwide trends are predicting that 2017 will reach terminal levels of warmth by mid-June. Professor Thorfin Nerfstretcherrsson, Head of Rochdale Community University's department...

After 2 years of unprecedented levels of worldwide idiocy, scientists have discovered that the parallel universe where weird shit happens is this one. Popular...