Gobsmacked attendees at the inaugural CES (Consumer Electronics Show) at Burnley Community Centre looked on in awe as Samsung unveiled its Galaxy S1 mobile phone to the northern town.

One open-mouthed spectator, Stanley Onions, said “I couldn’t believe it. They let me hold the “contraption” up to my ear, and I could hear a little man inside.

“It’s the best thing ive seen since the introduction of sliced bread, which was unveiled last weekend at the SBC (Sliced Bread Conference) down the Burnley Social Club. I took my Aunty Barbara”.

A Samsung spokesman told us “We are very excited to introduce the S1 to Burnley. We have just come back from the Congo where we released the S8 and they loved it. Obviously, we have had to go back a few generations in our product range to meet the restricted network coverage in the Burnley area. However, I’m delighted to inform you that one bar coverage has been reached if you stand at the top of Pendle Hill on a clear day. We hope to be providing a 2G service by the year 2076.”

The S1 wasn’t the only thing to be showcased at the event. Other products included were a fully functioning Morphy Richards steam iron (for the ladies), a Flymo lawn mower (for the gentlemen), and for the kids Rubik’s Cube and an Action Man with eagle eyes.

Unfortunately, the event was closed early due to a local resident setting fire to the Flymo when trying to work the new disposable Clipper lighter. All in all though, a great day was had. When asked if the event will take place again next year, the Samsung spokesman said

“I very much doubt it”