Cats growing increasingly desperate to find cure for Coronavirus
Pet cats have announced that they're ramping up their efforts to find a cure for Coronavirus as many find they're now forced to spend...
Christian groups OUTRAGED as Apple replace Christian emojis with Islamojis
The next update to Apple's iOS devices will feature almost 100 Islamic emojis, dubbed Islamojis, replacing almost all Christian iconography available on the iPhone...
Parents ask kids to surf net to find solution to spending too much time...
Fresh fears regarding the overuse of the internet by youngsters has emerged, with experts suggesting that it should be compared to fast food. The...
Elon Musk to harness teenage angst as source of renewable energy
South African science lunatic & suspected wizard Elon Musk has turned his attentions to what he calls "mankind's greatest untapped resource".
A spokesperson for Mr...
Prize boffin apparently unaware of weather
The winner of this year's Dyson James Dyson Boffin Admired By Dyson's James Dyson Award, is Isis.
No, not the naughty middle eastern twerps, a...
?Kim Jong Un invents universal cure
The secretive state of North Korea has managed to cure most illnesses from the common cold to cancer, it has been revealed.
Ishit Yu Not,...
Tests prove evolution has stopped among UKIP supporters
Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University's Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed,...
‘Shit dont stick to this, fam’ says Boris Johnson
Non-stick coating manufacturer Teflon has today announced a lucrative tie in with Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson.
The company is believed to have lined up an...
Earth isn’t flat, cats would have pushed everything off edge by now if it...
Scientists around the World have finally conceded that the Earth is most probably not a completely flat disc after all.
Research conducted at the University...
May gives UK schools education 101
Prime Minister Theresa May has heralded education reforms by telling UK schools that there will be "no return to the binary system of the...
Trident Subs: Gotta catch ’em all
Speaking at the Nato summit in Warsaw this week, David Cameron has hinted that almost £16bn ear-marked for the renewal of the Trident nuclear...
Earth is Flat Confirms Cretin After Watching YouTube Video
Our foreign correspondent Miffy Bigboots reports from South London.
A man at a loose end over the weekend changed his opinion on virtually everything after...
Bad dishwasher etiquette is evidence of evolution running backwards
Anthropologists working at the University of Bath today released a study which they claim demonstrates that the human race appears to be separating into...
NHS Test and Trace Centre discovered on Venus
A Rochdale resident has discovered the existence of an NHS Test and Trace Centre on the surface of Venus. Scientists believe that the existence...
A new Pokemon Go addition announced today is the Govey
The rare Pokemon can be found near knife drawers and can be evolved from its natural Tory stage, to raging Racist Govenator stage to...
Veganism can be cured claim scientists
Scientists at Bideford University have claimed that the recent epidemic of Veganism can be stopped if victims receive treatment in the early stages of...
