Microsoft to finally stop buggering about with Windows
Microsoft have announced today that they have finally finished fannying about with Windows and Microsoft Office.
The news has been met with widespread concern by...
EXCLUSIVE: Apple customers will be forced to install ‘iBalls’ to use new SCREENLESS iPhone...
Tech giant Apple has refused to comment on reports that customers will be forced to replace their own eyes if they want to use the new iPhone 9, which will be sold...
All toddlers are Tories scientists confirm
Scientists from the Institute For Politicised Childhoods have announced the results of extensive testing, on toddlers, in laboratories.
"They're all Conservatives, by and large." Dr....
Scientists confirm tea tastes better when somebody else makes it
Researchers from Rochdale Community University have confirmed after years of extensive research that tea tastes loads better when somebody else has made it.
Maurice Tips,...
Laptop finishes update in time for the weekend
An office worker in Rochdale is celebrating this evening after his laptop finally finished updating just in time for the weekend.
Dave Bloke from Milnrow...
Earth is Flat Confirms Cretin After Watching YouTube Video
Our foreign correspondent Miffy Bigboots reports from South London.
A man at a loose end over the weekend changed his opinion on virtually everything after...
NHS Test and Trace Centre discovered on Venus
A Rochdale resident has discovered the existence of an NHS Test and Trace Centre on the surface of Venus. Scientists believe that the existence...
British Firewall totally not about censorship and spying, says head of spying and censorship...
GCHQ, the British spy agency that is regularly exposed for bugging our phones and nicking our online data to spy on us, has announced...
If we can pay for food we can pay for rockets – say NASA
American space go-getters NASA are said to be up in arms about budget restrictions while there is still enough money available to feed some...
5G blamed for amnesia as thousands of twats forget to be Islamophobic
Amidst growing concern from the internet's top pseudo-scientists about the risks posed by mobile technology, yet another coal has been added to the fire.
According...
Scientists confirm this is the weird parallel universe
After 2 years of unprecedented levels of worldwide idiocy, scientists have discovered that the parallel universe where weird shit happens is this one.
Popular...
Heinz announces new alphabetti spaghetti for the blind
Purveyors of fine bean and pasta based tinned goods, Heinz, announced a new product this morning.
A spokesman told The Rochdale Herald:
"It's all about equal...
‘Men only wear sunglasses to check out other women, like at weddings’ say Scientists
Claims have been made in a startling report that men only wear sunglasses so that they can check out other women without their wives...
Part time Internet liberals mistake disagreeing with stuff with being offended scientist proves
Researchers at the world famous Rochdale Community University published groundbreaking research this morning proving that most of the Facebook Liberal elite don't know their arses from their elbows.
Government digital service actually still analogue
The government’s “digital service”, a branch of the cabinet office and the one that was meant to protect the government’s computer systems against cyber...
Tangled wires defy all laws of physics, confirm scientists
A study has proven that any one wire left unattended for 5 minutes, will tangle itself beyond the laws of physics.
The physics department of...
