Earth isn’t flat, cats would have pushed everything off edge by now if it...
Scientists around the World have finally conceded that the Earth is most probably not a completely flat disc after all.
Research conducted at the University...
Scientist confirms it’s impossible to grow potato behind an ear
A top Agricultural scientist at Cambridge University has revealed that potatoes cannot grow behind or even in a persons earlobe. This shock news comes...
Bad dishwasher etiquette is evidence of evolution running backwards
Anthropologists working at the University of Bath today released a study which they claim demonstrates that the human race appears to be separating into...
Resting Bitch Face to be renamed Resting Just Sick of Your Shit Face
It seems that testing conditions, designed to mimic working in an average open plan office space, may have coloured the subjects' results. "It wasn't that their neutral faces were 'bitchy', just that even within a short time of meeting us, they were already just sick of our shit."
Government Set to Outlaw Prime Numbers
In a surprise announcement this morning, it has emerged that the Government has released a White Paper aimed at criminalising the use of prime...
Rochdale residents anger as DNA test reveals some are 60% potato
Rochdale residents have been angered by a DNA profiling study that showed that many weren't descendants of native Rochdaleans at all.
The study, run by...
Tangled wires defy all laws of physics, confirm scientists
A study has proven that any one wire left unattended for 5 minutes, will tangle itself beyond the laws of physics.
The physics department of...
Its not Lupus.
Hypochondriacs around the UK were said to be giddy with the excitement at the prospect of a new NHS website that will encourage them...
Aliens call off attack due to lack of funny title for this article
Giant brain-sucking aliens from the R33-Delta 1 Q’Luurfb system have put back their planned invasion of the planet Earth we can exclusively reveal today.
The...
Web Removes Facebook From Xmas Card List
The World Wide Web is sulking after Facebook got its birthday wrong.
Facebook flooded feeds with celebratory posts on the 23rd of August claiming the...
Heinz announces new alphabetti spaghetti for the blind
Purveyors of fine bean and pasta based tinned goods, Heinz, announced a new product this morning.
A spokesman told The Rochdale Herald:
"It's all about equal...
Trident Subs: Gotta catch ’em all
Speaking at the Nato summit in Warsaw this week, David Cameron has hinted that almost £16bn ear-marked for the renewal of the Trident nuclear...
Britain to stop messing about and put the clocks back twenty years this October
Tony Blair woke this morning to find himself in the enviable position of a second chance at his legacy with the announcement the clocks...
Moaning about stuff easier than dealing with stuff, scientists reveal
Scientist have discovered that moaning about your problems to people is much easier than dealing them. Professor Abra Cadabra of the Universality of Rochdale concluded...
Researchers reclassify idiocy as alt-intelligence
Gavin Chappie of Rochdale Community University claims to have made a discovery in the development of AI.
He told the Herald that his theory may...
Rochdale sex romp for Ozone Day
Friday 16th of September was World Ozone Day but residents of a care home in Rochdale have been getting hot under the collar after...
