‘How many roads must a man walk down before he can call himself a...
Researchers have proved that the number of roads a man must walk down before you call him a man is greater than, or equal...
Engineer designs pram that fits in boot of car
Rumours are circulating around the World's scientific community that the man who has designed a pram that fits in the boot of a car...
Heat from self-righteous can power the world
Scientists at the renowned Rochdale Community University's Social Physics department announced the discovery of a new energy source today.
“We discovered that the heat radiated...
Man who received double hand transplant can’t wait to “trim his hedge”
The first person in the UK ever to have a double hand transplant has told The Rochdale Herald that he can't wait to get...
The only chemicals you can kills kids with are high explosives and white phosphorus,...
Following the outcry over the alleged chemical weapons attacks in Syria, the Pentagon have confirmed that the only legal chemicals you can use to...
New Technology Foils Illegal Immigrants
In conjunction with the British Government-funded wall in Calais, British officials are working with maritime consultants on methods to physically prevent illegal immigrants from...
Christians, Muslims, Satanists Opposed To Pokemon Go
Following the UK release of Pokemon Go ten days ago, several prominent spokespersons for leading UK religious organisations have spoken out, condemning the game...
‘Men only wear sunglasses to check out other women, like at weddings’ say Scientists
Claims have been made in a startling report that men only wear sunglasses so that they can check out other women without their wives...
Plans for Trident found wrapped around a portion of chips
Detailed plans of the Vanguard submarine and Trident nuclear defence system have been discovered in Haywood.
It's not currently clear how the detailed specification drawings and...
Eating food causes cancer, says government scientist
This startling fact has now been scientifically proven and published in an official report. Restaurants will be forced to close after it was discovered...
Message from aliens intercepted.
Scientists at the Laval University in Quebec have intercepted what they believe to be a message from extraterrestrials.
The message was received encoded in modulations...
Theresa May’s Incompetence, Like Great Wall of China, ‘now visible from the Moon’
NASA Astronauts have confirmed that Theresa May's staggering incompetence has joined the Great Wall of China as the second man-made object to be visible...
Elon Musk to harness teenage angst as source of renewable energy
South African science lunatic & suspected wizard Elon Musk has turned his attentions to what he calls "mankind's greatest untapped resource".
A spokesperson for Mr...
Tests prove evolution has stopped among UKIP supporters
Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University’s Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed,...
Shit closer to hitting fan than yesterday
Analysts and experts of faecal matters are saying that the shit, that was yesterday quite close to the fan, is now a bit closer...
Rochdale in mourning as Willy Wonka actor Brian Cox dies in his sleep
The much loved character was played by the very youthful looking 83 year old Scientist, Actor and Professor Brian Cox who sadly passed away...
