5G blamed for amnesia as thousands of twats forget to be Islamophobic
Amidst growing concern from the internet's top pseudo-scientists about the risks posed by mobile technology, yet another coal has been added to the fire.
According...
Prize boffin apparently unaware of weather
The winner of this year's Dyson James Dyson Boffin Admired By Dyson's James Dyson Award, is Isis.
No, not the naughty middle eastern twerps, a...
Rochdale iPhone owner awarded medal after not reminding everybody he has an iPhone for...
Damon McIntyre of Rochdale was awarded a gold medal by his local community this week after managing a whole week without using the phrase...
iPhone users left feeling cheated
Thousands of iPhone users around the globe were left feeling cheated this week as they eagerly awaited news of the latest model from technology...
‘Men only wear sunglasses to check out other women, like at weddings’ say Scientists
Claims have been made in a startling report that men only wear sunglasses so that they can check out other women without their wives...
Aliens call off attack due to lack of funny title for this article
Giant brain-sucking aliens from the R33-Delta 1 Q’Luurfb system have put back their planned invasion of the planet Earth we can exclusively reveal today.
The...
Elon Musk to harness teenage angst as source of renewable energy
South African science lunatic & suspected wizard Elon Musk has turned his attentions to what he calls "mankind's greatest untapped resource".
A spokesperson for Mr...
Scientists prove warm prosecco only explanation for Love Island
A scientific study has been released that shows that Love Island can only be explained by warm prosecco.
Dr Frederick Seddon of Rochdale college told...
Cats growing increasingly desperate to find cure for Coronavirus
Pet cats have announced that they're ramping up their efforts to find a cure for Coronavirus as many find they're now forced to spend...
Heinz announces new alphabetti spaghetti for the blind
Purveyors of fine bean and pasta based tinned goods, Heinz, announced a new product this morning.
A spokesman told The Rochdale Herald:
"It's all about equal...
Cigar Shaped Asteroid Ouamuamua’s violent past hints he’s from Blackburn
Space - Mere months after it was revealed Om.. Oom.. that cigar shaped asteroid, was believed to have come from a distant solar system,...
US Government admits covering up red alert over imminent asteroid impact
Scientists and Government sources have confirmed that the giant asteroid, 2016-FI is on course to strike the Northern Hemisphere after initial uncertainty about it's...
Message from aliens intercepted.
Scientists at the Laval University in Quebec have intercepted what they believe to be a message from extraterrestrials.
The message was received encoded in modulations...
Crap internet in rural Scotland and Wales is good for the NHS says Westminster
One in five people, or 20% of the people in large areas of Scotland and Wales have not been online in the last three...
Trump marks 50 years since Abraham Lincoln walked on Mars
Donald Trump has today given a speech suggesting that it's the 50th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln walking on Mars.
A spokesman for POTATUS said,...
Only 17 more sleeps until numpties stop saying how many sleeps until Christmas
The London Sleep Clinic has today confirmed that it should only be necessary to go to bed 17 more times before everyone regains the...
