Calm down love! Let me mansplain your research for you
Professor Eleanor Goodchild of the Cliff Claven Linguistics faculty at Rochdale Community University has published her findings on Male Answering Syndrome ('MAS').
The Herald's...
Twitter Breaks Under Strain of Highly Original Wit
Twitter was forced to set up thousands of new servers today after an Australian car safety campaign released pictures of Graham.
Millions of original witsters...
Earth is Flat Confirms Cretin After Watching YouTube Video
Our foreign correspondent Miffy Bigboots reports from South London.
A man at a loose end over the weekend changed his opinion on virtually everything after...
Rochdale man who can’t explain what his job is tells people he’s a drug...
A Rochdale man who got tired of struggling to explain what his job is, so that people could understand what he does, now just...
Robots refusing cyber attack vaccine due to autism fears
The UK's robots have told the Government that they will refuse a vaccine that provides protection from computer viruses, over fears it could cause...
20 a day smoker worried 5G mast will give him cancer
A Bolton man says he fears that 5 aside football pitch flood light is actually a secret 5G mast that will cause him to...
2016 still killing celebrities
Following the first few weeks of January and the continuation of celebrity deaths, alternative facts and general shitwittery we were granted an exclusive interview...
South African Scientist Discovers Free Non-Polluting Energy Source
Imagine the scenario: you are in a pub, when a local starts spouting racist nonsense. You have an overwhelming desire to stand up and...
Government that can’t afford to electrify TransPennine Express announces plans for a space program
The Government has announced a vague and ill thought out plan to start a space program instead of electrifying the TransPennine Express railway line.
A...
Atheists pilgrimage to Dawkins’ home after Darwin appears on toast
Hundreds of atheists have laid siege to the home of renowned ethnologist and evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins after he reported finding an image of...
Buzzfeed pulls ‘Which terrorist group are you?’ quiz after complaints
Entertainment website Buzzfeed has withdrawn its ‘Which terrorist group are you?’ quiz following user complaints. The website removed the quiz on Tuesday afternoon, and...
The only chemicals you can kills kids with are high explosives and white phosphorus,...
Following the outcry over the alleged chemical weapons attacks in Syria, the Pentagon have confirmed that the only legal chemicals you can use to...
Climate change deniers blame solar panels for sucking all the light out of the...
Climate change deniers took to social media today to decry the damage being done by solar panels to the sun, which they blame for...
Chaos on Cambridge roads after Sat Navs hold minute silence for Stephen Hawking
There has been chaos today around Cambridge today after all the Sat Navs in the town spontaneously held a minute silence in remembrance of...
Crap internet in rural Scotland and Wales is good for the NHS says Westminster
One in five people, or 20% of the people in large areas of Scotland and Wales have not been online in the last three...
Heat from self-righteous can power the world
Scientists at the renowned Rochdale Community University's Social Physics department announced the discovery of a new energy source today.
“We discovered that the heat radiated...
