Science and Technology

White heat from the Technology News team: All the latest from the Rochdale and area tech scene

Scientists confirm tea tastes better when somebody else makes it

Researchers from Rochdale Community University have confirmed after years of extensive research that tea tastes loads better when somebody else has made it. Maurice Tips,...

?Kim Jong Un invents universal cure

0
The secretive state of North Korea has managed to cure most illnesses from the common cold to cancer, it has been revealed. Ishit Yu Not,...

Tests prove evolution has stopped among UKIP supporters

Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University’s Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed,...
Red and green nebula

Trump Election Due To Cosmic Emissions Says Brian Cox

Professor Brian Cox has explained the recent election of Donald Trump by pointing to a rare stellar phenomenon. The Oldham-but-not-Rochdale born scientist explained:- "On the 9th...

No Plans For Apple Tax to Just Rest in Irish Account 

The Irish government and their opposition are in agreement that they shouldn't have to tax corporations after an EU court suggested that perhaps Ireland...

Nobel Prize winning Physicist trying to delete U2’s album from iTunes

One of the winners of the 2019 Nobel Prize in Physics, Michel Mayor has told the Rochdale Herald that despite his award being announced...

Twitter Breaks Under Strain of Highly Original Wit

Twitter was forced to set up thousands of new servers today after an Australian car safety campaign released pictures of Graham. Millions of original witsters...

Labour to part-nationalise BT as a quick way of getting their broadband fixed

Labour to part-nationalise BT as a quick way of getting their broadband fixed. After five engineer visits, four no-shows and five hours calling BT, Labour...

US Government admits covering up red alert over imminent asteroid impact

0
Scientists and Government sources have confirmed that the giant asteroid, 2016-FI is on course to strike the Northern Hemisphere after initial uncertainty about it's...
Brian Cox's Flat Earth

Brian Cox concedes Earth is flat after spotting massive rounding error

0
Astrophysicists around or rather, across the world are in turmoil after Oldham-born pop-rock sensation, Professor Brian Cox today admitted that the Earth is...

A new Pokemon Go addition announced today is the Govey

The rare Pokemon can be found near knife drawers and can be evolved from its natural Tory stage, to raging Racist Govenator stage to...
angry man

Study finds link between hair loss and racism. 

Researchers at Rochdale Community University have uncovered the first clear links between racism and hair loss among men.  In an in depth study lasting nearly...
Theresa May

Anagramologists discover Conservatives is an anagram of voters cave in

Only Theresa May can effectively negotiate Brexit, according to Tories. "Obviously with all 27 EU nations being absolutely united and holding all the cards," explained...
Cave Painting

Before the ‘Iron Age’ everything was just creased, confirm anthropologists

A team of anthropologists and archaeologists from Rochdale Community College announced their exciting revelation about our ancestors on Thursday. They have confirmed that, before...
analogue

Government digital service actually still analogue

The government’s “digital service”, a branch of the cabinet office and the one that was meant to protect the government’s computer systems against cyber...
Aliens

Aliens call off attack due to lack of funny title for this article

0
Giant brain-sucking aliens from the R33-Delta 1 Q’Luurfb system have put back their planned invasion of the planet Earth we can exclusively reveal today. The...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts