Samsung unveil S1 at Burnley Tech Conference along with steam iron and Flymo
Gobsmacked attendees at the inaugural CES (Consumer Electronics Show) at Burnley Community Centre looked on in awe as Samsung unveiled its Galaxy S1 mobile...
5G spreads bullshit 10 times faster than 4G say experts
Some of Britain's top scientists have issued a stark warning ahead of the long-awaited rollout of 5G mobile networks across the country.
In an exclusive...
Streisand Needs To Pronounce Her Name Properly, Says Siri
Barbara Streizzand has used her fame as a has been screecher and ex-movie star to get Apple to alter the way Siri pronounces...
People with personalised number plates are knobs, according to latest research
Antisocial anthropologist Dr Alec Smartt revealed this astounding fact in his dissertation entitled "Discerning the class differentials in a post-modern classless society".
Dr Smartt's...
Veganism can be cured claim scientists
Scientists at Bideford University have claimed that the recent epidemic of Veganism can be stopped if victims receive treatment in the early stages of...
Rochdale sex romp for Ozone Day
Friday 16th of September was World Ozone Day but residents of a care home in Rochdale have been getting hot under the collar after...
‘Men only wear sunglasses to check out other women, like at weddings’ say Scientists
Claims have been made in a startling report that men only wear sunglasses so that they can check out other women without their wives...
Twitter Breaks Under Strain of Highly Original Wit
Twitter was forced to set up thousands of new servers today after an Australian car safety campaign released pictures of Graham.
Millions of original witsters...
If we can pay for food we can pay for rockets – say NASA
American space go-getters NASA are said to be up in arms about budget restrictions while there is still enough money available to feed some...
Fruit salad cancer risk
Fruit salads may cause cancer, top Latvian scientists have found. The study, published in Eat My Carcinoma, has sent shockwaves through fruit communities and...
Trump marks 50 years since Abraham Lincoln walked on Mars
Donald Trump has today given a speech suggesting that it's the 50th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln walking on Mars.
A spokesman for POTATUS said,...
Elderly people left speechless after discovering smart phone can make tea
19 year old student, Gary Downes, showed his Grandad Terance his new Samsung Galaxy S7 last week.
"I was showing him all the latest cool...
New Technology Foils Illegal Immigrants
In conjunction with the British Government-funded wall in Calais, British officials are working with maritime consultants on methods to physically prevent illegal immigrants from...
Labour to part-nationalise BT as a quick way of getting their broadband fixed
Labour to part-nationalise BT as a quick way of getting their broadband fixed.
After five engineer visits, four no-shows and five hours calling BT, Labour...
Researchers reclassify idiocy as alt-intelligence
Gavin Chappie of Rochdale Community University claims to have made a discovery in the development of AI.
He told the Herald that his theory may...
Cats growing increasingly desperate to find cure for Coronavirus
Pet cats have announced that they're ramping up their efforts to find a cure for Coronavirus as many find they're now forced to spend...


















































