Science and Technology

White heat from the Technology News team: All the latest from the Rochdale and area tech scene

Climate change deniers blame solar panels for sucking all the light out of the...

Climate change deniers took to social media today to decry the damage being done by solar panels to the sun, which they blame for...

Taking are speling back!

The new Apple iOS update is to include a new autocorrect function for words such as muslin, briton and rasict. Computer giants and tax dodging...

Being a tosser won’t stop you getting rich, scientist claims

Anders Farkenobbviarrs, head of research at the Norway Institute of Selfish Prick-like Behavior in Trondheim said “Loads of rich, successful people are total fuckers,...

Scientists confirm tea tastes better when somebody else makes it

Researchers from Rochdale Community University have confirmed after years of extensive research that tea tastes loads better when somebody else has made it. Maurice Tips,...

Rochdale sex romp for Ozone Day

0
Friday 16th of September was World Ozone Day but residents of a care home in Rochdale have been getting hot under the collar after...

Patriots actually just thick twats scientists prove

Scientists at Rochdale's Community University have proven conclusively that people identifying themselves on social media as "Patriots" are actually just thick twats.

Government that can’t afford to electrify TransPennine Express announces plans for a space program

0
The Government has announced a vague and ill thought out plan to start a space program instead of electrifying the TransPennine Express railway line. A...

Stephen Hawking’s next book titled A Brief History of C*nts

Stephen Hawking is well regarded as the largest living brain in Britain and someone whose opinions are worth serious consideration, while Mr Hunt as something rather different.
Tangled Wires

Tangled wires defy all laws of physics, confirm scientists

A study has proven that any one wire left unattended for 5 minutes, will tangle itself beyond the laws of physics.  The physics department of...

Stephen Hawking hasn’t got a leg to stand on, says Jeremy Hunt

Health Secretary Jeremy C. Hunt has responded to Hawking's criticism of NHS reforms in a series of tweets, which are pompous even by Hunt's...

Elderly people left speechless after discovering smart phone can make tea

19 year old student, Gary Downes, showed his Grandad Terance his new Samsung Galaxy S7 last week. "I was showing him all the latest cool...
Boris Johnson

‘Shit dont stick to this, fam’ says Boris Johnson

0
Non-stick coating manufacturer Teflon has today announced a lucrative tie in with Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson. The company is believed to have lined up an...
If we can pay for food we can pay for rockets - say NASA

If we can pay for food we can pay for rockets – say NASA

0
American space go-getters NASA are said to be up in arms about budget restrictions while there is still enough money available to feed some...

Cats growing increasingly desperate to find cure for Coronavirus

Pet cats have announced that they're ramping up their efforts to find a cure for Coronavirus as many find they're now forced to spend...

Part time Internet liberals mistake disagreeing with stuff with being offended scientist proves

Researchers at the world famous Rochdale Community University published groundbreaking research this morning proving that most of the Facebook Liberal elite don't know their arses from their elbows.

Apple to move to Battersea iStation

Apple have announced this week that they will be basing their future British tax evasion projects at South London's Battersea Power Station. Mayor Sadiq Khan...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts