Nightmare for woman who cleans phone screen.
A woman who felt all was well in world and wasn't troubled by current media output was horrified to learn the truth today after...
60 million Americans explore cryogenic freezing to escape Trump
With the ordeal of four years of President Trump looming over the horizon millions of Americans have applied to be cryogenically frozen for his term in...
Rochdale sex romp for Ozone Day
Friday 16th of September was World Ozone Day but residents of a care home in Rochdale have been getting hot under the collar after...
Microsoft worker takes Apple to court
Yesterday, a Microsoft employee allegedly got a dressing down from High Court judge, the Right Honorable Justice Antony Smyth-Tomkinson. The employee who we cannot...
What’s so f*cking great about sliced bread ask furious genius inventors
The wheel, the lightbulb, combustion engine, space travel, and the internet all pale in comparison to pre-sliced bread according to public opinion.
"I created the...
Theresa May’s credibility leaves solar system
Theresa May's credibility has become the third human-made object to travel into interstellar space less than two years after her mission began.
It passed through...
The only chemicals you can kills kids with are high explosives and white phosphorus,...
Following the outcry over the alleged chemical weapons attacks in Syria, the Pentagon have confirmed that the only legal chemicals you can use to...
Calm down love! Let me mansplain your research for you
Professor Eleanor Goodchild of the Cliff Claven Linguistics faculty at Rochdale Community University has published her findings on Male Answering Syndrome ('MAS').
The Herald's...
Microsoft to finally stop buggering about with Windows
Microsoft have announced today that they have finally finished fannying about with Windows and Microsoft Office.
The news has been met with widespread concern by...
Samsung unveil S1 at Burnley Tech Conference along with steam iron and Flymo
Gobsmacked attendees at the inaugural CES (Consumer Electronics Show) at Burnley Community Centre looked on in awe as Samsung unveiled its Galaxy S1 mobile...
Linkin Park’s poignant question answered
The question posed by Linkin Park all those years ago has been answered and
people might not like the answer.
According to scientists, who have been...
Trump Election Due To Cosmic Emissions Says Brian Cox
Professor Brian Cox has explained the recent election of Donald Trump by pointing to a rare stellar phenomenon. The Oldham-but-not-Rochdale born scientist explained:-
"On the 9th...
Dolphins disappear across the globe as Trump Inauguration looms
Oceans across the globe are feeling decidedly odd today after the entire planet's population of porpoises and dolphins completely and utterly disappeared overnight.
"I really...
Study finds link between hair loss and racism.
Researchers at Rochdale Community University have uncovered the first clear links between racism and hair loss among men.
In an in depth study lasting nearly...
Anagramologists discover Conservatives is an anagram of voters cave in
Only Theresa May can effectively negotiate Brexit, according to Tories.
"Obviously with all 27 EU nations being absolutely united and holding all the cards," explained...
Rochdale cyclist says he’s right about earth being flat
A Rochdale cyclist has spent the entire week explaining to people he works with how he knows the Earth is flat.
Carl Isles, cycles the...
