20 a day smoker worried 5G mast will give him cancer
A Bolton man says he fears that 5 aside football pitch flood light is actually a secret 5G mast that will cause him to...
Breaking: Climate Change Inevitable Declare Scientists
A leading group of scientists in the field of climate change and politicians from all over the globe on both the left and the...
Cats growing increasingly desperate to find cure for Coronavirus
Pet cats have announced that they're ramping up their efforts to find a cure for Coronavirus as many find they're now forced to spend...
Daily Mail demands children be taught anatomy using dead bodies of their teachers
The Daily Mail has today announced that school pupils in England should be taught anatomy using the dead bodies of their previously living teachers....
Shit closer to hitting fan than yesterday
Analysts and experts of faecal matters are saying that the shit, that was yesterday quite close to the fan, is now a bit closer...
New VW Eco-Diesel Car Scraps Itself In Event Of Ecological Disaster
Volkswagen announced the launch date for the VW Plannett Fuckerr, their new eco-friendly diesel family saloon today, assuring customers that this is 'the most...
Theresa May’s credibility leaves solar system
Theresa May's credibility has become the third human-made object to travel into interstellar space less than two years after her mission began.
It passed through...
No Plans For Apple Tax to Just Rest in Irish Account
The Irish government and their opposition are in agreement that they shouldn't have to tax corporations after an EU court suggested that perhaps Ireland...
Elon Musk to harness teenage angst as source of renewable energy
South African science lunatic & suspected wizard Elon Musk has turned his attentions to what he calls "mankind's greatest untapped resource".
A spokesperson for Mr...
Computer driven people are a menace say self-driven cars
Over the last ten years or so, humans have been becoming more and more computer-driven. Cars are speaking out against this worrying trend.
In a...
Rochdale in mourning as Willy Wonka actor Brian Cox dies in his sleep
The much loved character was played by the very youthful looking 83 year old Scientist, Actor and Professor Brian Cox who sadly passed away...
Donald Trump’s ego biggest object in known universe, says Professor Brian Cox
Science - Astronomers have the identity of the biggest object in the known universe, and it's not your average - or even above-average -...
Its not Lupus.
Hypochondriacs around the UK were said to be giddy with the excitement at the prospect of a new NHS website that will encourage them...
Dolphins disappear across the globe as Trump Inauguration looms
Oceans across the globe are feeling decidedly odd today after the entire planet's population of porpoises and dolphins completely and utterly disappeared overnight.
"I really...
Government to tackle loneliness in the elderly by converting them into WiFi hotspots
The government has announced plans to tackle social isolation in the elderly by converting them into WiFi hotspots.
The Department of Digital, Culture, Media &...
Scientists prove warm prosecco only explanation for Love Island
A scientific study has been released that shows that Love Island can only be explained by warm prosecco.
Dr Frederick Seddon of Rochdale college told...
