Physicist angry that with infinite universes, he got one with Trump in it
A failed physicist and lapsed university lecturer has lamented online about his inner anxieties.
Farage either ‘Innumerate’ or ‘Hypocritical Dickwad’ says Brian Cox
Nigel Farage is either blind to numbers or being a massive hypocrite, according to Professor Brian Cox, the eminent almost-Rochdale scientist.
"Farage has spent months...
Rochdale scientists breed Christmas ‘turkberry’
Top food scientists say they are 'very close' to successfully breeding a turkey with a cranberry bush.
The new 'turkberry' hybrid bush-bird could be on...
Trump Election Due To Cosmic Emissions Says Brian Cox
Professor Brian Cox has explained the recent election of Donald Trump by pointing to a rare stellar phenomenon. The Oldham-but-not-Rochdale born scientist explained:-
"On the 9th...
Plans for Trident found wrapped around a portion of chips
Detailed plans of the Vanguard submarine and Trident nuclear defence system have been discovered in Haywood.
It's not currently clear how the detailed specification drawings and...
The only chemicals you can kills kids with are high explosives and white phosphorus,...
Following the outcry over the alleged chemical weapons attacks in Syria, the Pentagon have confirmed that the only legal chemicals you can use to...
Chaos on Cambridge roads after Sat Navs hold minute silence for Stephen Hawking
There has been chaos today around Cambridge today after all the Sat Navs in the town spontaneously held a minute silence in remembrance of...
Theresa May’s Incompetence, Like Great Wall of China, ‘now visible from the Moon’
NASA Astronauts have confirmed that Theresa May's staggering incompetence has joined the Great Wall of China as the second man-made object to be visible...
BBC in new accusations of bias
Following the release of a teaser for the upcoming Star Wars VIII documentary film, the BBC has been accused of heavy bias towards the...
Researchers reclassify idiocy as alt-intelligence
Gavin Chappie of Rochdale Community University claims to have made a discovery in the development of AI.
He told the Herald that his theory may...
Scientists confirm that builder’s tea is just tea
A team of scientists from Rochdale Community University have confirmed after years of extensive research that builder's tea is, in fact, just tea.
Clarence Tetley,...
Samsung to rebrand Galaxy as the Supernova
Samsung made a shock announcement at the weekends major technology event, TERD (Technology, Electronics RochDale), which was held at the former site of The...
Moaning about stuff easier than dealing with stuff, scientists reveal
Scientist have discovered that moaning about your problems to people is much easier than dealing them. Professor Abra Cadabra of the Universality of Rochdale concluded...
?Kim Jong Un invents universal cure
The secretive state of North Korea has managed to cure most illnesses from the common cold to cancer, it has been revealed.
Ishit Yu Not,...
Woman killed by drinking mineral water 15 minutes older than best before date
A Rochdale resident was found dead at home today after consuming a bottle of water 15 minutes past its expiry date.
Police told the Herald that...
60 million Americans explore cryogenic freezing to escape Trump
With the ordeal of four years of President Trump looming over the horizon millions of Americans have applied to be cryogenically frozen for his term in...
