An office worker in Rochdale is celebrating this evening after his laptop finally finished updating just in time for the weekend.

Dave Bloke from Milnrow turned on his Dell laptop on Wednesday morning and decided to run the prompted Microsoft update while he went to make a cup of tea.

“It’s been a pretty stressful week to be honest.” Dave told The Rochdale Herald. “I’ve spent most of it banging my head on my desk muttering ‘for fuck sake why is this taking so long’, drinking tea and not sending emails.”

“Fortunately the laptop is now fully up to date and ready to use at 11.12pm on a Friday night. Handy.”

“It’s sort of ready to use now that Microsoft have updated it, I just need to spend four hours on the phone to customer support to get my emails reinstalled on it and reconnect all my SQL databases, whatever that means.”

“I expect I’ll be in a position to do some work by Tuesday afternoon just in time for their next update on Wednesday.”

“I’m thinking of becoming a budhist.”

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.