A failed physicist and lapsed university lecturer has lamented online about his inner anxieties.

On a Facebook post last Tuesday he exclaimed;

“Out of all the mutually parallel universes in existence, I had to end up in this one. A chronological quantum fluctuation anomaly must have flipped my consciousness into the wrong state. Now I’m trapped in a doomed Trumpian spacetime metric. ”

The source of the chronological quantum fluctuation anomaly is now believed to have occurred when Nigel Farage survived a plane crash back in 2010. This lead to the eventual Brexit vote and the election of Trump in what is technically termed a “causal avalanche”.

“Up until then, life was rosy, the banks had only just been bailed out. We were set for a slow economic recovery and racists had to hide their shameful sentiments. Now I’ve turned to alcohol, my wife has left me and the world is run by narcissistic psychopathic scary clowns. “

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.