Foreign words banned from entering English language March 2019

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Foreign words already resident in the native tongue, like Welsh ones, will be allowed to remain after England (and the others) exit the EU.

People Telling Me I Shouldn’t Have Told Schoolgirl To F*ck Off Can F*ck Off...

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The Conservative MP for Wells, James 'Compost' Heappey got all sweary when visiting the massively overpriced Millfield Academy for Young Toffs and Toffettes.  A Scottish...

Clocks won’t go back this month due to EU ruling

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The European Union and the UK Government have agreed that the UK's clocks won't go back an hour in October this year or change...

Nigel Farage’s reveals apocalyptic Brexit plan involves moving to Germany

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Nigel Farage MP (just kidding) has revealed a Brexit Armageddon plan that involves him relocating to Germany. It's understood that should Britain exit the...

Paul Nuttall Converted To Judaism

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Reports are circulating that investigators digging into the unbelievable past of the UKIP Leader have unearthed a 2004 MySpace page entry in which Paul Nuttall announced...

Prominent woman to feature on new £2 banknote nicknamed ‘Lost and found’ worth one...

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The Bank of England announced this morning that Prime Minister Theresa May will feature on a new two pound banknote timed for release in...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson says ‘Get behind May’ as it’s best angle to knife her in...

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FOREIGN SECRETARY Boris Johnson has urged colleagues to "get behind" the PM because "it's difficult to stab people in the back when you are...

Brexiteer speaks of shock at discovering Britain is an island

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Brexit Secretary Dominic Raab has been speaking of his discovery that Britain is an island today. Speaking to the media Mr Raaab said, "People have...

The Australian Federal Opposition has called for a Royal Commission into Royal Commissions

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In an extraordinary turn of events in Australia Opposition Immigration Minister Aidan Androyd has declared the "necessity for this Royal Commission." "Well, I tried to...

Labour Proposes New Tax on Books

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Labour Party Central Office has announced that it would consider forcing book publishers to pay a levy to help pay for Momentum leaflets and...

McCartney soils himself in public, again

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McCartney has once again made a huge arse of himself in public, this time by taking a shit with his clothes on in the...
Man on Toilet

Theresa May accuses Corbyn of using ‘Fake Poos’ to attack the Government and damage...

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A damning Government report, and therefore it's Theresa May saying it, has accused men, and therefore by inclusion Jeremy Corbyn, of using Fake Poos to attack...

Public in shock after Politician is caught lying to promote his own agenda

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The voting public was aghast today to discover that a career politician has been lying and spinning the facts through the media in order...

Trump Invades Iraq

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President Trump has declared war on Iraq after a five minute conversation with Tony Blair. The former British PM, referred to by White House officials...

Dead refugees welcome say Home Office

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Refugees will be welcome to Great Britain providing they are dead, under a new scheme announced by the Home Office. The new measures, expected to...

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