Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson granted protected geographical status by EU just like a Jersey potato

7
The EU has announced this morning that it has listed Boris Johnson as a product of the United Kingdom with protected geographical status, just...
Dunkirk

EU promises Dunkirk style flotilla to rescue nationals from UK “BREXKRIEG”

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The European Commission has confirmed that it has prepared plans to launch a Dunkirk style flotilla to rescue EU nationals in the event that...

City of Brighton & Hove to be shortened by 1 metre after Brexit

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Residents of Brighton & Hove were shocked to discover plans to shorten their city by 1 metre along it's East/West axis following Brexit. In 1972,...

Corbyn says we’re going to build a wall and Sturgeon is keen to pay...

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Communist rabble-rouser and socialist firebrand, Jeremy Corbyn, today announced the central plank of his party's manifesto pledge will be to build a wall between England...
Miliband

Ed Miliband Suspended by Labour in Anti-Semitic Bacon Sandwich Shocker

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Former Labour Leader Ed Miliband has been suspended from the Party after being accused of anti-Semitic breakfast habits. A spokesman for the Labour Party...

Theresa May to Naked Mud Wrestle Nicola Sturgeon for the Right to Trigger Brexit

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British Prime Minister Theresa May is to mud wrestle naked with Scottish nationalist leader Nicola Sturgeon for the right to trigger article 50 to take the...

Chequers agreement shreds itself

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Michel Barnier has revealed that the sole copy of the latest version of the Chequers agreement shredded itself in his office yesterday. "I popped out...
Britain First

Britain First strangely quiet over Jo Cox murder

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This week saw the conviction and sentencing of Thomas Mair in the case of the tragic murder of MP Jo Cox.  During the murder, the...

Dianne Abbott assures voters she’s feeling better after taking a Paracetamol

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Dianne Abbott, the MP for Stoke Newington and The Shadow Secretary for Health, has assured both parliament and her constituents that she has almost completely recovered from having a bit of a headache.

Daily Mail Exposed as a False Newspaper

3
Jonathan Harmswoth, 4th Viscount of Rothermere, controlling shareholder and current chairman of the Daily Mail has finally come clean and admitted that the newspaper...
Shrugging Man

No manifesto better than a bad manifesto say Conservatives

6
Confusion reigns following the Queen's Speech as the Tories deny all knowledge of a manifesto that may, or may not, have existed prior to...
Sofa

David Davis and Liam Fox successfully negotiate paying full price for DFS sofa

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Liam Fox and David Davis have been telling reporters how they were able to utilise their formidable negotiating skills to buy a new sofa...

Brexit Cancelled as Civil Servants Finally Read “Article 50”

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All nations attending Treaty discussions are only allocated one car parking space. UK plans for "Brexit" have hit the buffers after Westminster Civil Servants finally...
Right-hand drive chaos

Yorkshire driving ban on women to be lifted

27
The King of Yorkshire, His Majesty Geoffrey Boycott the first, has issued a decree allowing women to drive within the Sovereign state for the...
Westminster

Power hungry arseholes also pervy fuckers shocker

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The United Kingdom is in shock this week after an all-party think tank found that power hungry arseholes of all political persuasions are also...
Theresa May

You fucking asked for it vindictive Remain campaigner tells public after triggering Article 50

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Theresa May has told the British public that "you fucking asked for it" at a press conference after formally triggering the process to leave...

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