Scientist

Most Brexiteers cheat at Monopoly study finds

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Researchers at Rochdale College have found evidence that seems to show most Brexiteers cheat during family games of Monopoly. Dr Frederick Seddon told us, "We...

Rochdale man jumps off cliff and blames friends not believing he could fly for...

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A Rochdale man who sustained life threatening injuries after he jumped off Beachy Head has blamed his injuries on his friends not believing he...
Shrugging Man

No manifesto better than a bad manifesto say Conservatives

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Confusion reigns following the Queen's Speech as the Tories deny all knowledge of a manifesto that may, or may not, have existed prior to...

Gove Demands Westminster Soft Play Area

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Michael Gove MP caused elation inside Kate Hoey MP today with his demand for a soft play area at the Palace of Westminster. Gove, the...

US police to swear allegiance directly to Trump and be called the Orange Shirts

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In a bold new democracy-busting move, Emperor Trump has decreed the police will now swear an oath of allegiance directly to the person of...

New UKIP leader had hypnotherapy to stop him saying “I”m not a racist, but”...

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UKIP’s press officer Ms Gline Garafe reassured a nervous nation today by stating that UKIP’s new leader has undergone hypnotherapy to stop him saying...

Diane Abbott suspended from Labour Party for calling Tory Front Bench ‘crackers’

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Labour Shadow Home Secretary, Diane Abbott, has been suspended from the party after it emerged she was accused of using a racist slur during...

Skeletor still ‘pretty buff’ for a skeleton

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Men's Health Magazine today announced its annual Top Ten Fittest Male Celebs list with actor, recently elected DUP MP and self proclaimed evil overlord Skeletor...
Jeremy Hunt in the snow

Red Weather Warning as Conservative Politicians spotted with hands in own pockets

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With temperatures plummeting across the British Isles, many patriotic politicians are complaining at their lack of opportunities to escape the country. Conservative Politicians Jeremy Hunt,...
Shrugging Man

Who needs firemen anyway asks DUP clad Tory government

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There was anger in parliament last night as the government narrowly defeated a motion by the Labour Party to end the cap on public...

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s statistics

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UK Statistics Authority have reaffirmed the old adage today that there are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson's use of...

If anyone is going to offer stable leadership it’s us, say bolted horses

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Bolted horses around the UK have taken to social media to suggest that they could provide better leadership than Theresa May.
Rees Mogg

Jacob Rees-Mogg late for PMQ’s because he couldn’t find anywhere to park his horse.

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Jacob Rees-Mogg apologised to the Prime Minster today, after arriving late for the PMQ’s at Westminster. Running over 25 minutes late; Rees-Mogg blamed the lack...

Tories to increase appeal to younger voters by disbanding

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The Conservative Party have announced they intend to disband after this years party conference in Manchester. Political analyst Ecgbert Wonk said, "The last election showed...

Theresa May to hold referendum on soft, medium or hard Brexit

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Unelected ghost of Thatcher, Theressa May, Prime Minister, announced the news earlier today; "The ballot will be simple" she said. "There's three boxes, soft,...

Government takes time off from covering up child abuse to tell people what kind...

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The UK Government has taken time off from failing the victims of institutional child abuse and covering the tracks of high profile paedophiles to tell people what kind of pornography they're allowed to watch.

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