Trump demands to be “Showered in Gold” during UK visit
The spokesman explained that, during his visit in October, President Trump will be shown all the normal formalities accorded to a visiting US president.
These include a...
Tory superbug found in pigs
A variant of the antibiotic-resistant superbug MRSA normally found in old Etonians and Conservative Party politicians has found its way into the nation's...
Jeremy Corbyn under investigation after making vicar’s daughter cry during hustings
Leftist wheat-eater Jeremy Corbyn came under fire from his own back-benchers today, after being accused of making a girl cry, and not just any...
Rishi Sunak to announce 80% wages to be replaced by a free bike
The Chancellor of the Exchequer is set to announce that the job retention scheme, which sees those workers furloughed by their employer receive 80%...
Matt Hancock adds Straw Clutching to his cv as “transferable skill”
Hot on the heels of Boris Johnson's success in the Stable Door Shutting championships, the Health Secratary, Matt Hancock has added Straw Clutching to...
Boris Johnson shocked to discover British Empire no longer exists
Foreign Office officials have confirmed that Boris Johnson has finally accepted that the British Empire no longer exists, more than a year after he...
Satirist sues CNN for stealing Trump Headline
The Rochdale Herald has issued a cease and desist letter to CNN after they stole a satirical headline about Donald Trump.
New London Development Announced
With todays news that the Calais Jungle has been cleared of filthy asylum seekers, the ramshackle dwellings have immediately been occupied by an even...
Wales Seeks Independence as Gareth Bale Doubles Welsh GDP
Carwyn Jones has changed his mind on Welsh Independence after Gareth Bale’s new contract doubled the GDP of Wales.
“We can’t stop Brexit without a strong opposition”, says old hippy who keeps forgetting...
Jeremy Corbyn has taken time out from his busy schedule of avoiding anybody not singing, "Oh, Jeremy Corbyn" to prove he's still alive and...
Slightly right leaning liberal centrist wishes everybody would just piss off
Slightly right leaning liberal centrists declared publicly today that they wish everybody would just piss off.
"I wish everybody would just piss off." Bob "Bobby"...
Topless Danczuk in topless holiday prison catfight scandal
The owner of a Villa in Alicante is said to be furious after discovering the Danczuk's had been holidaying in his property.
Simon Danczuk, God...
Australian Government launches plan to solve poverty by fining poor people
It has been revealed that secret meetings between the Prime Minister’s office and the Australian Federal Police has culminated in Operation Integrity, a scheme designed to push as many welfare recipients as possible, over the edge.
New cold war looms as Trump aspires to make American prostitutes better than Russian...
Concern that America is falling behind Russia in the pay-for-sex industry was allayed last night after President Donald J Trump announced a new ‘hooker...
Heath department hails compulsory organ donation as possible way to pay for Brexit
Sources inside the Department of Health this evening are said to be excited over the Secretary of State's alleged contribution to the debate about...
Citizen’s arrest powers updated to include summary execution
Put your hands on the car and get ready to die.
Home Secretary Amber Rudd confirmed today that the Police and Criminal Evidence Act (PACE)...
