EU to force UK to use £ s d following Brexit…
Brussels has warned that Britain will no longer be allowed to use the decimal system following Brexit and will be forced to go back...
Ed Millibland defeated again at PMQ’s
Leader of the Opposition, Boris Johnson, once again tore into Mr. Millibland's 'weak' and 'out of touch' Government.
Since successfully leading the remain campaign in...
Sturgeon Scotland Indyref Goes to Defcon Fandouble-Dozi
Nicola Sturgeon has told Theresa May that she is not "bluffing" on the promise of a second independence and has gone to Defcon Fandabidoubledozi!
In...
Essex dog fears for future after hands-on meeting with Prime Minister
Essex - A black and white border collie from Sonning, Essex was reported to be safe in protective custody after being accosted by the...
Stubborn turd refuses to flush
A massive turd that is blocking the downstairs bog next to the Cabinet Meeting Room in Downing Street has been studiously ignoring hints that...
?Britain First & UKIP oddly quiet about white family abusing student visa rules
Quite why the public aren't offended by the white, middle class family trying to buck the immigration system is baffling academics as anti-immigration campaigners...
David Cameron In Shock After Key Attack On Shed
A member of the radical far left group Momentum is in custody this evening after apprehension following keying of the paintwork on David Cameron's...
Prince Nuttall Awakens Britain’s Slumbering Populace With A Kiss
Joyful celebrations were heard throughout the Kingdom after it was confirmed that Prince Nuttall of UKIP had awakened Princess Populace with a kiss.
Handsome Prince...
Putin Accused in Rogue One Plan Hack Report
Emperor Palpatine has sensationally accused Russia of interfering in the internal affairs of the Galactic Empire.
He has warned that the Empire will retaliate for...
Left wing politics should be kept out of schools, say right wing parents
People who are quite happy to have their kids going to schools where the armed forces recruit, monarchy is glorified and the status...
Bolton Distances Itself From Bolton
The town of Bolton has decided to release a strongly worded on letter to the press following the election of Mr Henry Bolton as...
Tory MP resigns because government is a bit conservative
Conservative MP Stephen Phillips, who has represented Sleaford and North Hyekham, in Lincolnshire for 6 years has resigned.
The word in Westminster is the barrister...
Lord Voldemort refuses to compare himself to any character in The Conservative Party
Lord Voldemort was visiting Hogwarts School today and was asked whether he was a fan of the Conservative Party by a student during a Q & A session in the Slytherin common room.
Idiot turns on News and now can’t sleep
A man in Lancashire this evening accidentally turned on his television this evening to see Donald Trump leading Hillary Clinton in the polls in North Carolina and now definitely won't sleep.
Obviously you should agree with me, it’s 2017 say progressives, obviously
People across the nation are up in arms that other people don’t apparently realise that it’s the current year.
“It’s 2017,” said Faye Zbuk-Warrior,” I...
Boris not offensive, simply misunderstood – insists Boris
Posh fop-headed press gob and Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson has defended the countless insults and faux pas he has made by claiming that each...
