Whitewash of establishment nonces in the interests of the children – says dame
Amber Rudd is set to give evidence to a commons committee on the state of the inquiry into child sexual abuse in place of...
Party planner faces cleaning bill after pile of elephant dung left in conference hall
Organisers of a widely publicised public party found themselves faced with a giant cleaning bill this morning after owners of the venue they partied...
Modern slavery greatest evil, says woman who supports unemployed working for free
Theresa May has announced that the worst thing in the world, after Trump's hair and Boris Johnson's gob, is modern slavery. Millions will...
McCartney soils himself in public, again
McCartney has once again made a huge arse of himself in public, this time by taking a shit with his clothes on in the...
New age verification tests to be brought in for asylum seekers
Following public outcry that someone who has had their home blown to smithereens might be so desperate as to embellish the truth in order to seek sanctuary.
UKIP select new leader using Guess Who
UKIP have announced their new leader having given the process over to the childrens game, Guess Who.
UKIP member Cliff Edge said, "With dwindling membership...
Barrymore seeks planning permission for bigger pool after High Court throws out Blair war...
It is being reported that Michael Barrymore is all set to appeal to the High Court for planning permission for a second swimming pool...
Full blown Brexit testing on monkeys halted after everything in lab just f*cking died
David Davis, lead researcher in the government's secretive Brexit Lab, has announced that Brexit testing on monkeys has been halted after everything in the...
Britain declares national state of Armagammon
An emergency committee has confirmed that Britain faces an unprecedented state of 'Armagammon' today.
One insider told us, "This is the highest state we could be...
Sturgeon triggers IndyRef 2 after house lands on sister
Nicola Sturgeon sensationally called for an independence referendum after a house came seemingly from nowhere and landed on her sister.
Speaking through an interpreter she...
Remainers celebrate Brexit anniversary by repeatedly bashing their heads against brick wall
The tens of millions of people who voted to stay in the European Union, and those that wished they had but couldn't be assed...
Michael Fallon quits Cabinet to pursue dream of ‘not having to work here any...
The Secretary of State for Defence has left colleagues at the Cabinet stunned when he sent a memo slating all of them at once.
In...
Jeremy Corbyn threatens to remove ISIS leaders from Christmas Card List
Jeremy Corbyn and Diane Abbott have taken the bold step to thoroughly condemn the actions of ISIS supporters this week and are preparing to...
DUP offer to support May if she kicks Bishop Brennan up the arse
The Democratic Unionist Party has offered to support Theresa May's minority government on the condition that she kicks Bishop Brennan up the arse, according...
Trump towers above the little people for TIME magazine
President-elect of the USA Donald J Trump has been named “Person Of The Year” by TIME magazine which referred to its own nation as...
Letter F dies of embarrassment during conference speech
Paramedics and specialists in typesetting were seen rushing to the site of a terrifying incident at the Conservative Party conference in Manchester earlier in...
