Tory leadership contest to be between Mark Francois and two slices of cheap ham.
With Theresa May's grasp on power reduced to the nail varnish on one finger, the candidates to replace her have been formally announced.
Weighing in...
Trump and Putin plan the partition of Poland
It’s been revealed that American President Donald Trump and Russian President Vladamir Putin have agreed to partition Poland between their two countries.
Both leaders...
Boris meant Saudis are awesome says Defence Secretary Michael Fallon
Boris Johnson’s words on Saudi Arabia and other Middle East powers were misreported, according to a clearly desperate Defence Secretary Sir Mr Michael of Fallon.
Argument for abortion makes argument against abortion
Underchinned Tory leadership hopeful Jacob Rees-Mogg has upset both women and homosexuals today by saying he is opposed to same-sex marriage and abortion under...
Britain First’s meme maker in coma
As Poppy Day draws ever closer, the strain of making anti Muslim memes has proven to much for Britain First's head of social media, Tommy...
Jeremy C*nt to sue BBC for repeatedly getting his name wrong
MP Jeremy C*nt has accused the BBC of deliberately getting his name wrong during broadcasts, in order to publicly belittle him.
The angry parliamentary member...
Putin’s money was just resting in my account Trump tells James Comey
Donald Trump has dismissed as fake news any suggestion that money that has appeared in his account is anything to do with collusion with...
Theresa May’s password ‘strongandstable’ easiest to guess say hackers
In the wake of the recent cyber-attacks on parliament, we have learned a lot. For starters, the reason Theresa May keeps saying “strong and...
Michael Gove is handsome and intelligent according to new YouGove poll.
A new poll by Britain's newest survey company has revealed that Michael Gove is both handsome and intelligent.
The new company, YouGove, polls members of...
Theresa May counters ‘dead in the water’ jibes by her splashing about and crying...
George Osborne expected to push Theresa May’s political career beneath the waterline when he claimed she was ‘dead in the water’, but May quickly...
Mike Hookem’s Dad officially bigger than Steven Woolfe’s Dad
Following an altercation in Strasbourg yesterday between two fully grown adult men, Mike Hookem and Steven Wolfe, UKIP released a statement saying;
Labour conference advised “Don’t mention the Brexit, I mentioned it once but I think...
The Labour Party Conference in Brighton attendees have been advised not to mention the Brexit. They mentioned it once, but they think they got...
Pound hitting 8 year low nothing to do with Brexit Professor at University of...
Professor Cliff Edge has been quick out of the blocks today to reassure the public that the pound hitting an eight year low against...
Kaiser Chiefs hurriedly rerelease ‘I Predict a Riot’
As crowds of surprisingly calm protesters gather at Westminister to demand the resignation of the recently elected droid, Maybot 2.0, The Kaiser Chiefs are...
Remain campaigners thwarted by import shortage of “I Told You So”s
Anti-Brexit campaigners are suffering from a shortage of "I Told You So"s, as "Project Fear" rapidly swings into "Operation I Told You So", as...
ISIS applies for FIFA membership
The murderous psychopathic caliphate known as ISIS has applied to join the world football governing body, FIFA.
In a surprise move, they hope to be...
