Boris Johnson awards Carillion contract to build bridge to France
Boris Johnson's office has revealed that the Government will award the contract to build a bridge between Britain and France to construction company and...
Theresa May to be replaced by heavy slow moving rain shower
“Rain shower means rain shower."
Jeremy Corbyn insists he’ll remain Labour leader even after death
Serial metaphorical and actual seat avoider, and leader of a thousand students ineligible to vote, Jeremy Corbyn, has announced that nothing will stop him ruining the...
Russians Accuse Corbyn of ‘Cultural Appropriation’
British Russians have reacted angrily to the Labour's Election Manifesto announced by Jeremy Corbyn and accused him of "offending or even humiliating an entire...
SNP Manifesto just bootleg copy of Braveheart and sheet of paper saying Referendums
The long awaited SNP manifesto is released today to huge anticipation.
Henry Bolton Declares vote of No Confidence in UKIP
UKIP leader Henry Bolton has declared a unilateral vote of no confidence in UKIP. Bolton has spoken out tonight, claiming that he wants to...
London celebrates first “Gammon Pride” event
Scotland Yard and the Met Police are bracing for potential violent clashes at a "Gammon Pride" event being held in London today.
The event will...
?Britain First & UKIP oddly quiet about white family abusing student visa rules
Quite why the public aren't offended by the white, middle class family trying to buck the immigration system is baffling academics as anti-immigration campaigners...
Davis to seek pinky promise with Barnier over customs arrangements post Brexit
David Davis offered reassurance today to business leaders worried about customs arrangements post Brexit by declaring he would seek a pinky promise with Michel...
BREAKING NEWS!!! Supreme Court Rule 6 to 5 in Favour of Parliament Vote on...
In the last few minutes the Supreme Court have voted 6 to 5 in favour of Parliament having the final say on Brexit.
Rochdale urban...
Conservative Christmas Party cancelled after failing to negotiate piss up deal with brewery
There was despair throughout the Conservative Party today after government officials announced that the annual Christmas do has been cancelled.
The news comes after many...
Failed withdrawal expected to lead to painful Labour
Using the withdrawal method requires a high level of self-control. Even then, the withdrawal method isn't especially effective.
On the face of it (which is...
Boris Johnson shocked to discover British Empire no longer contains Canada
Foreign Office officials have confirmed that Boris Johnson has finally accepted that the British Empire no longer contains Canada, more than a year after...
Rochdale DFS Sale has finally ended
Rochdale DFS announced the first end of a sale for a decade after running out of sofas yesterday.
DFS customers in Rochdale are expected to...
POTUS to “bring back some Brexit” as a souvenir from UK visit
It has recently been announced that Donald Trump, the 45th President of the United States (POTUS) is to pay a state visit...
Some chap who won...
UKIP Apologises For Not Knowing What Obvious Means
UKIP were forced to admit today that big words like "joke" and "obvious" are generally beyond their grasp.
The announcement came after a social media...
