Future election results to be based on pandemic exam model
Following the overwhelming success of the Department of Education's strategy of grading academic exam results based on teachers' predicted grades and previous attainment levels,...
Herald Guide to Parties Brexit Position
As the General Distraction looms ever closer, more and more people are wondering where the various parties stand on the issue of Brexit.
So we...
Pro Brexit MP’s walk out of Brexit meeting rather than face reality
Several Brexit-supporting MPs walked out of a meeting on Brexit today when a report proved to be too gloomy.
“I was expecting the report to...
Conservatives horrified at ‘meagre’ income of BBC presenters
On Wednesday in was revealed to the public how much some of our favourite BBC Presenters earn, as well as some rubbish ones too.
The...
Losers celebrate election victory
The winners of the 2017 election are despondent today as they downheartedly celebrate their victory.
“Yay. Fandabby bloody dozey,” said Conservative Unionist National Tory Society...
Corbyn vows to walk to Brussels to get best Brexit deal
Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has vowed that if he becomes Prime Minister he will personally walk to Brussels to demonstrate how serious he is...
Get behind my shit deal or we won’t be able to do dreadful thing,...
Theresa May has urged MP's to get behind her awful Brexit plan or risk not being able to have Brexit.
With many people warning that...
Trump campaign drops email subject as Clinton exonerated
Republicans and other Trump supporters are graciously admitting that perhaps they got a little carried away today after it was revealed that no evidence...
If the Irish don’t want Apple’s £11BN tell them we’ll have it – say...
It transpires that North Sea Oil Revenues now contribute £60Million to the Scottish revenue pot, down from almost £13Billion a couple of years ago...
Emails found on MP’s pornhub viewer
A forensic investigation of Damian Green's computer has revealed that it was used for viewing emails, conducting research and processing documents, confirming that...
Medical advances meant most students will survive to pay back large debts PM reassures...
The woman pretending to be British Prime Minister is expected to increase her appeal to the younger demographics today. She will do it by...
Theresa May rehearsing upcoming Brexit u-turn while on hill walking holiday
"It will be my most challenging about face yet." The Prime Minister is reported to have informed her cabinet as they prepared to disband...
Britain faces Sophie’s choice over which incompetent arsehole leads it
Britain has revealed it is spoiled for choice on which incompetent aresehole it has leading it.
A spokesman told us, "Everyone is cheering at the...
NHS Funding: Less is more insists Jeremy Hunt
A government source told us yesterday that robot eyed shitkicker Jeremy Hunt has decided to take a more philosophical approach to the NHS crisis.
Dr...
Conservative MPs unable to point to their constituency on a map
A recent survey has revealed that a staggering 89% of Tory MPs are unable to findtheir constituency on a map.
The survey results, which were...
Colonel Mustard blames the Housing Minister in the Cabinet Office with the Funding Cuts
Colonel Mustard has alleged that the housing minister, in the cabinet office, with the funding cuts caused the Grenfell fire.
The Colonel, wearing a...
