Other News

BBC bosses are completely at a loss to explain why Nick Grimshaw's BBC Radio 1 breakfast show has suffered its biggest drop in ratings since RAJAR began collecting data in 1992. Grimshaw, who has...

Embattled Tory MP Mark Garnier claims he was simply misunderstood by his Secretary over recent sex abuse allegations that have rocked Westminster. Barnier, a member of Parliament since 2010, said that he'd simply had...

In an emotional statement to the world's press meant to deflect allegations he has a penchant for baby antelope, Kevin the Lion has come out as being openly gay. This has shocked nobody in...

The king of Dildos and soon to be former International Trade Minister Mark Garnier is to investigated over a potential breach of the ministerial code after he admitted to asking a former parliamentary aide to buy him a dildo

Tragic news has reached us here at The Rochdale Herald for all lovers of the morbid mopheaded muso and former front man of The Smith's, Morrissey. Today we have learnt that the singer, whose real...

Simon Cowell’s stairs have received a Brit Award for their outstanding contribution to the music industry after the reality TV star was found unconscious at the bottom of them, it has been announced. Judd Jim...

Almost the entire Salford lineup have been selected as part of England’s squad for next year’s World Cup, it has emerged. All the English players from the team have been picked to represent their...

The United Kingdom has apologised "unreservedly" for making Michael Gove a Cabinet Minister after he compared being raped to being a bit like being politely asked questions about his job during an interview on Radio...

The death of the latest life-long influence of people too painfully cool for words, Fats Domino, has caused a Google Crash despite everyone thinking he was already dead. The desperate search for the "Did...

The office of the prime minister has reassured the nation this morning by announcing that patron saint of Toryism, Margaret Thatcher, is to be resurrected on Halloween night this year to put the caring...

A Rochdale man who sustained life threatening injuries after he jumped off Beachy Head has blamed his injuries on his friends not believing he could fly. Friend Martin Williams told us, "We tried to tell...

After detailed research, leading academics have revealed a list of staunchly pro Brexit MPs and have demanded that the old, rich white people in question present the case for Remain to allow for balanced...

The English Football League has admitted buying its footballs from Denny’s Auto Diesel & Spar Mini-Mart on the Bury New Road in Rochdale. The balls, nicknamed the Penny Swerver by posh kids from Sutton...

Excellent Tory plan is embraced by all writers of most patriotic newspaper in North of England In response to a letter from that most patriotic of MPs, Chris Heaton-Harris, the Herald’s Editor Quentin D Fortesqueue,...

Outraged music lovers everywhere have been devastated by the news that Brexit will cause the Three Tenors to be devalued to £17.93. Observers have noted that the fall in value of the Pound has coincided...

There were raucous scenes at Westminster yesterday as several MPs were advised that a new system for processing expenses meant a six week wait for reimbursement. “This is a scandal!” Terrance Loan, Con MP for...