The death of the latest life-long influence of people too painfully cool for words, Fats Domino, has caused a Google Crash despite everyone thinking he was already dead.

The desperate search for the “Did Fats Domino do Wonderful World, or was it that other black guy?” has already melted telephone lines in Shoreditch and hits on internet search engines for the words “under-appreciated architect of Rock and Roll” have reached highs not seen since the death of Chuck Berry earlier in 2017.

Further info-chaos is predicted as people desperately try to find a Facebook comment other than “Ain’t that a shame” while the price of original Fats Domino vinyl 45s is set to rocket as the trend setters desperately grab onto the mourning-coat tails of the latest rock ‘n’ roll hero to bite the dust.

A toast and quinoa bistro called Blueberry Chill opened on Friday morning in Stoke Newington and expects to attract a vibrant crowd. Owner and recent lifelong fan, Quentin Fortesque said “This is the death of post-modern demi-reverentialism and the associated culture as it is perceived to be.

“I’ve feared it’s dissipation for years now, as you hear people everywhere – from Breakfast Cereal restaurants to faux-New York vintage Ping Pong bars – from young preteens in the suburbs wearing Toms shoes and the emblematic keffiyeh scarf to Moms and Dads hugging their vinyl record collections – calling each other to mourn the loss of…sorry who again? Chris Akabusi?”

Domino died in Harvey, Louisiana, remaining seminal, and tremendously hard to lift.

He is survived by his brother Sam “Big-Bones” Pizza Hut.