Embattled Tory MP Mark Garnier claims he was simply misunderstood by his Secretary over recent sex abuse allegations that have rocked Westminster.
Barnier, a member of Parliament since 2010, said that he’d simply had a busy day and that he had just eaten a particularly hefty business lunch.
“Its a complete misunderstanding that’s been blown out of all proportion” he told us. “She just misheard and I think the little love simply took hold of the wrong end of the stick and got her knickers in a twist. I think, you know, it was probably her time of the month or something, everybody knows how crotchety they can get? They turn on the waterworks at the smallest of things.
“Anyway, what I actually said is ‘I want you to sack my cook and hold my calls.’ It was harmless really, just a throw away comment. Just then – and it really couldn’t have happened at a funnier time – my trousers fell off!
“Well how we both laughed. I am sure she found it as funny as I did at the time because the tears were rolling down her cheeks. It really was very funny. It’s one of those every day situations – it’s happened to all of us really I imagine – but out of context I can see how it might be misinterpreted. Anyway, she’s making a mountain out of a molehill.”
Mr Garnier is unrelated to the famous beauty products business of the same name, but did say “it’s good for her hair” whatever that means.