Outraged music lovers everywhere have been devastated by the news that Brexit will cause the Three Tenors to be devalued to £17.93.
Observers have noted that the fall in value of the Pound has coincided with the reduction in size of ten and five pound notes. Appreciation of music of EU origin has not been accompanied by an appreciation in its monetary value.
The Government has responded robustly. It announced, to the stirring sounds of the Dambusters March, that foreign music will be subject to strict entry criteria after the UK leaves the EU. In other words, non-UK music must be self-sufficient, must benefit the UK, and not put UK music out of work. Less Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov, more Andrew Lloyd-Webber.
The two remaining Tenors, after the passing of Luciano Pavarotti, were not impressed.
“Even two tenors should be worth twenty quid, said Tony Deffe, spokesman for both Placido Domingo and the other one. The Brexit shambles is leading to a devaluation of music.”
“Domingo is reckoned to be more of a baritone these days. It means, having a tone like Barry,” explained Deffe helpfully. Let’s hope that means Barry White, or Barry Gibb, rather than Barry Chuckle.
The new compact, plastic ten pound note has been dubbed a “Pavarotti” in some quarters, in tribute to the late maestro. Angry nationalists have objected all over Twitter. One user, known only as “Brittishisdabest!!”, enquired “wy carnt their be a BRITTISH tener 4 a BRITTISAH tener?” Name one, he was challenged. “I carnt but thats aint the point d*******”, he replied.
While the general tenor of the discussion headed towards impotent name-calling, the Pavarotti in your pocket is still losing value.
Again, the Government has come up with an intriguing solution. “Devaluation started when we went decimal in 1971,” claimed Treasury spokeswoman Penny Farthing. “We are planning to revert to good old British pounds, shillings and pence.”
So instead the Three Tenors will be worth seventeen pounds, eighteen shillings and sixpence.